Anonymous wrote:Maybe deep down you’re not as happy as you’re pretending to be? You’re working around it in a positive way, but maybe it bugs you that you don’t have the life that other families do?

Yes it’s this.

What upsets you is she doesn’t know you but somehow knew your deepest feeling about this situation and you feel exposed. It also makes you worry that you aren’t hiding it as well you thought if this lady could figure it out.

Add to it that society views being lonely or isolated as something embarrassing and almost a moral failing as if it is suggesting one isn’t a good person if they are lonely.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe deep down you’re not as happy as you’re pretending to be? You’re working around it in a positive way, but maybe it bugs you that you don’t have the life that other families do?

This!

Anonymous wrote:You know Mary ... I should have spoken up before, "I enjoy the couple evenings a week with the house to myself. I enjoy WFH. We have teens so parenting isn’t what it used to be. I feel fulfilled."

Overly defensive

She struck a nerve with you.

I got like this yesterday. I told a friend that I decided to stay in and chill instead of watch local fireworks by myself and maybe deal with rain. He told me he was sorry and started coming up with a list of fun things for me to do. It kinda ticked me off. I had a choice and I made the one that made for the best evening. I hear you, OP. It is that suggestion that there is something wrong with this situation. There is not.

Anonymous wrote:Your don’t like pity, or someone looking down on you. Nobody does.

Yes, I think this is it. When someone pities you, they are implying your life is out of your control and you're helpless. Pity also implies they think their own situation must be better than yours.

My husband has worked nights, with several days off, for almost our whole marriage. He's changing jobs and will work a regular schedule here soon. He's so relieved and I think it will be good for his mental health. But I'm actually kind of dreading losing my alone time on his work nights.

I get it. I hate it when people are like that. Some people really do this as a way of insulting you.

Your don’t like pity, or someone looking down on you. Nobody does.

Maybe deep down you’re not as happy as you’re pretending to be? You’re working around it in a positive way, but maybe it bugs you that you don’t have the life that other families do?

You know Mary ... I should have spoken up before, "I enjoy the couple evenings a week with the house to myself. I enjoy WFH. We have teens so parenting isn’t what it used to be. I feel fulfilled."

I mean, it does sound sad. Are you okay with it or just deal because of the money or other things? I hated when my husband had to work slightly less worse shifts during COVID. I wouldn't want that back.