Anonymous
08/11/2024 13:00
Subject: Emailing with young counselor?
I would contact the camp without naming names regarding their training or policies. My kids have gone to a camp for years where they have gotten the contact info of their counselors - there is no policy on that. The camp needs to give better guidance. You don’t have to specifically name the young man to do this. Sounds to me like he hasn’t been given any guidance on how to respond so he is giving these short answers
Anonymous
08/11/2024 12:44
Subject: Emailing with young counselor?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Email him directly and ask him to longer email your daughter. They are trained to never have direct contact with the youth they work with. Wildly inappropriate. In fact, if this were a sports sponsored camp you could likely file a Safe Sport complaint.
This OP
It is highly inappropriate.
That camp needs to be notified and told in no uncertain terms their counselors should not do this.
I agree OP. In addition to a short and concise note telling him to not contact your DD or reply to her, I’d also tell the camp.
That isn’t meant to be punitive to him. He hasn’t done anything illegal and it won’t have an impact on him personally. Perhaps the camp doesn’t hire him next summer, but he likely doesn’t care and will move on to a real job this year. But it will help the camp in future training of counselors to explicitly outline how to handle these situations
Anonymous
08/11/2024 11:07
Subject: Emailing with young counselor?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You are the parent. Tell your *DD* to stop. FFS.
Why a doesn’t HE stop? He is 20 something.
Op says he’s sending short replies and I’m assuming nothing inappropriate or she would have said so. This is on op to manage her dd. If op goes to the camp this will likely explode the guy’s life.
Op needs to tell her dd she is watching her account and that it’s not appropriate to be emailing the counselor. She needs to actively parent her child.
Doesn’t matter. He should be sending no reply. Why is he continuing? I agree no need to implode his life and “report” him anywhere given the details so far, but he should know better than to be continually engaging with her every email
Anonymous
08/11/2024 10:59
Subject: Emailing with young counselor?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You are the parent. Tell your *DD* to stop. FFS.
Why a doesn’t HE stop? He is 20 something.
Op says he’s sending short replies and I’m assuming nothing inappropriate or she would have said so. This is on op to manage her dd. If op goes to the camp this will likely explode the guy’s life.
Op needs to tell her dd she is watching her account and that it’s not appropriate to be emailing the counselor. She needs to actively parent her child.
Anonymous
08/11/2024 10:46
Subject: Emailing with young counselor?
Anonymous wrote:I see my 11yo daughter has been having email exchanges with a counselor from her overnight camp that she attended earlier this year. The counselor is a male in early 20s. It seems he is trying to keep the messages short but she is writing A LOT. I am accessing from her email that she is not aware of... What would you do? I want to tell her to stop messaging him but is it also something you would bring to the awareness of the camp? TIA.
Was this a religious camp?
Either still inappropriate period
Anonymous
08/11/2024 10:46
Subject: Emailing with young counselor?
Anonymous wrote:How did she get his email address? That is strictly forbidden at my kids' camps.
At my kids camp, they come home with an address book that includes all campers and staff addresses and emails. They do ask prior if you want to be included in this. But it’s a single gender camp. Even so, a cont back and forth from the 20 yr old guy is inappropriate. One email response, maybe but after that he should have stopped responding. Her DD would move on just fine.
But even if the 11 yr old googled this guy and found his email from somewhere, why would he respond then? Anyone with two cents would just ignore the 11 yr old’s email, especially if he didn’t publish his email or give it to her.
Anonymous
08/11/2024 10:45
Subject: Emailing with young counselor?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Is the problem that he’s male? Because I used to write letters to my camp counselors all the time, but they were girls. Some of them attended my Bat Mitzvah.
+10000 One camp counselor has now become like a big sister to DD and a close family friend. If he was female I don't think you would be so upset, or if it was a boy emailing a woman.
No absolutely not.
Make or female. Counselors are employees of the camp they are not your kids from make female no
Anonymous
08/11/2024 10:44
Subject: Emailing with young counselor?
Anonymous wrote:Email him directly and ask him to longer email your daughter. They are trained to never have direct contact with the youth they work with. Wildly inappropriate. In fact, if this were a sports sponsored camp you could likely file a Safe Sport complaint.
This OP
It is highly inappropriate.
That camp needs to be notified and told in no uncertain terms their counselors should not do this.
Anonymous
08/11/2024 10:43
Subject: Emailing with young counselor?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I see my 11yo daughter has been having email exchanges with a counselor from her overnight camp that she attended earlier this year. The counselor is a male in early 20s. It seems he is trying to keep the messages short but she is writing A LOT. I am accessing from her email that she is not aware of... What would you do? I want to tell her to stop messaging him but is it also something you would bring to the awareness of the camp? TIA.
Why aren’t you telling your daughter you monitor her messages? You “want” to tell her to stop? I seriously don’t get some of the parents in this area. Your 11-year-old daughter is exchanging emails with a 20-year-old man and you haven’t shut this down yesterday? I honestly find that confusing. What are you afraid of? Where is your protective instinct as a parent? I’m not attacking you, I’m genuinely confused. Why is there would be any question on your part about this situation? Whether you reach out to him or reach out to the camp is totally secondary to putting the brakes on this whole situation right now.
I agree. It's like people are afraid to parent their children.
Anonymous
08/11/2024 10:41
Subject: Emailing with young counselor?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You are the parent. Tell your *DD* to stop. FFS.
Why a doesn’t HE stop? He is 20 something.
He should stop. But you don't control him. We don't have enough details. What he's doing is wrong but he doesn't have the perspective of a full adult/parent. It's highly possible the messages he's sending are kind and he's not saying anything inappropriate.
Don't start off adolescence off with a victim mentality where everyone else was wrong and hurt you. Teach your DD to be smart, aware, and protect herself.
Anonymous
08/11/2024 10:23
Subject: Emailing with young counselor?
How did she get his email address? That is strictly forbidden at my kids' camps.
Anonymous
08/11/2024 10:21
Subject: Emailing with young counselor?
Anonymous wrote:You are the parent. Tell your *DD* to stop. FFS.
Why a doesn’t HE stop? He is 20 something.
Anonymous
08/11/2024 09:56
Subject: Emailing with young counselor?
You are the parent. Tell your *DD* to stop. FFS.
Anonymous
08/11/2024 09:55
Subject: Emailing with young counselor?
Anonymous wrote:Email him directly and ask him to longer email your daughter. They are trained to never have direct contact with the youth they work with. Wildly inappropriate. In fact, if this were a sports sponsored camp you could likely file a Safe Sport complaint.
He's trying to be nice and not hurt her feelings so let's ruin his life
Anonymous
08/11/2024 09:10
Subject: Re:Emailing with young counselor?
OP who sent the first email? I’d want to know how this started and how they even got each other’s email addresses to begin with. As others have said this is wildly inappropriate.