A friend of my ex fell for one of those at a night club.

The guy supposedly pointed at her and said it to his friend, loud enough for her to hear, "that's my future ex-girlfriend."

She, of course, ran up to him.

Anonymous wrote:The guy who negs is insecure and/or an a**hole underneath the exterior.

Yeah, thinly-veiled, too. If you're gonna lead with disrespect, where would I realistically expect you to go from there?

Hard pass.

Negging is absolutely not flirting or playful banter. Playful banter is playful banter. Negging is insulting women to make a woman doubt herself. It’s definitely abusive and only abusive people would use insults to try and woo a woman. If you think you are flirting while you’re negging, you need some serious therapy and to rethink some life choices.

So what if men do this ?

That’s a hard pass on that book. Here’s the thing, I picked up dating tips and they 100 percent work. Be fit, wear bright colors, smile and laugh a lot. It’s not hard

Some of it comes naturally. I know I have RBF, so I remember to smile easy when I can.
So what it men do this???

Read The Game by Neil Strauss. I read this and can't believe I did. It's part of that pickup culture or whatever they call it and Mystery is the guru. They "peacock" too. Strauss describes learning the techniques and negging is one. I think negging would work on many women who are insecure and those are probably the women who would fall for the whole shtick and go home with someone. I think the whole thing is stupid because if you go out often with the intention of picking up someone, dress up (peacocking), etc., and talk to people, you'll luck out because you're out there trying. I was really grossed out by the book by the end of it. It gave him confidence but also cluelessness.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met Mystery at The Reef in Adams Morgan once! He was very tall and his coat was furry. It was fun.

I love the random misplaced posts. We should guess where they really belong.
Thread on waking up to find your parents having sex? (Kidding, sounds cosplay).

It’s not misplaced at all

The guy who negs is insecure and/or an a**hole underneath the exterior.

Anonymous wrote:Negging isn't new. I remember it being around when I was in college and I'm 38. It's a low grade insult meant to take a woman down a peg so she's feeling insecure and more welcome to the guy hitting on her. The purpose is to do it in a way that she doesn't realize it's insulting. The one I will always remember is a guy telling my friend "wow. I really like your dress. You're a little over dressed for this place but you look great". It's a subtle little dig that she didn't even pick up on. I wish I could say it didn't work. But looking back it worked on us all the time. Maybe the definition has changed in the last 15+ years.

This, to me, is the best example. It is also the sort of thing that can subtly chisel away at someone over years. Nothing is every good enough. A one night stand. Fine. But marrying someone like this?? I have seen this and it is generally the woman who slowly gets chiseled away at AND the guy stops respecting over time. It might seem harmless to some of you, but it really isn't.

The only good response so far is to say: You're negging me? Seriously, you're not very good at it. OR, if you find it hot then short term. Do not marry this guy.

Anonymous wrote:“Negging” is not insulting someone, although a lot of foolish guys interpret it that way. It’s a comment that is ambiguous and is the opening move in an attempt to start some banter. Walking up to a woman in a bar and saying “you’re fat” is not negging, it’s abusive and insulting. Walking up to a woman and saying “that outfit is….um….daring”. Might be. Or whatever. Negging is playful, not insulting, and if you are doing it any other way you are doing it wrong. Yes, one might say that just sounds like ordinary flirting, and they would be mostly correct in doing so, explicit concepts like “negging” are basically remedial education for those who missed the memo the first time and need some explicit instruction.

Yeah being “playful” with a woman you’ve never met by suggesting she’s not dressed appropriately is absolutely the opening gambit of someone who treats women with respect.

There’s nothing your example does that the same sentence without the “um” doesn’t. The point of the “um” is to introduce uncertainty and self-consciousness. Why is that something you need for “banter”?

Anonymous wrote:Fine.. you are not kidding
Much ado about nothing
Taming of the shrew
prob the one about the fairy (name escapes me)

I have only read about 12-13 thu

Have fun!

Midsummer Night’s Dream?

Anonymous wrote:Fine.. you are not kidding
Much ado about nothing
Taming of the shrew
prob the one about the fairy (name escapes me)

I have only read about 12-13 thu

Have fun!

Thanks! Seriously. I preferred the tragedies and avoided the comedies in HA and college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s supposed to make you crave their approval. They think it makes them powerful and in charge because they can manipulate you.

Personally it’s a huge turn off and the people that do it are not fit partners. Very immature.

I like it when people poke fun at me. The guy I am seeing does this. It’s TOTALLY different from the way my ex would do it. My ex would do it when I was already upset. This fella does it differently as I was to raise another perspective and to point out when I am being too full of my self. It’s all about intent.

Gentle teasing where a guy points out something about you that you maybe hadn’t realized or thought about, but he’s paying attention and not afraid to say it and he says it at just the right time and in a way that’s funny - it’s playful and sexy.

Fine.. you are not kidding
Much ado about nothing
Taming of the shrew
prob the one about the fairy (name escapes me)

I have only read about 12-13 thu

Have fun!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So watch (or read) Shakespeare. Same thing

Some people are talented at well timed banter. Some people are jerks. Lady gets to decide what she likes !

Omg - which play is the best for this? I have just figured out what I am doing with the rest of this hot Sunday.

I think you are kidding. I would say all of the comedies

Really? I’ve always picked up on the sexual banter but never the insults.