Anonymous
Post 08/03/2024 08:16     Subject: Re:older relatives always asking if my DD is "seeing anyone"
Anonymous wrote:
she's never been in a real relationship or brought anyone home to meet us.


This is unusual.

The asking is ok. Asking is ordinary.
If they aren't pressing beyond the 1 question they are not being rude.
It's not unheard of either that they love your DD and are genuinely concerned for her happiness.

Which is not directly tied to her romantic life.
Mind ya bizness Gladys!
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2024 23:38     Subject: older relatives always asking if my DD is "seeing anyone"
Anonymous wrote:In my culture people usually ask because they love matchmaking.


Cool.

My dad (!), had 11 aunts and uncles, and had paired up three of his female cousins with guys from his softball team or IBM job or college. All three pairs are still married! This was Chicago in the 1960s/70s.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2024 17:23     Subject: older relatives always asking if my DD is "seeing anyone"
In my culture people usually ask because they love matchmaking.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2024 15:56     Subject: older relatives always asking if my DD is "seeing anyone"
Anonymous wrote:Why do people ask questions other people might not like or want to answer?


Because they are uncouth be it by birth or upbringing.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2024 15:55     Subject: older relatives always asking if my DD is "seeing anyone"
Anonymous wrote:If she was 18, the question would be rude. At 27, as a grown adult, it is a valid question. Just say she's dating but hasn't found that special someone yet.


It’s not your business.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2024 15:53     Subject: older relatives always asking if my DD is "seeing anyone"
Anonymous wrote:My 27yo DD meets guys and dates regularly, but she has not found someone she really meshes with romantically. In fact, she's never been in a real relationship or brought anyone home to meet us. I try not to stress about this (although I do and so does she). It doesn't help that whenever we're at a family gathering, my MIL asks about it. Thankfully, MIL has stopped asking my DD directly about her love life, but now she asks DH and me. Other older relatives have also commented to us along the lines of, "Oh dear. I hope she finds someone." I'm working on responses to these questions. So far I've come up with "You'll be the first to know if there's someone special," "No, she's not seeing anyone. Are you?" (if the relative is single) or simply "She's living her best life." Other thoughts on how to shut down the questioning?


They're just worried she's approaching her sell-by date. As are you.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2024 15:51     Subject: older relatives always asking if my DD is "seeing anyone"
I think it’s a weird question. I would never ask it (because I frankly don’t care if some other adult is dating?) and am surprise that anyone under 70 would ask this question in 2024. It feels like something out of a 60’s sitcom - “always a bridesmaid, never a bride!”

OP, a casual “ y’know, I don’t know” is the right response. Don’t let weird, faux concern questions get to you. People like to gossip. Usually it’s because something is going on in their own life and they need validation that it’s not just them.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2024 12:38     Subject: older relatives always asking if my DD is "seeing anyone"
Why do people ask questions other people might not like or want to answer?
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2024 12:16     Subject: older relatives always asking if my DD is "seeing anyone"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I really don’t think it’s a rude question. I mean it ranks up there with: looking to buy a house? Where are you going on vacation?

Grandma isn’t asking when she’s getting married, just if she’s seeing anyone.


No, I'm too poor to buy a house. I'm not going anywhere on vacation, because I can't afford to. Thats' what you want to hear? Because those are my truths.


Why so hostile about an example of universally standard questions? I guess you'd be similarly offended if someone were to ask about your job, educational interests, hobbies, books, movies, sports ..would all those be off-limits too?

Is it so hard to just say, "No, I'm not looking for a house to buy." or "No vacation plans." and then change the subject.

You can always bring up bowel movements. Assuming you still have them.



Anonymous
Post 08/01/2024 10:39     Subject: older relatives always asking if my DD is "seeing anyone"
If she was 18, the question would be rude. At 27, as a grown adult, it is a valid question. Just say she's dating but hasn't found that special someone yet.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2024 10:21     Subject: Re:older relatives always asking if my DD is "seeing anyone"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It would honestly never occur to me that this is a rude question.


It’s just not rude because OP is embarrassed by it.


OP should be worried. Women like that often don’t get married and have kids. DD could be the end of the line.


What line? Everyone isn't royalty with kingdoms to inherit.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2024 10:19     Subject: older relatives always asking if my DD is "seeing anyone"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It’s not odd that she is 27 and single. It’s odd that she has Never had a long term relationship. You know that OP and that’s why you’re prickly about it.


Plenty of people somehow make it all the way to 27 without a longterm relationshio. Especially with the the way younger generations socialize differently than their elders.


Very true. And for most high earning careers, it requires years of college and training. Most people are not settled till early to mid-30s.


That's where system is broken, careers should go hand in hand with life. Having to suspend life for a decade has consequences.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2024 10:18     Subject: Re:older relatives always asking if my DD is "seeing anyone"
How about a simple "I don't know."
And then change the subject.
I have 3 adult non-married daughters and I do not talk about their private lives to anyone.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2024 10:15     Subject: older relatives always asking if my DD is "seeing anyone"
For what its worth, this isn't much different for young men and their mothers either, they face similar line of questioning.
Anonymous
Post 08/01/2024 10:14     Subject: older relatives always asking if my DD is "seeing anyone"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It’s not odd that she is 27 and single. It’s odd that she has Never had a long term relationship. You know that OP and that’s why you’re prickly about it.


Plenty of people somehow make it all the way to 27 without a longterm relationshio. Especially with the the way younger generations socialize differently than their elders.


Very true. And for most high earning careers, it requires years of college and training. Most people are not settled till early to mid-30s.