Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a defense mechanism. If I reject these schools first, they can’t reject me. I have seen parents say all kinds of cra@p when their kid had zero chance or the stats for a T10 or even T20.

DD has an uw 4.0, as many APs as her school will permit, and a 1500+ SAT. She has zero chance at a T10/T20 because she’s a white girl from the DMV, full-pay but not donor class, non-athlete, non-legacy. The door was closed before she was born by forces over which she has no control. Sure it’s a defense mechanism. I am attempting to defend my child against the belief, prevalent in Ivy admissions offices, that her race, gender, class, and hometown make her worthless.

You sound like a fun person with a good outlook on the world.

Anonymous wrote:Whatever works for your child.

My child liked small schools and will be attending a school of just 1200 students. It had everything SHE wanted.

After her big public high school experience, I think this will be a nice change for her.

She applied to schools of anywhere from 600 students to 20k+. But as I said, she was most comfortable in the smaller settings.

I attended a school of 3600 students, yet also had division 1 sports. I had a great 4 years. I had smaller classes, a campus just big enough where I didn’t know everyone.

I am curious...this sounds like a Davidson or University of Richmond...is there are a sports culture at this school? Meaning, do many students attend the football, basketball and other games even though for the most part they aren't ever playing Duke in basketball (maybe Davidson does?) or Michigan in football or seriously competing for the National title?

Trying to figure out which schools have good spirit vs. other schools where 90% of the kids don't even know a football game or basketball game is even happening if you ask while the actual game is happening.

Anonymous wrote:It’s a defense mechanism. If I reject these schools first, they can’t reject me. I have seen parents say all kinds of cra@p when their kid had zero chance or the stats for a T10 or even T20.

DD has an uw 4.0, as many APs as her school will permit, and a 1500+ SAT. She has zero chance at a T10/T20 because she’s a white girl from the DMV, full-pay but not donor class, non-athlete, non-legacy. The door was closed before she was born by forces over which she has no control. Sure it’s a defense mechanism. I am attempting to defend my child against the belief, prevalent in Ivy admissions offices, that her race, gender, class, and hometown make her worthless.

It’s a defense mechanism. If I reject these schools first, they can’t reject me. I have seen parents say all kinds of cra@p when their kid had zero chance or the stats for a T10 or even T20.

OP - it’s good your kid can think independently and do his own research instead of blindly following some list put out by a former weekly magazine with its ever changing rank methodology. Fit is always more important, at least for the student.

Anonymous wrote:There is a lot to be said for smaller colleges, but an Ivy? No. Students are too handpicked. The culture is too manufactured, like products in a gift shop. The collective intensity, anxiety and insecurity of students is too much.

So to answer your question, if your kid is interested is a big public flagship - wonderful. Smart kid.

Not all of them are the same. Brown makes every happiest college list (top 10).

Zero interest in the Ivies.

My children are seeking a university education, not an indoctrination.

Anonymous wrote:People should trust that their kids know themselves. Not try to force them into a school that fits the parents fantasy if what would be ideal.

Practice humility, and respect for your child’s nascent autonomy.

I really appreciate this post! It's my kids future, not my own. I truly believe that if your kid picks a university for themselves, they have a bigger stake in achieving their goals.

There is a lot to be said for smaller colleges, but an Ivy? No. Students are too handpicked. The culture is too manufactured, like products in a gift shop. The collective intensity, anxiety and insecurity of students is too much.

So to answer your question, if your kid is interested is a big public flagship - wonderful. Smart kid.

People should trust that their kids know themselves. Not try to force them into a school that fits the parents fantasy if what would be ideal.

Practice humility, and respect for your child’s nascent autonomy.

Anonymous wrote:Ugh so tired of hearing colleges described as rah rah. Stupid.

It's not really that stupid. I went to a rah rah type of school and have a DC who is very much not, and I don't think it'd be a good fit for them. Although, at the huge rah rah public universities, I'm sure there are plenty of people who aren't into the sports fandom and tailgating scene. In any case, this label does serve a good purpose in describing a certain aspect of a student's college experience.

Anonymous wrote: UCLA also has vast resources, it's just that students need to take the initiative in seeking them out. That doesn't work for every student, but it works for many.

The having to seek issue is part of the reason my child chose the smaller private vs the larger public

Anonymous wrote:I wish mine would consider T20 schools b/c they have the stats for the lottery tickets, but they aren't interested.

Well - remember that many have stats for lottery ticket and don't hit the jackpot. So there's that. I'd also brace yourself for difficulty of admissions even outside of t20 for high stats kids. (this is not meant to be snarky...just a head's up)

One of mine rejected higher ranked full pay schools and lower ranked full ride schools for a half pay T25, couldn't be happier.

My kid is attending one of the first colleges he visited. He chose it after being invited to official visits (paid by the school) to T20 schools. He couldn’t see a meaningful difference in the student experience or outcomes for what he wanted to study.

I will admit that the only thing that makes me cringe is all the rude comments from random relatives but I’m proud of him for ignoring the hype and going where he wants to go.