My kid graduated this year. Several of their friends threw parties; DC was invited to some, the whole family to others. (And in some cases, I had a convo with the host family that was "Will we see you all on Saturday?" "Sorry, I thought the invite was only addressed to Larla..." "But of course we want you all!"... followed by a mad scramble to work in one more party.)

Takeaways for the class of 2025:

1. If just your kid is invited, they don't need to bring a gift. A card, yes. But having a friend group shuffle around the same $$ gets kinda ridiculous.

2. If the family is invited, bring a gift, because that's a present from adults to a kid. $24 cash in an envelope or a check for $20.24 were popular amounts.

3. If you are making up the guest list and using Evite, be specific in who from a particular email is invited. Because otherwise families are completely confused.

Anonymous wrote:It’s a celebration of a milestone. Feel free to decline the invitation if you think it’s something else.

+1. Do you think Christmas is just a tacky gift grab, too? Birthdays? What about anniversaries? We celebrate milestones as a community. You're the one making this about the gifts.

HUH? What a crazy post. I graduated in 1997 and had a HS graduation party. I don't remember receiving any money. Perhaps there was some but it was likely very little. That wasn't the point of the party. It was to celebrate a HUGE milestone with friends and family before heading off to be a young adult on my own.

Some of us love our people, OP. Sorry that you're not one of those. The money is not the point.

Anonymous wrote:Cheap twats like OP is one of the reasons society is going downhill.

This

My daughter just wanted to invite friends and family to have food and cake. My husband grilled and smoked things (it’s what he does as a former Texan), some people came, most brought a small gift but no one was tracking that.

My child went to a couple and got her friends small gift cards.

I mean, it is nice to bring something to a milestone party, but we certainly had no intention of gift grabbing in any way, shape or form. We just wanted people to come and celebrate that our kiddo graduated-period.

Cheap twats like OP is one of the reasons society is going downhill.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I totally disagree.

I have relatives (Southern) who send out "graduation announcements." Now THAT is a money grab. My MIL will send a kid she has not seen in 15 years $50, just to be polite or something!

I think you are ascribing mal-intent where there is none. Maybe, rarely, the driving force is to get gifts. But why live life with that mentality? Even so... let's play this out. Family thinking about all the many costs associated with going to college. Kid says "Oh what about X?" Mom says, "Idk I think you will have to go without X. Or maybe you'll get some gift money for graduation you can put towards it?" Is this really the worst thing in the world and worth resenting someone over?

Why do you hate your mother's happiness? Are you just grubbing for every nickel in an inheritance (yes)

What? No, I just don't understand why MIL would be that nice. She thinks it's an annoying money grab too, but she just does it. She's actually my ex-MIL so I stand to inherit $0 from her. But we're still friends.

But nice try being nasty to a stranger on the internet. Here's your cookie.

Anonymous wrote:My DD was invited to many parties, and many kids came to hers. Most didn’t bring gifts; those who did brought something small and/or meaningful (my DD loves pickles and her friend bought her a jar). Most of the adults gave ~50 with a few random 100’s thrown in. Some didn’t give a gift at all. Everyone seemed to have a nice time.

This. For us it was mostly family for the entire party (because thays what our family does). Friends were drop in, as there were many each night. Some brought GCs some did nit, nothing required. For some, completing 12 years of school before heading off to college is big deal

Anonymous wrote:It’s like a Bar Mitzvah. Definitely a gift grab.

troll

Anonymous wrote:Backyard party, some food catering and sodas, invite everyone you can think of and they're expected to pop by and leave $100-500 in a card. Rubs me the wrong way.

Go pay someone $100-$500 to rub you the right way.

It’s a celebration of a milestone. Feel free to decline the invitation if you think it’s something else.

Anonymous wrote:I totally disagree.

I have relatives (Southern) who send out "graduation announcements." Now THAT is a money grab. My MIL will send a kid she has not seen in 15 years $50, just to be polite or something!

I think you are ascribing mal-intent where there is none. Maybe, rarely, the driving force is to get gifts. But why live life with that mentality? Even so... let's play this out. Family thinking about all the many costs associated with going to college. Kid says "Oh what about X?" Mom says, "Idk I think you will have to go without X. Or maybe you'll get some gift money for graduation you can put towards it?" Is this really the worst thing in the world and worth resenting someone over?

Why do you hate your mother's happiness? Are you just grubbing for every nickel in an inheritance (yes)