Anonymous wrote:You’re paying? Then you book, and extend the invite afterwords. “We rented a house in Hilton head! There is an extra master bedroom and we would love for you to come, if you want to. Here are the dates!”

This. Or separate accommodations. It's highly likely she will be upset but just be pleasant and emphasize that you needed to book and it was clear you both weren't on the same page. You want to see them there but needed to nail down your plans.

Don’t travel with them.

My MIL pulls this nonsense. She will try to horn in our vacation plans and then completely change them. We were going to SoCal to take DD back to college and had plans to drive down a few days early, go to an event at the beach. Well, MIL tries to glom on with she will fly out to meet us. She offers that the vacation will be her treat. We know that will mean all five of cramming into one small hotel room at a cheap place, no way.

She wants to go to Universal even though we would be 20 minutes from Disneyland. She’s insistent on Universal because she thinks for some reason it’s cheap and Disney is expensive. We know we would end up paying for the tickets. We don’t want to deal with a theme park anyway. She wants us to pick her up at LAX because those flights are cheaper. It’s a 60-90 minute drive one way to get there. She wants to take us to Hearst Castle on the drive back up but we’ll need to leave 2 days earlier than planned because she has an appointment back in the Bay Area set up.

We just said no. None of these logistics work. This is what we are doing, if you want to join us we’ll book a room for you. We will pick you up from one of these two airports only. We are leaving on X date, if that works for you then you are welcome to ride with us if not we can drop you off at one of the two close airports.

She decided not to come and we all had a wonderful time.

Don't go to HH in August. Jellyfish are bad.

Stay here. We loved it.
https://www.redweek.com/resort/P5104-marriotts-surfwatch/timeshare-rentals

3BR villa. right on beach. nice pools. basically a resort, so activities for you or your parents when the baby is sleeping. bike rentals on premise. much cheaper than house.

It will fit all of your needs.

Anonymous wrote:Just tell your mom that your plans have changed.

+1. Stop vacationing together now. This will only get harder as the baby gets older. And I can’t get over 7k for 4 days for only the house.

Anonymous wrote:I would push for booking separate accommodations. You book where you want for 4 days and they can choose where they want to stay and for how long.

OP, you're just so distracted with your golden child nonsense or whatever that you can't see the obvious solution.

"We are doing it this way or we're not going." You have a baby now, your needs have changed, and you are being very generous - both on paying and on excluding them.

We encountered a similar situation with my parents and flights - they are just not used to spending $ (though they are perfectly well off) and approach everything with "why spend X when you could spend Y?" They are retired but we are not constrained by kids school schedules, time off at work, etc. Basically I finally said "we are doing this" and they just shrugged and came along.

Anonymous wrote:You’re paying? Then you book, and extend the invite afterwords. “We rented a house in Hilton head! There is an extra master bedroom and we would love for you to come, if you want to. Here are the dates!”

This