OP - it also feels unfair that mid-stream HS you would lay down this expectation. We'll only pay out of state if you get a high HS gpa.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - not everyone who is successful in life was a top HS student or even a top classroom student. The important thing is they need to have an interest in getting a degree and getting a job when they are done. Do they have summer jobs, are they willing to work? As long as they aren't going to college just to party, then I say you set a budget upfront (as all families should do) in the application process. I think they will do better in college if they are at a place they chose to attend. And as others noted - they are likely to mature in college.

But isn't OP's real concern paying $80,000 or more per year for unmotivated students ?

Let the kids earn the right to attend college/university.

Again, there's a huge, massive difference between saying "no, we won't pay 80k," and saying "no, you don't deserve to attend college."

OP should set a budget, yes. OP should not be telling them they aren't college material.

But if the OP frames this as - we have the $$ to pay for you to go out of state but because you didn't get above X GPA you now are restricted to in state or schools that cost far less than what we would have been willing to pay ---- is a punishment. Student will see it as a punishment - and if they end up a place they don't like will have even less incentive. May also feel bad about themselves. You do not have to be a 3.8 to be smart or successful in life. Life isn't just your HS GPA. I know sooo many people from my HS that didn't have high GPA that are very very successful - not all skills to succeed are measured in a classroom environment.

Anonymous wrote:Some kids do much better when taking classes that interest them. My DD had a 3.4 weighted GPA with a lot of Bs and some Cs. She had a 3.5 GPA in college and got the job she always wanted. Once she was there, it didn't matter that she wasn't great in math and hard sciences - she didn't have to take those classes.

The fact that your kids want to continue their education despite having some academic weaknesses is a GOOD thing. They will likely be able to navigate college if their expectations are reasonable.

I'm 10:57 above and agree with this ^^

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - not everyone who is successful in life was a top HS student or even a top classroom student. The important thing is they need to have an interest in getting a degree and getting a job when they are done. Do they have summer jobs, are they willing to work? As long as they aren't going to college just to party, then I say you set a budget upfront (as all families should do) in the application process. I think they will do better in college if they are at a place they chose to attend. And as others noted - they are likely to mature in college.

But isn't OP's real concern paying $80,000 or more per year for unmotivated students ?

Let the kids earn the right to attend college/university.

Again, there's a huge, massive difference between saying "no, we won't pay 80k," and saying "no, you don't deserve to attend college."

OP should set a budget, yes. OP should not be telling them they aren't college material.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - not everyone who is successful in life was a top HS student or even a top classroom student. The important thing is they need to have an interest in getting a degree and getting a job when they are done. Do they have summer jobs, are they willing to work? As long as they aren't going to college just to party, then I say you set a budget upfront (as all families should do) in the application process. I think they will do better in college if they are at a place they chose to attend. And as others noted - they are likely to mature in college.

But isn't OP's real concern paying $80,000 or more per year for unmotivated students ?

Let the kids earn the right to attend college/university.

Not everyone is motivated by the particular game that is getting a class grade. On the flipside - not everyone who knows how to play the class grade system ends up being great in the workforce.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - not everyone who is successful in life was a top HS student or even a top classroom student. The important thing is they need to have an interest in getting a degree and getting a job when they are done. Do they have summer jobs, are they willing to work? As long as they aren't going to college just to party, then I say you set a budget upfront (as all families should do) in the application process. I think they will do better in college if they are at a place they chose to attend. And as others noted - they are likely to mature in college.

But isn't OP's real concern paying $80,000 or more per year for unmotivated students ?

Let the kids earn the right to attend college/university.

But to go almost anywhere in the future they will need a college degree.

After all of the effort of raising them, why would you sabotage their success now? To save money? To teach them a lesson? Very self-serving and short sighted.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are usually a variety of state schools - I imagine they can get into at least one of them? A few are pretty easy to get into. Are you thinking a couple of years in community college first? A lot of people do that with the goal of transferring to a 4 year school. It’s worth a sit-down with the family to clarify goals.

+1

They are not attending UVA/VATech/W&M/UMD but they can go to Salisbury/Radford/MWU/etc.

However, I would seriously consider if a kid with those GPAs is ready for a 4 year college. 2.7 and 2.9 are really low HS GPA. I'd have them start at a Community college and prove they are serious and can handle it. Then move to a 4 year once they have proven themselves. Otherwise you might just be throwing money away and on a 6 year path to graduation (if at all).

2.7 and 2.9 were not really low at my son’s private parochial school. Most kids were not in honors classes and the grading was much harder than my other kid’s public school. My son wasn’t a top student by any means but those grades got him into several decent colleges.

Some kids do much better when taking classes that interest them. My DD had a 3.4 weighted GPA with a lot of Bs and some Cs. She had a 3.5 GPA in college and got the job she always wanted. Once she was there, it didn't matter that she wasn't great in math and hard sciences - she didn't have to take those classes.

The fact that your kids want to continue their education despite having some academic weaknesses is a GOOD thing. They will likely be able to navigate college if their expectations are reasonable.

Anonymous wrote:OP - not everyone who is successful in life was a top HS student or even a top classroom student. The important thing is they need to have an interest in getting a degree and getting a job when they are done. Do they have summer jobs, are they willing to work? As long as they aren't going to college just to party, then I say you set a budget upfront (as all families should do) in the application process. I think they will do better in college if they are at a place they chose to attend. And as others noted - they are likely to mature in college.

But isn't OP's real concern paying $80,000 or more per year for unmotivated students ?

Let the kids earn the right to attend college/university.

Anonymous wrote:To discourage a 4 yr degree is -almost- evil. You don't have to pay for it. That's different.

No it is not evil--it is common sense.

OP: Why not encourage your kids to work for 2 years before attending school ? Maybe even enlist in one of the armed forces.

Trade school and community college are other options to consider.

OP - not everyone who is successful in life was a top HS student or even a top classroom student. The important thing is they need to have an interest in getting a degree and getting a job when they are done. Do they have summer jobs, are they willing to work? As long as they aren't going to college just to party, then I say you set a budget upfront (as all families should do) in the application process. I think they will do better in college if they are at a place they chose to attend. And as others noted - they are likely to mature in college.

To discourage a 4 yr degree is -almost- evil. You don't have to pay for it. That's different.

Anonymous wrote:I think these are the kind of kids you should pay for because they likely need more help than the straight A kids

But if her kid wants go to an out of state public, how is that getting more help? I could see your argument along these lines for paying for a small/medium private.

(I'll add.....not that I agree with OP's idea to begin with).

Give the kid a budget. This is what we can afford to pay. If the school you want to attend costs more than our budget, you will need scholarships and/or merit aid in order to attend.

There's nothing wrong with having a budget for college. It's wrong not to set expectations accordingly before the search process begins.

I graduated with a 2.0 from highschool. Matured and graduated college with 3.7. Graduate school is a solid 4.0.