Anonymous
08/08/2024 11:31
Subject: Is "on the spectrum" offensive?
When someone uses this term, I assume they don't have a ton of personal experience with special needs or autism because it is not how it is colloquially referred to most of the time. For example, a teacher at my DS's preschool referred to another child that way and that was a big clue to me that she didn't know much about autism. I was correct.
Anonymous
08/08/2024 11:28
Subject: Is "on the spectrum" offensive?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So what should be said instead? Do we just say a person is weird/quirky? Or do we just not acknowledge their weirdness and pretend it doesn't exist?
Seriously? Why do you need to comment on anyone at all? Are you the office gossip or bully? You sound super unprofessional and I’m sure people that are more mature and in higher level jobs notice.
Do you find these things acceptable to say? “Jack in accounting is really gay, right?” “Sally in marketing seems like a fundamentalist homeschooler.” “My boss is bipolar because I never know if he’s going to be in a good mood.” “ Bob seems kinda ghetto.” Evan in IT is definitely on the spectrum, right?
Never seen or heard this whilst at large or small companies.
Anonymous
08/08/2024 11:27
Subject: Is "on the spectrum" offensive?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I have recently been in situations where adults casually referred to awkward or socially unaware colleagues as "on the spectrum." I find this frustrating and offensive (and often inaccurate) and the term itself bothers me. I am a mom of a SN kid so definitely sensitive to this kind of thing.. is this objectively offensive? How about if referring to a kid with an ASD diagnosis?
You call your kid a "SN kid" but you are offended when people say "on the spectrum"?
Does your house have any mirrors?
Do you have any critical thinking? Why are you on the SN Board? OP has a child diagnosed with special needs. Duh. It is rude to make armchair diagnoses of people because you find their behavior weird. Why do have to explain this to an adult?
People aren’t so ignorant about what symptoms go with what anymore. Do they can think whatever they wish. If they have to talk about it with others they’ll have to pretend the PC HR police are behind them.
Do people with ASD take offense if people suspect they have ASD? Explore that.
You can formally keep your dx a secret but if incidents keep popping up and aren’t addressed, relationships can be damaged.
Anonymous
08/08/2024 11:24
Subject: Is "on the spectrum" offensive?
Anonymous wrote:So what should be said instead? Do we just say a person is weird/quirky? Or do we just not acknowledge their weirdness and pretend it doesn't exist?
Just start saying:
Quiet
Quirky
Introverted
Antisocial
Person of few words
Needs decompression time
Not their cup of tea
Tapped out
Not interested
We have a relative w HFA and he never wants to join in on stuff.
Initially a new relative would naturally worry about him- why, is he feeling ok, have a bad day, pissed off by someone here, want to go somewhere else?
So saying something, like, don’t worry about uncle John he needs his alone time, helps the situation.
Anonymous
08/08/2024 11:20
Subject: Re:Is "on the spectrum" offensive?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:On the spectrum as a term is not offensive. However, saying someone is on the spectrum because you perceive them as quirky can be offensive and derogatory.
This is what I think too. I hate armchair diagnoses that are often given in bad faith.
I agree with both of you.
Anonymous
08/08/2024 11:20
Subject: Is "on the spectrum" offensive?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I have recently been in situations where adults casually referred to awkward or socially unaware colleagues as "on the spectrum." I find this frustrating and offensive (and often inaccurate) and the term itself bothers me. I am a mom of a SN kid so definitely sensitive to this kind of thing.. is this objectively offensive? How about if referring to a kid with an ASD diagnosis?
What’s the alternative?
Does saying nothing accomplish something better?
Would being called rude be better?
Like in family court or work performance reviews you just focus on the pattern of behaviors and symptoms over and over and how they negatively affect things. No need to postulate a Dx or label. It doesn’t matter. The chronic symptoms matter. That’s where the buck stops. For others.
For the afflicted it’s up to them to manage their symptoms or find a better environment for them.
Multiple people have offered alternatives to making up a BS armchair diagnosis and you keep ignoring them. What TF is your problem.
Anonymous
08/08/2024 11:19
Subject: Is "on the spectrum" offensive?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I have recently been in situations where adults casually referred to awkward or socially unaware colleagues as "on the spectrum." I find this frustrating and offensive (and often inaccurate) and the term itself bothers me. I am a mom of a SN kid so definitely sensitive to this kind of thing.. is this objectively offensive? How about if referring to a kid with an ASD diagnosis?
No it’s not.
It’s helpful at work so you know the behavior is coming from a source of confusion, not malice.
However, in general, no one is to speak of others’ symptoms, misbehavior patterns, or potential diagnoses in the workplace (or politics, clothing, physiques).
So it’s ultimately a missed opportunity to help and accommodate if people don’t know what is driving the missed social cues or need for extra instruction or narration.
No, the general public is not qualified to assess this.
Just be a professional and try to help people that have specific challenges. Referring to them as "on the spectrum" just because you perceive issues with social communication is offensive and smacks of bullying.
Anonymous
08/08/2024 11:17
Subject: Is "on the spectrum" offensive?
