Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They either have young kids or they say it to make you feel better.
Having a more or less independent child without major issues is truly great.

I have little kids and it really is challenging and can be hard. But I’ve also never been happier. I do not mention this to my friends w/o kids though. It just feels like it would be braggy or somehow be putting down their choices. Also, it’s hard to communicate the deep love you have for your child and how much the experience can open up your life. When hanging out with childless people I find it better to nod and crack a joke about not going on vacation or something.

Anonymous wrote:They either have young kids or they say it to make you feel better.
Having a more or less independent child without major issues is truly great.

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for you. At the end of your life what will you have? Sure a fancy car and vacations are nice. But truly you will have no one in the end. I visit my parents every day in their "fancy" nursing home. Those without kids are abused and left alone.

Anonymous wrote:As the title says. We don’t hate kids or anything, but we have encountered a number of instances over the last several years of our close friends and coworkers blurting out loud with very frank off the cuff remarks that we did it right and that they basically regret having their kids due to stress, finances, and lack of freedom. One coworker recently asked what we were doing for vacation this year, and I told her that we are going to Europe. She let out a loooong sigh and said, “I wish I were you and did it right.” I didn’t know how to respond and said nothing. Another family friend always, alllllways talks about how much better off he thinks he would have been if he didn’t have his two sons (one has a disability that requires intense care). I have no doubt he loves his sons, but I think he is definitely convinced his life would have been better (and definitely easier) without them.


But what is with so many parents seemingly regretting having their children these days? And not only that, but blurting the quiet part out loud is now acceptable? It’s also uncomfortable to tell us this simply because we don’t have kids. I don’t know what to say to you when you tell me you regret the biggest decision you made in your life, which is to produce another human.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're just trying to be nice to you. It's not that deep. They feel sorry for you and are overcompensating by stage moaning about their kids.

The above sounds mean but I think it’s often true.

It could come off as rude/weird/annoying to talk about how much you love your children and how deeply gratifying the experience of being a parent is. Easier and less potentially offensive to roll your eyes about how kids are little hellions.

I genuinely hope my childless friends are happy with their lifestyle but i seriously can not relate in any way to making that life decision.

Anonymous wrote:They're just trying to be nice to you. It's not that deep. They feel sorry for you and are overcompensating by stage moaning about their kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh, I think people are being too harsh with OP. I think there are indeed people who regret having kids or at least the hard parts of having them. Sometimes, it's a temporary blip but sometimes longer. When they say these things to you, you could ask them, "Really? Why do you say that?" out of genuine curiosity. Or maybe just chuckle and say, "Yes, being DINKS has its perks!"

There is more than a whiff of judgment in OPs post about producing humans without much care or thought. People are setting the record straight and it seems to be pretty universal that nobody actually regrets parenting, they just say something nice so OP doesn't feel like they're missing out.

Anonymous wrote:Be honest OP: you're really 33 and have another decade of fertility, and you're likely going to have children.

I wish the media/socials would stop overusing the word DINKs and limit it to the people who are truly DINKs for life. ie, they're 55 years old, or both partners have had tubal ligation/hysterectomy/vasectomy.

(yes, I know families can be formed in many ways and vasectomy can be reverse. but at least this is a tangible sign you're deeply committed rather than an attention seeking Gen Z)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh, I think people are being too harsh with OP. I think there are indeed people who regret having kids or at least the hard parts of having them. Sometimes, it's a temporary blip but sometimes longer. When they say these things to you, you could ask them, "Really? Why do you say that?" out of genuine curiosity. Or maybe just chuckle and say, "Yes, being DINKS has its perks!"

There is more than a whiff of judgment in OPs post about producing humans without much care or thought. People are setting the record straight and it seems to be pretty universal that nobody actually regrets parenting, they just say something nice so OP doesn't feel like they're missing out.

Anonymous wrote:Eh, I think people are being too harsh with OP. I think there are indeed people who regret having kids or at least the hard parts of having them. Sometimes, it's a temporary blip but sometimes longer. When they say these things to you, you could ask them, "Really? Why do you say that?" out of genuine curiosity. Or maybe just chuckle and say, "Yes, being DINKS has its perks!"