Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Tit-for-tat is the dominant strategy when dealing with women.

2. I had someone cancel a lunch date at the last minute because her son returned unexpectedly from college and she wanted to make lunch for him. I told her I'm never seeing her again (I had taken off work to go meet her for lunch, using valuable leave time).

If that’s your dominant strategy then she picked up on that - your hatred for women.

If my kid came home unexpectedly from college, I'm visiting with him. If you don't understand that, you aren't worth the time.

I also don't understand why you had to take leave for a lunch. Did she know that? What kind of job do you have?

Time baby son learns mommy has a life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been seeing a guy for about 2 months now. I’m in healthcare and work extra hours often to help pay down student loans. A co-worker went into early labor and I covered 2 extra shifts. I’ve had to cancel on him twice - once on the second date, on last night. Today he asks if I’m actually interested in him, or if I’m using work as an excuse to not see him. I explained the issue and my current lifestyle, and he said he responded happy and ready for a date, but he texted me at 6 to cancel our date for tomorrow night with no explanation. What is going on here?

I think he couldn’t get over the fact that you twice prioritized work over your relationship. He’s going to find someone who is less of a flake.

Women should prioritize work over a date. Men do it all the time and the world has no problem with it.

You are giving advice for another activity. You are not dating.

Most people are trying to get l-#%d in a loving and consistent and supportive fashion. With respect to boot. Then if a relationship comes out of it, you are lucky.

It is nice that this man did something in the middle of the day. Sounds like they had a disconnect. I would not jump all over him

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Tit-for-tat is the dominant strategy when dealing with women.

2. I had someone cancel a lunch date at the last minute because her son returned unexpectedly from college and she wanted to make lunch for him. I told her I'm never seeing her again (I had taken off work to go meet her for lunch, using valuable leave time).

If that’s your dominant strategy then she picked up on that - your hatred for women.

If my kid came home unexpectedly from college, I'm visiting with him. If you don't understand that, you aren't worth the time.

I also don't understand why you had to take leave for a lunch. Did she know that? What kind of job do you have?

Some doctors can not just up and leave the hospital shift . A LOT of jobs are like this . A lot of shift work and people need to cover etc .

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been seeing a guy for about 2 months now. I’m in healthcare and work extra hours often to help pay down student loans. A co-worker went into early labor and I covered 2 extra shifts. I’ve had to cancel on him twice - once on the second date, on last night. Today he asks if I’m actually interested in him, or if I’m using work as an excuse to not see him. I explained the issue and my current lifestyle, and he said he responded happy and ready for a date, but he texted me at 6 to cancel our date for tomorrow night with no explanation. What is going on here?

I think he couldn’t get over the fact that you twice prioritized work over your relationship. He’s going to find someone who is less of a flake.

Women should prioritize work over a date. Men do it all the time and the world has no problem with it.

Anonymous wrote:I’m
Not judging you for your decisions but the reality is you’re putting working OT ahead of him. You’re allowed to, but he’s allowed to not be ok with that.
Move on.

She's completely right and being responsible in chasing the ot. I'm proud of you op for doing what you have to do to deal with your debt.

Remember she isn't working ot because she wants an expensive toy. She's being fiscally responsible.
You go op.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Tit-for-tat is the dominant strategy when dealing with women.

2. I had someone cancel a lunch date at the last minute because her son returned unexpectedly from college and she wanted to make lunch for him. I told her I'm never seeing her again (I had taken off work to go meet her for lunch, using valuable leave time).

WTAF?! You canceled on her because she wanted to spend time with her son? Valuable leave time LOLOLOLOL. So glad I'm not in today's dating world.

College kid can wait two hours if mom had a period commitment, no?

I agree with this. I know A LOT of moms who are obsessed with their kids (I am a mom, btw). They don’t date. One of my single pals is gorgeous and like this. So baffling to me.

So who knows, the mr-tit-for-tat-fella could have dodged something he didn’t want.

Incel bs.

