Ask him point blank if he wants to go home because he’s acting like he wants to go home. If he wants to stay lay out what needs to happen to stay and make it clear if he doesn’t behave in a reasonable manner then he’ll be on the next flight home—no more warnings.

Also, seriously, take the phone away. He can have it for a couple hours in the morning and a couple hours (max) in the evening. He needs to burn off energy—that’s part of the problem, I suspect. Too much screen and not enough activity.

1. Put your charger where nephew can’t reach it. Don’t give him access until he’s demonstrated the ability to listen to and respect rules.

2. Set rules. Quiet time after your kids are in bed, respect other people (no jump scares, no reading his cousin), contribute to the collect task of maintaining the household — all the kids should have chores.

3. Cook as you would normally for your family. If he’s not eating anything or complains of being hungry, take him with shopping or have him help you cook a dinner he’ll enjoy more. It’s good for your kids to try different things too.

4. Give him positive feedback/interactions when you can. I know he’s not actually a toddler but he sounds like he’s acting like one due to being passed around like a hot potato this summer.

The whole situation sounds maddening for you but hopefully you can give him some good structured family time for a week and he’ll either appreciate it/you or hate it enough you won’t get put in this situation again.

Anonymous wrote:Tell him to stop and give him a consequence. Phone stays in your room at night. Chargers break all the time. No big deal. Make sure there is one thing he will eat. Stop being judgmental.

Chargers break all the time? I've had chargers for over a decade and never had one break. What are you doing with yours?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I can’t just leave an 11 yr old stranded at BWI.

No, but you could have read your mother/sister the riot act and demanded they
1). pay for the full cost of the lost vacation day regardless and

2 a.) one of them gets on the soonest available flight to come care for the child or

2 b.) they purchase/reimburse you for his immediate flight home

It sounds like you are a doormat and your family pulled this on you because they knew you wouldn’t stand up for yourself.

I would have. Who the hell puts a kid on a plane and then tells the person who is supposed to watch him?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me be clear on something: I did not know it would just be my nephew until the night before he arrived. My sister worked everything out with my mom, who paid for his plane ticket.

The ticket was bought without my approval. I had packed the car and had to delay a day to wait for Nephew’s plane to come in.

Again why the hell do you let these relatives walk all over you!! MIL bought a ticket on the wrong day without consulting you? MI
L/SIL bought a ticket to send kid out before consulting you? Guess what? MIL is out the price of the ticket, do not care whether it’s refundable or not.

Mother and sister, not MIL and SIL. Funny how you made this mental leap into assuming this terrible behavior must be coming from in laws.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Let me be clear on something: I did not know it would just be my nephew until the night before he arrived. My sister worked everything out with my mom, who paid for his plane ticket.

The ticket was bought without my approval. I had packed the car and had to delay a day to wait for Nephew’s plane to come in.

Again why the hell do you let these relatives walk all over you!! MIL bought a ticket on the wrong day without consulting you? MI
L/SIL bought a ticket to send kid out before consulting you? Guess what? MIL is out the price of the ticket, do not care whether it’s refundable or not.

You need to lay down the law. WESLEY do NOT jump out and scare anyone. You broke the charger, now you cannot charge your phone. He sounds like an absolute disaster.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, don’t be that parent. Show some grace. And remember he is a child.

OP's kids are also children, and deserve to have a nice vacation rather than be bullied for a week.

So what is your solution? OP is there now with her nephew on vacation. She can either be a parental figure or she can let her nephew run amuck.

OP, correct your nephew when he does this and tell him the consequences if he does not stop. And make sure you follow up with the consequence if necessary.

My solution is what you suggest, but there are plenty of other posters telling her to lighten up.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I can’t just leave an 11 yr old stranded at BWI.

No, but you could have read your mother/sister the riot act and demanded they
1). pay for the full cost of the lost vacation day regardless and

2 a.) one of them gets on the soonest available flight to come care for the child or

2 b.) they purchase/reimburse you for his immediate flight home

It sounds like you are a doormat and your family pulled this on you because they knew you wouldn’t stand up for yourself.

Kid is being a kid, you need to be a grown up. Sounds like some easy xtra guidance is all he needs. He is not a nightmare you just don’t know how to guide.

I’d way limit his phone—couple hours in the morning and couple hours in the evening. He doesn’t need to be on screens the entire vacation. Quiet time starts at 8 pm. Give him melatonin if you need to. Get the kids out of the house the bulk of the day and he’ll be too tired to be a nuisance. Sounds like he has a lot of pent up energy that’s being misdirected.

Tell him to stop and give him a consequence. Phone stays in your room at night. Chargers break all the time. No big deal. Make sure there is one thing he will eat. Stop being judgmental.

You can ABSOLUTELY give him rules about not teasing your daughter, not scaring you, and not waking people or using your things.

"Stop teasing Ella. It's hurtful and unacceptable. People won't want to be around you if you make them feel bad. Stop teasing her."
"I lent you my charger out of the goodness of my heart. Your unplugging my phone to plug yours in was unacceptable."
"Nobody uses their phone after 10pm in this house. You woke everyone up being loud on your phone. From now on you will have to give us your phone because you've proven to lack self control."
"Stop scarring me. It's NOT funny. You know, you are not behaving in a way that will make us want to welcome you back. Think about ways you can have fun with people that lets them ALSO have fun."
"Your behavior caused this to drop all over the floor. Go get the mop. Now you need to clean this up. Consequences have actions."

Don't comment on what food he eats other than to tell him "Don't yuck someone else's yum." He's used to different food, he's on vacation, etc. Comment on his behavior. You don't get to make other people upset on vacation. And I'd tell your sister you don't want to vacation with him again because of the way he's teased your daughter relentlessly, his lack of respect for your things, his lack of respect for others' sleep, his repeatedly scaring you even after you asked him to stop, and his lack of respect for other people's items.

You have a sister problem not a nephew problem. Don’t punish him for your sister being a jerk.

You only have 1 charger?
Don’t limit his food, come on.

What are you doing all day, you’re at the beach, but it sounds like you guys are just sitting in your house all day? Since it’s your house are you just taking easy days instead of beach days?

Are you the only adult there?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, don’t be that parent. Show some grace. And remember he is a child.

OP's kids are also children, and deserve to have a nice vacation rather than be bullied for a week.

So what is your solution? OP is there now with her nephew on vacation. She can either be a parental figure or she can let her nephew run amuck.

OP, correct your nephew when he does this and tell him the consequences if he does not stop. And make sure you follow up with the consequence if necessary.