Anonymous wrote:I have recently been in situations where adults casually referred to awkward or socially unaware colleagues as "on the spectrum." I find this frustrating and offensive (and often inaccurate) and the term itself bothers me. I am a mom of a SN kid so definitely sensitive to this kind of thing.. is this objectively offensive? How about if referring to a kid with an ASD diagnosis?
What’s the alternative?
Does saying nothing accomplish something better?
Would being called rude be better?
Like in family court or work performance reviews you just focus on the pattern of behaviors and symptoms over and over and how they negatively affect things. No need to postulate a Dx or label. It doesn’t matter. The chronic symptoms matter. That’s where the buck stops. For others.
For the afflicted it’s up to them to manage their symptoms or find a better environment for them.
Anonymous
08/08/2024 11:13
Subject: Is "on the spectrum" offensive?
Anonymous wrote:I have recently been in situations where adults casually referred to awkward or socially unaware colleagues as "on the spectrum." I find this frustrating and offensive (and often inaccurate) and the term itself bothers me. I am a mom of a SN kid so definitely sensitive to this kind of thing.. is this objectively offensive? How about if referring to a kid with an ASD diagnosis?
No it’s not.
It’s helpful at work so you know the behavior is coming from a source of confusion, not malice.
However, in general, no one is to speak of others’ symptoms, misbehavior patterns, or potential diagnoses in the workplace (or politics, clothing, physiques).
So it’s ultimately a missed opportunity to help and accommodate if people don’t know what is driving the missed social cues or need for extra instruction or narration.
Anonymous
08/07/2024 22:19
Subject: Is "on the spectrum" offensive?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So what should be said instead? Do we just say a person is weird/quirky? Or do we just not acknowledge their weirdness and pretend it doesn't exist?
This smacks of bullying. It would be interpreted as unprofessional in the workplace and insensitive among aquitances.
Some other options:
"She has a direct communication style"
"He appreciates being told where there is flexibility in this instruction"
"She has a restricted diet"
"He is a homebody who prefers to focus on his hobbies"
Exactly! These descriptions are also way more useful because they are actually focused on the point at hand and what might be needed or impacted.
Anonymous
08/07/2024 22:18
Subject: Is "on the spectrum" offensive?
Anonymous wrote:So what should be said instead? Do we just say a person is weird/quirky? Or do we just not acknowledge their weirdness and pretend it doesn't exist?
Seems like you should keep your opinions to yourself. If you're using "on the spectrum" as code for "weird," then yeah, it's pretty obvious you shouldn't be saying it.
Anonymous
08/07/2024 19:23
Subject: Is "on the spectrum" offensive?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I have recently been in situations where adults casually referred to awkward or socially unaware colleagues as "on the spectrum." I find this frustrating and offensive (and often inaccurate) and the term itself bothers me. I am a mom of a SN kid so definitely sensitive to this kind of thing.. is this objectively offensive? How about if referring to a kid with an ASD diagnosis?
Its offensive when they are basically bullying and making up stuff.
Quirky is a nice way of saying rude. On the spectrum is a nice way of saying quirky and rude. What you want is for people to excuse rudeness without ever even acknowledging that's what they're doing. That only works with friends and people who like you. For colleagues or acquaintances, it won't work.
Yuck. Someone on the spectrum isn't being rude when they don't adhere to your expectations. If you see that someone is offended by something an autistic person is doing, seek to bridge understanding by being descriptive. "Hannah loves to voice her opinions, please let her/us know if you'd prefer we don't discuss X, y, z" "Tom is an enthusiastic storyteller and sometimes needs to be steered to other topics or reminded of your time limits." Whatever the case may be.
Anonymous
08/07/2024 19:10
Subject: Is "on the spectrum" offensive?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I have recently been in situations where adults casually referred to awkward or socially unaware colleagues as "on the spectrum." I find this frustrating and offensive (and often inaccurate) and the term itself bothers me. I am a mom of a SN kid so definitely sensitive to this kind of thing.. is this objectively offensive? How about if referring to a kid with an ASD diagnosis?
Its offensive when they are basically bullying and making up stuff.
Quirky is a nice way of saying rude. On the spectrum is a nice way of saying quirky and rude. What you want is for people to excuse rudeness without ever even acknowledging that's what they're doing. That only works with friends and people who like you. For colleagues or acquaintances, it won't work.
Anonymous
08/07/2024 19:08
Subject: Is "on the spectrum" offensive?
Anonymous wrote:I have recently been in situations where adults casually referred to awkward or socially unaware colleagues as "on the spectrum." I find this frustrating and offensive (and often inaccurate) and the term itself bothers me. I am a mom of a SN kid so definitely sensitive to this kind of thing.. is this objectively offensive? How about if referring to a kid with an ASD diagnosis?
Its offensive when they are basically bullying and making up stuff.
Anonymous
08/07/2024 19:05
Subject: Is "on the spectrum" offensive?
Anonymous wrote:So what should be said instead? Do we just say a person is weird/quirky? Or do we just not acknowledge their weirdness and pretend it doesn't exist?
This smacks of bullying. It would be interpreted as unprofessional in the workplace and insensitive among aquitances.
Some other options:
"She has a direct communication style"
"He appreciates being told where there is flexibility in this instruction"
"She has a restricted diet"
"He is a homebody who prefers to focus on his hobbies"