Oh yes though — we do plan to pay for (public) college, as we know that honestly is likely the best way to set someone up for financial success.

I was terrible with money. My parents are too. Luckily my husband isn’t.

What set me up was when I needed a car (my $1500 clunker broke in middle of the highway) instead of my parents giving me money outright, they paid for the (used) car from their HELOC and essentially set up a car loan at the bank of mom. I paid them every month (scheduled for 5 years, with interest). When I was in a place where my income had increased and my partner could take on more living expenses, I did 2 things:
1. Take some money I was making and auto-saving it every paycheck in an (what was then) ING account.
2. The debt snowball that meant I doubled my car payment to the parents to pay it off early (alas, no savings on interest) and then rolled that money into settling outstanding debts, and then into savings.

If my parents had given me the money outright, I would have blown it. Maybe because we never were rich enough to give (really? $18k/year, $100k down payment?) gifts like that I learned how this works the hard way.

Not sure how to replicate that.

Things we have done:
Weekly allowance starting at $5 a week in 1st grade.
Talked with them about finances and cost of things throughout childhood and now into adulthood
Saved for their college so they could graduate without loans (R&B, tuition fees, fees, setting up room with toiletries, travel)
They were responsible for spending money from about middle school forward
Bought a used car (three year old CRV for one and handed down 4 year old rav4 to other) the summer they needed one for internship in college)
Since they started earning money, we have done their ROTHs

Allowed them to live at home post college to save (first one), while they look for a job (second one). First one lived at home for about 2 1/2 years and saved quite a bit; second one is still at home currently looking for a job.

Things we may do:
Once we sell house to move to our chosen retirement location, we may give them each $100k for a future house down payment.
Pay for part of a wedding - if there ever is one.
Contribution to a 529 if they ever have a child

We have a will and plan to redo it once settled in retirement. We have a plan to transfer as much as we can from regular 401ks to ROTH IRAs.

Both kids are fiscally responsible and lean towards frugality. (Apples fell near trees)