Anonymous
Post 06/03/2024 18:55     Subject: Rising 7th grade daughter- clothing ideas
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
OP, I am not sure why other posters are giving you such a hard time. I think your post sounds sweet and perfectly fine.

+1



NP. OPs question is perfectly fine. It’s the suggestions from others that she needs to go on a Lululemon and Nike micro shorts shopping spree that people are balking about


+1
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2024 18:33     Subject: Rising 7th grade daughter- clothing ideas
Anonymous wrote:
OP, I am not sure why other posters are giving you such a hard time. I think your post sounds sweet and perfectly fine.

+1



NP. OPs question is perfectly fine. It’s the suggestions from others that she needs to go on a Lululemon and Nike micro shorts shopping spree that people are balking about
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2024 17:31     Subject: Rising 7th grade daughter- clothing ideas
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am hoping to get my rising 7th grader a little wardrobe refresh over the summer. She is finally connecting with a nice group of girls after a couple years of struggling socially, and after a lot of effort on her end to get out of her comfort zone. My dd does not care about fashion trends - she still wears flip sequin shirts and native shoes, for example. She doesn't wear hoodies or leggings or crop tops or jeans. I am glad she is not motivated by status symbols, but I was wondering if there were some things I could get for her that might mix her taste with current trends. DH wants to get her a couple band t shirts bc they are starting to bond over a few groups, so we may start there. She likes flare pants/ joggers and loves soft fabrics and graphics. I would love suggestions for pieces and even more so - outfits she can put together. She is slender- still mostly in children's Large sizes.


Oh wow, OP, there is so much to unpack here, but please, please, please stop pushing your child to be friend with kids that aren't necessarily her people. My mom was a lot like you and I really hated this about her. She has always been so focused on status and I was just not made to be the kid that she wanted. Don't be that mom. Let her do her own thing.


OP here- I get it. I do not need her to be "cool." She is bummed when she sits alone at lunch, though she is so sweet- "it's OK, Mom, I am reading a really good book." The girls she has gathered with are all very socially on the same level. She invited them for a pool party for the end of school (this was her big moment where she asked people over she had never socialized with) and they were all playing pretend games and four square. They were very polite and exchanged book recommendations. They sent thank you notes after. This is not a "cool" group of girls. My daughter would not wear many of the things mentioned, but she also hates shopping and asks me to just pick things for her. She would not wear jean shorts or crocs or white sneakers or crop tops but I am just looking for ideas that would fall in the range of things she does like.


I'm the first PP who said to tread lightly. I can see that you mean well, OP, and appreciate more what you are doing after your thoughtful replies. I guess I would still say, she did make friends with this group, dressing the way she does, so maybe don't worry too much about it. I just wouldn't bring attention to it and make her self-conscious about it and especially not mentally tie her wardrobe to her sitting alone at lunch reading a book. I do think it's a good idea to take the suggestions here and from the photos of classmates and buy the things that look like something she would wear, and of course return what she doesn't like. But I would really make an effort not to turn it into a big thing.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2024 17:22     Subject: Rising 7th grade daughter- clothing ideas
Anonymous wrote:


Honesty I would tread lightly. This is reading to me like you are trying to get her to fit in with a popular group of girls. She's a tween, so if fashion becomes important to her, she'll let you know.


OP here. I hear you. A lot of these suggestions would be outside of her comfort zone, but I will ask her about them. The girls in her group are all a little awkward, but friendly, half still don't have cell phones which I kind of feel like is a proxy for girls not being too grown up, so I think it could be a good friend group for her. She does not aspire to be popular but just accepted in a group. When I hear about the days she eats lunch at a table by herself, I admittedly want to help with some social engineering. Right now my guidance on appearance has been limited to washing hair, brushing hair, and using deodorant, so I want to add a few more pieces of advice about being put together (rather than on-trend necessarily). I agree to tread lightly - it is important to her that she can be true to herself and certainly I don't want to jeopardize that.


This is true for a lot of us. Your dd found a group she likes and you want to help her transition into middle school clothes.

A lot of posters were just suggesting what they know or what they heard of Just try and help her pick out age appropriate clothing. Nobody needs to buy Lululemon shorts when there are dozens of identical options. Try some athletic shorts on and pick the most flattering style. Same with ripped denim shorts. Go to a Nike store and look at the options for sneakers Ask the clerks at teen stores for help.

Anonymous
Post 06/03/2024 17:21     Subject: Rising 7th grade daughter- clothing ideas
I’m the PP that said not to call clothing pieces. Your DD sounds young for her age but I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. My DD is also young for 6th grade. She loves to play four square at our pool and actually gets in and plays still, she’s not trying to look cool laying in the sun.
My kids look is sporty, doesn’t sound like that’s your kid though, maybe ask a mom of one of the friends where they shop?
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2024 16:58     Subject: Re:Rising 7th grade daughter- clothing ideas
Think about a Stitch Fix membership. She can swipe through all sorts of preferences this way and they'll send a box with her size. My rising 8th grader has just about grown out of it, but it was helpful while she was figuring out her 'aesthetic' (the kids use that word - somewhat incorrectly and it drives me nuts!) but it makes shopping easier for non-shoppers.

Just be mindful of the return window for anything she doesn't like.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2024 16:27     Subject: Rising 7th grade daughter- clothing ideas

OP, I am not sure why other posters are giving you such a hard time. I think your post sounds sweet and perfectly fine.

+1

Anonymous
Post 06/03/2024 16:18     Subject: Re:Rising 7th grade daughter- clothing ideas
I second the suggestion to just get some basics, athletic shorts, maybe Levi 501's and some t-s from Hollister or AE. Agree that Aerie is nice for loungewear as well. I will say I have a 9th grade DD and 7th grade is around when she started to get WAY more into shopping so your DD might surprise you this summer if you suggest some mall trips.

