Anonymous
Post 07/05/2024 09:41     Subject: I'm not ready for my oldest to leave
Anonymous wrote:I am so ready. I feel like my kids cannot wait to leave and are so sick of us. It's upsetting. I am hoping we will miss each other when they are away.


Why would you post this in response to someone who just dropped their child off at college? Sociopathy?
Anonymous
Post 07/04/2024 18:01     Subject: I'm not ready for my oldest to leave
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am so ready. I feel like my kids cannot wait to leave and are so sick of us. It's upsetting. I am hoping we will miss each other when they are away.


You sure will miss each other. This age requires physical distance and emotional independence so kids can grow into self sufficient adults.


Was it hard before that? Did you feel "not close" to your teens?


DP. DH and I thought we'd have no ongoing relationship with DC because the HS years were so strained. There was intense separation from our teen toward homelife. The first trip home, DC was still kinda cool, but after first semester on, DC seems really comfortable having both life at school and being happy to be home. Our relationship definitely rebounded.


That's good to hear. For about a year now ds has been all about being independent. He has moments of being nice and caring, but it is fleeting. He mostly wants to be out, doing his thing, or he needs us for something specific.
Anonymous
Post 07/04/2024 15:43     Subject: I'm not ready for my oldest to leave
Me too!
Anonymous
Post 07/04/2024 15:39     Subject: I'm not ready for my oldest to leave
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am so ready. I feel like my kids cannot wait to leave and are so sick of us. It's upsetting. I am hoping we will miss each other when they are away.


You sure will miss each other. This age requires physical distance and emotional independence so kids can grow into self sufficient adults.


Was it hard before that? Did you feel "not close" to your teens?


DP. DH and I thought we'd have no ongoing relationship with DC because the HS years were so strained. There was intense separation from our teen toward homelife. The first trip home, DC was still kinda cool, but after first semester on, DC seems really comfortable having both life at school and being happy to be home. Our relationship definitely rebounded.
Anonymous
Post 07/04/2024 13:48     Subject: I'm not ready for my oldest to leave
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am so ready. I feel like my kids cannot wait to leave and are so sick of us. It's upsetting. I am hoping we will miss each other when they are away.


You sure will miss each other. This age requires physical distance and emotional independence so kids can grow into self sufficient adults.


Was it hard before that? Did you feel "not close" to your teens?
Anonymous
Post 07/04/2024 13:30     Subject: I'm not ready for my oldest to leave
Anonymous wrote:I am so ready. I feel like my kids cannot wait to leave and are so sick of us. It's upsetting. I am hoping we will miss each other when they are away.


You sure will miss each other. This age requires physical distance and emotional independence so kids can grow into self sufficient adults.
Anonymous
Post 07/04/2024 11:33     Subject: I'm not ready for my oldest to leave
I am so ready. I feel like my kids cannot wait to leave and are so sick of us. It's upsetting. I am hoping we will miss each other when they are away.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2024 18:25     Subject: I'm not ready for my oldest to leave
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP. Your post shouldn't have been moved. An academy is a college setting, and more importantly, your post was about saying goodbye to your oldest at school. It nearly broke me in the drive home. I sobbed. Fortunately, time does help once you see them thriving and becoming more sure of themselves. Also when they come home you get to see that they're still your same kid, drinking all the milk and leaving their oversized shoes right inside the front door.

It'll be OK, OP. It's impressive he's going to an academy.


I think that's the worst part - I know it'll be ok. And I'm so proud of him. I just wish this blip was over and we could move on to whatever fun there is of having a kid in college.


Pp. The teary days are part of it. Stay strong.


Thank you. He's gone now, and like you, I sobbed on the way home. I hope he doesn't know. I mean, how would he, but you know.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2024 00:18     Subject: I'm not ready for my oldest to leave
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP. Your post shouldn't have been moved. An academy is a college setting, and more importantly, your post was about saying goodbye to your oldest at school. It nearly broke me in the drive home. I sobbed. Fortunately, time does help once you see them thriving and becoming more sure of themselves. Also when they come home you get to see that they're still your same kid, drinking all the milk and leaving their oversized shoes right inside the front door.

It'll be OK, OP. It's impressive he's going to an academy.


I think that's the worst part - I know it'll be ok. And I'm so proud of him. I just wish this blip was over and we could move on to whatever fun there is of having a kid in college.


Pp. The teary days are part of it. Stay strong.
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2024 21:52     Subject: I'm not ready for my oldest to leave
Anonymous wrote:Get a job


Not OP, but I've been working for the past 10 years when my oldest left. I cried and was pretty depressed.
Yeah, it's possible to be a working professional and still be depressed about a child leaving home.
Even though I know I'm depressed about ending the mothering phase of life (and I'm very excited for my kids opportunities actually), it's a hard change. And that's what it is, change but a very abrupt change.
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2024 21:47     Subject: I'm not ready for my oldest to leave
Anonymous wrote:I was so happy, OP, that my oldest decided to attend a local university! He came back for all the Holidays and all our birthdays, didn't have to change his doctors, and even attended some of his siblings' musical performances.


I am happy for you, but this is a strange post in response to someone who's sad their kid is going to a school where they won't have contact with their parents for at least the next seven weeks.
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2024 21:44     Subject: I'm not ready for my oldest to leave
Anonymous wrote:OP. Your post shouldn't have been moved. An academy is a college setting, and more importantly, your post was about saying goodbye to your oldest at school. It nearly broke me in the drive home. I sobbed. Fortunately, time does help once you see them thriving and becoming more sure of themselves. Also when they come home you get to see that they're still your same kid, drinking all the milk and leaving their oversized shoes right inside the front door.

It'll be OK, OP. It's impressive he's going to an academy.


I think that's the worst part - I know it'll be ok. And I'm so proud of him. I just wish this blip was over and we could move on to whatever fun there is of having a kid in college.
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2024 11:31     Subject: I'm not ready for my oldest to leave
OP. Your post shouldn't have been moved. An academy is a college setting, and more importantly, your post was about saying goodbye to your oldest at school. It nearly broke me in the drive home. I sobbed. Fortunately, time does help once you see them thriving and becoming more sure of themselves. Also when they come home you get to see that they're still your same kid, drinking all the milk and leaving their oversized shoes right inside the front door.

It'll be OK, OP. It's impressive he's going to an academy.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2024 22:01     Subject: I'm not ready for my oldest to leave
Anonymous wrote:The military is a whole other thing. You need support from that community Op. The rest of us don't really understand. There's a lot at play here.


It's college, which is why I originally posted in the college forum. Yes, it's a specific kind, but everyone else should understand what it's like dropping them off on that first day and crying on the way home, no?
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2024 21:43     Subject: I'm not ready for my oldest to leave
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I know I'm not the only one thinking it, but July 1 might as well be tomorrow, and I'm not just ready. Everything will be ok, right? (Please be kind, DCUM.)


I’m very sorry this got moved away from the College forum. My husband and I had no idea how hard sending our DC off would hit us. I think it’s an important thing to warn parents about and talk about.

Once your youngest leaves, you’ll move to a whole new stage of life.


I don't know why it was moved. I've seen tons of similar threads in the college forum. Perhaps the people who reported the post think he's enlisting instead of heading to an academy?