Anonymous wrote:Is there anywhere the 16 year old would like to go? Can you let him pick a few things to do in whatever city, and then give him the option to just sit around in the hotel or explore on his own when he doesn’t feel like joining?

My nephew has issues with traveling. He won’t even go to my sisters second home. Complains non-stop.

They’ve just started leaving him home with a relative.

Anonymous wrote:Send the 16 year old to overnight camp for two weeks. And do whatever other travel you want.

+1

We have a similar issue. Now, we do one summer and one winter trip that the kids will definitely love (skiing and summer sports,) and all the other trips are just for DW and me.

Are you ever letting him pick a trip or things to do on the trip? Restaurants?

The few trips we went on my parents did nothing kid-friendly and would go walking everywhere and wouldn't let us see the sites except a distance. It was miserable.

Send the 16 year old to summer camp

We have a neurodivergent, rigid kid who doesn't like change or travel to new places. It's tough. When we do travel which is rare, we've started to get her a separate hotel room. It's pricier but helps her to have her own space which then helps everyone. There's no one right way to handle it. I hope the parents who deem this "bad parenting" can at least acknowledge that they don't know the ins and outs of everyone else's situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As they get closer to college age, a lot of them start cr*pping in the nest as a way of separating. My kid's high school counselors even warned us about the first visit home once they were in college.

I agree with the suggestion to give them downtime. They might also like exploring by themselves. My teens had a blast in Paris for a day while the parents were suffering from food poisoning and had to stay at the hotel all day.

Sorry but the “soil the nest” idea seems to be a refuge of parents who raised bratty and spoiled kids.

You posted the third comment as well?

Anonymous wrote:My sister told me that when traveling with her teens, it was vital that she planned plenty of downtime. It killed her and her husband to leave their teens in the hotel so they could be on their phones instead of exploring an amazing new city, but that was how the teens didn’t burn out. My sister and her husband did their own thing during that time.

My kids are younger but I can see already how some kids really need a lot more downtime. One busy day and then 1-2 low key days.

This is so important! Plus the letting teens explore some by themselves (within reason - we said no to DD walking around Phuket by herself at night). But the downtime really is key. I have to remind DH that vacations are more about togetherness and not cramming in every possible activity. Just pick and choose, know that we won't do every single thing but we can all enjoy the things that we end up doing.

And, some kids are just harder than others. We lucked into teens who are pretty easy with travel, but I don't delude myself into thinking that they travel well because my parenting is so spectacular.

Anonymous wrote:As they get closer to college age, a lot of them start cr*pping in the nest as a way of separating. My kid's high school counselors even warned us about the first visit home once they were in college.

I agree with the suggestion to give them downtime. They might also like exploring by themselves. My teens had a blast in Paris for a day while the parents were suffering from food poisoning and had to stay at the hotel all day.

Sorry but the “soil the nest” idea seems to be a refuge of parents who raised bratty and spoiled kids.

Anonymous wrote:Send the 16 year old to overnight camp for two weeks. And do whatever other travel you want.

That kind of kid probably hates overnight camp even more.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly this sounds like a failure to parent. Of my child was behaving like that I would not tolerate it. And yes, I have teenagers.

One day soon, your kids aren't going to care whether you tolerate things or not. They'll go to therapy and blame you for everything.

As they get closer to college age, a lot of them start cr*pping in the nest as a way of separating. My kid's high school counselors even warned us about the first visit home once they were in college.

I agree with the suggestion to give them downtime. They might also like exploring by themselves. My teens had a blast in Paris for a day while the parents were suffering from food poisoning and had to stay at the hotel all day.