Anonymous wrote:I'm sure my kids have used it with friends, but it is absolutely forbidden in my house, and they know it. Their friends know not to swear in my house. The adults don't use it either. I wouldn't hold the kids to swearing rules I didn't follow myself!

Kids are 14 and 19.

Me again. My friends, who all have older teens, have similar rules in their house. We're normal middle class people in the DC area. Left wing to boot.

I'm sure my kids have used it with friends, but it is absolutely forbidden in my house, and they know it. Their friends know not to swear in my house. The adults don't use it either. I wouldn't hold the kids to swearing rules I didn't follow myself!

Kids are 14 and 19.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s low class.

Agree. I would definitely not tolerate to me, in public, or around adults.

If they are a younger teen or tween I’m not sure what I do. I would try to steer them away from whatever friends seem to be contributing to this. I would probably tell them they need to keep texts profanity free as well.

Oh dear. You live a very sheltered life.

It has nothing to do with class, income or how you raise them. It’s innate personality. I have two teens. One never swears, ever, and is vocal about being the grammar police sometimes.

One uses it quite a bit in casual conversation with friends or even us at home. He never does in front of grandparents, at work or school, at us or in situations where strangers or the general public may hear.

We always hear from others how polite and mature our kids are. Knowing your audience is most important, not if you occasionally swear with friends in a private setting.

Interesting studies on swearing.

… the benefits of swearing have only come to light in the past two decades due to advancements in brain and emotional research, as well as improved brain anatomy study methods.

….studies have shown that well-educated people with a wide range of words at their disposal are better at producing curse words than those with less verbal fluency. This suggests a correlation between language ability and intelligence. In addition, swearing can also be associated with social intelligence, as it requires knowing when appropriate.

Swearing has been shown to improve tolerance toward pain. Studies show that people who swear while participating in physically demanding tasks exhibit more power and strength than those who use neutral language. Furthermore, cursing can reduce the perception of pain; for instance, individuals who swear while submerging their hands in icy water experienced less discomfort and were able to keep their hands submerged for longer periods. Cursing initiates an emotional response that triggers a stress reaction, leading to a pain reduction.

https://www.orlandomedicalnews.com/article/6255/why-swearing-holds-surprising-benefits-a-window-into-intelligence-pain-management-and-more#:~:text=A%20Potential%20Indicator%20Of%20Honesty&text=People%20who%20swear%20are%20perceived,necessarily%20means%20higher%20ethical%20behavior.

So I don't really have a prob with cursing. I think I read an article about how those who curse are typically the most honest of people. I don't like it and won't stand for my 2 kids ages 12 and 14 to curse all the time but if every now and then time in the context of a real curse appropriate moment it comes out, I'm also not going to punish them. I personally curse a lot but I obviously realize most people have an issue with it and am very careful who are around when I do I find a lot of other things much more offensive than cursing personally including cheating, stealing, lying, bullying. I find cursing an expression of words, which if used in the right context, are just words.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s low class.

+1 Sign of a limited vocabulary.

*sigh*

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-swearing-a-sign-of-a-limited-vocabulary/

https://bpb-us-w2.wpmucdn.com/campuspress.yale.edu/dist/a/1215/files/2016/05/Giordano-rg5y5r.pdf

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for those that know your kid has or does use f* word with friends, at what age did they start? Do they also use with you? I feel out of date or naive from being raised in a “no bad words” house. Is f* even considered “bad word” anymore? Do some parents still tell kids they “won’t tolerate that language in this house”?

Your POV is the correct one. Of course, the "F" word is still profane and shouldn't be used in polite company.

My house was weird growing up (my mother and father had different definitions of what it meant to swear) but the F word is a no-go over here for our 13 year old. I wish I had been more strict on “damnit” but alas. I also note that it is a no-go for my 13 year old, but I certainly slip up . And we’ve declared blanket amnesty for nasty language while driving.

Anonymous wrote:It’s low class.

+1 Sign of a limited vocabulary.

Anonymous wrote:Question for those that know your kid has or does use f* word with friends, at what age did they start? Do they also use with you? I feel out of date or naive from being raised in a “no bad words” house. Is f* even considered “bad word” anymore? Do some parents still tell kids they “won’t tolerate that language in this house”?

Only one kid does it and he started at age 3. We parent them all our kids the same way, so it's not a parenting problem on our end, it's a personality problem on the kid's end. The first few times he got in trouble for saying it at school he learned to stop saying it at school. Still does it at home. The other kids are like church ladies. We pick our battles, and this particular battle did not get picked.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s low class.

Pp your comment is classist. I know 'upper class' people who use it and 'lower' class people who don't.

Rich people (aka "upper class") can behave lower than low class. It's not meant to describe someone's wealth or social standing, but their behavior.

My daughter is 21 and a rising senior in college. She knows better than to ever use it in our house. My husband and I make a point to avoid any swear words and we expect the same of her. Now I’m sure she uses it amongst her friends, but not at home.

I was overhearing a group of teen boys in public talking loudly amongst each other using the F word in a place that was within ear shot of young children. One of the teen boys I overheard tell the group to essentially shut up because there were little kids around. I remember thinking maybe it’s inevitable that teens are going to use swear words with friends but I would strive as a parent to have my kid be like that kid. I don’t know how you achieve that though, but his parents must have done something right for him to have an awareness of how your actions (swearing or otherwise) can impact other people and not be so self centered which so many teens are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s low class.

It didn’t happen in elementary because we live in a high SES neighborhood with its own local ES.

But the middle school has 10 feeder elementary schools, and some of those 10 are in low SES areas.

Once my kids were exposed to low SES kids, they started using the F word all the time.

They were also exposed to kids vaping in the bathroom for the first time in 7th grade.

Please. It’s not a low-SES/high-SES thing. It’s part of going to middle school and starting to learn what kind of things shock and frighten the old people.

Anonymous wrote:It’s low class.

It didn’t happen in elementary because we live in a high SES neighborhood with its own local ES.

But the middle school has 10 feeder elementary schools, and some of those 10 are in low SES areas.

Once my kids were exposed to low SES kids, they started using the F word all the time.

They were also exposed to kids vaping in the bathroom for the first time in 7th grade.