It's not obsessive to want to visit with your kid when they come home from college. It's gross that you think you should be more important. You sound like one of those weirdo fundamentalist guys who expects the woman to put you first at all times. Gross. Women should never put a date ahead of their kids. Dads I know do the same.

A good parent knows their kids are the priority. You're weird if you don't get that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Tit-for-tat is the dominant strategy when dealing with women.

2. I had someone cancel a lunch date at the last minute because her son returned unexpectedly from college and she wanted to make lunch for him. I told her I'm never seeing her again (I had taken off work to go meet her for lunch, using valuable leave time).

If that’s your dominant strategy then she picked up on that - your hatred for women.

If my kid came home unexpectedly from college, I'm visiting with him. If you don't understand that, you aren't worth the time.

I also don't understand why you had to take leave for a lunch. Did she know that? What kind of job do you have?

Wait, op, you canceled several dates, one was the second date with this guy, and one was last night because a coworker went into labor and you had to pick up 2 extra shifts?
Was the coworker also the reason you canceled the second date, or did you just not want to be on that date?
If this had been one event, he’d be a jerk for not understanding. Since it isn’t the first date you canceled, and now there’s another one, he’s right to not want to see you anymore. Either you don’t like him enough to make him a priority, or you need to learn to speak your boss’s language. If your boss doesn’t like anybody dating, (I had a boss like that), then you figure out what the boss does like. If sports is your boss’s thing, then you now have baseball tickets, you can work some extra unplanned overtime, but wow, boss the O’s do have some good pitchers this year. Then go see your boyfriend or anybody else you like.
Bottom line, op, at least he canceled on you. If you do want to see him, level, “I was wrong to cancel our second date, and I won’t cancel anymore”. If you aren’t willing to do that, then don’t be surprised to find that he’s done with you. You have the right to your work environment and to work as much as you’d like, he’s got the right to decide what you are offering isn’t what he wants. A couple months is too soon for anybody to put up with this. It’s hard enough with a marriage where all the weekend work will literally go into a joint account, or you have the warm fuzzy of shared goals. Now, all this guy has is a girl who for whatever reason isn’t able to see him. He’s being a healthy guy, op, you just don’t like that he did the same thing to you that you did to him, in which case stop the behavior and treat the next guy you go out with better.

Do you know WHY he cancelled?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Tit-for-tat is the dominant strategy when dealing with women.

2. I had someone cancel a lunch date at the last minute because her son returned unexpectedly from college and she wanted to make lunch for him. I told her I'm never seeing her again (I had taken off work to go meet her for lunch, using valuable leave time).

WTAF?! You canceled on her because she wanted to spend time with her son? Valuable leave time LOLOLOLOL. So glad I'm not in today's dating world.

College kid can wait two hours if mom had a period commitment, no?

I agree with this. I know A LOT of moms who are obsessed with their kids (I am a mom, btw). They don’t date. One of my single pals is gorgeous and like this. So baffling to me.

So who knows, the mr-tit-for-tat-fella could have dodged something he didn’t want.

I’m
Not judging you for your decisions but the reality is you’re putting working OT ahead of him. You’re allowed to, but he’s allowed to not be ok with that.
Move on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Tit-for-tat is the dominant strategy when dealing with women.

2. I had someone cancel a lunch date at the last minute because her son returned unexpectedly from college and she wanted to make lunch for him. I told her I'm never seeing her again (I had taken off work to go meet her for lunch, using valuable leave time).

WTAF?! You canceled on her because she wanted to spend time with her son? Valuable leave time LOLOLOLOL. So glad I'm not in today's dating world.

College kid can wait two hours if mom had a period commitment, no?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cancel whenever it’s convenient for you but expect him to jump when you say let’s go. Let him go find someone interested.

OP here. I canceled twice because of work commitments.

He is playing games. Do not go out with him.

Anonymous wrote:Strong tit for tat vibes, but since he gave you an opportunity to explain why you canceled you should at least do the same. If there was no real reason, jump ship. Two months is not enough of an investment to have to work through BS already.

This. No more advice needed, OP.