Beyond that, I just want to say I think it's sweet you are doing this and don't feel at all like you are trying to push her in a group. You sound like a great mom! Some people can't live if they don't find a flaw in every single post. It's annoying-ignore it!
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2024 16:17     Subject: Rising 7th grade daughter- clothing ideas
I’d let her pick out what she likes but just stick to stores in junior sizes. I feel it’s kinda mean to let a 7th grader still wear sequin shirts and kid style clothes when most likely she wears that bc that’s what she’s always worn and she’s just unaware of trends.

Hollister, pac sun, Brandy Melville (I find their clothes nice quality and soft so she might like some of their shirts and hoodies if she’s into comfort), American eagle and aerie. Let her walk around and pick out her own stuff (just might have to order online for xxs but I’d have her look in person and then order). Everything they sell is going to be 7th grade appropriate for a kid who doesn’t have big opinions on anything but comfort.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2024 15:26     Subject: Rising 7th grade daughter- clothing ideas
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:To start off stop calling clothing “ pieces”
Take her shopping over the summer to pick out a few things but then wait til school starts again because tastes change along with friend groups.


OP again.

You are right - I take back "pieces."

She really hates shopping - she will come along if I make her but if I do that I would hope it would be a onetime type thing to get her through the year. How often do you all go clothes shopping?! And where do you go? We have always just gone to Target. She also is super price sensitive. She has 8 pair of Green soffee shorts from camp last summer- she would never agree to let me buy her a pair of shorts, since those still fit. But if things just show up in her drawer, she will wear them. She still uses her same backpack from the first day of Kindergarten. I think she could use a small push to branch out.

Online is easiest. My DD will browse Hollister, Aerie, Altar’d State, Athleta, Nike and put things in the cart and leave them for me to look at. There is some trial and error with sizing that way, but she can do it in her own time instead of going out to a brick and mortar. If you think your DD might enjoy a day out at a brick and mortar with her friends, a large open air shopping mall might be fun. My DD and her friends were in Richmond for a sports event and the Short Pump mall was a huge hit, all the tween/teen girl things in one place.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2024 15:25     Subject: Rising 7th grade daughter- clothing ideas
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Short athletic shorts like Lululemon hottie hot and Nike Pros. Fitted sleeveless tank tops in solid colors - they can be from anywhere and don’t need to be cropped but can be. Short frayed Jean shorts. Boxy cropped t shirts. Hoodies, with or without zippers.

Switch the natives for crocs and get her some Nike crew socks with the black swoosh.


No! If her daughter isn’t asking asking for this, I would not encourage the basic B wardrobe


+10000000

Referring to 7th grade girls as “basic B”. Stay classy and never change DCUM moms. 🙄 And you can say oh I wasn’t calling the girls that, just describing how they dress, but that’s no better. You are an adult. Grow up and get over your hurt feelings about your MS experience.


Sorry, it’s true
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2024 15:25     Subject: Rising 7th grade daughter- clothing ideas
Just get her some Levi 501 cut off shorts and whatever interesting graphic tees or band shirts she likes. Done. Please don’t stock her closet with a bunch of Lululemon hottie hot shorts and crop tanks. That doesn’t sound like “her” at all
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2024 15:22     Subject: Rising 7th grade daughter- clothing ideas
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am hoping to get my rising 7th grader a little wardrobe refresh over the summer. She is finally connecting with a nice group of girls after a couple years of struggling socially, and after a lot of effort on her end to get out of her comfort zone. My dd does not care about fashion trends - she still wears flip sequin shirts and native shoes, for example. She doesn't wear hoodies or leggings or crop tops or jeans. I am glad she is not motivated by status symbols, but I was wondering if there were some things I could get for her that might mix her taste with current trends. DH wants to get her a couple band t shirts bc they are starting to bond over a few groups, so we may start there. She likes flare pants/ joggers and loves soft fabrics and graphics. I would love suggestions for pieces and even more so - outfits she can put together. She is slender- still mostly in children's Large sizes.


Oh wow, OP, there is so much to unpack here, but please, please, please stop pushing your child to be friend with kids that aren't necessarily her people. My mom was a lot like you and I really hated this about her. She has always been so focused on status and I was just not made to be the kid that she wanted. Don't be that mom. Let her do her own thing.


OP here- I get it. I do not need her to be "cool." She is bummed when she sits alone at lunch, though she is so sweet- "it's OK, Mom, I am reading a really good book." The girls she has gathered with are all very socially on the same level. She invited them for a pool party for the end of school (this was her big moment where she asked people over she had never socialized with) and they were all playing pretend games and four square. They were very polite and exchanged book recommendations. They sent thank you notes after. This is not a "cool" group of girls. My daughter would not wear many of the things mentioned, but she also hates shopping and asks me to just pick things for her. She would not wear jean shorts or crocs or white sneakers or crop tops but I am just looking for ideas that would fall in the range of things she does like.


OP, I am not sure why other posters are giving you such a hard time. I think your post sounds sweet and perfectly fine. I was the first response after your initial post. My DD is also petite like yours and she has this tank top in several colors in XS. It looks cute with most types of shorts. If she won't wear jean shorts I would at least stick to shorter athletic style shorts. I would not do longer chino or bermuda style shorts.

https://www.target.com/p/women-39-s-slim-fit-ribbed-high-neck-tank-top-a-new-day-8482-white-4x/-/A-81245910?sid=&ref=tgt_adv_xsp&AFID=google&fndsrc=tgtao&DFA=71700000012510736&CPNG=PLA_Women_Priority%2BShopping%7CWomen_Ecomm_AA&adgroup=Women_Priority+TCINs&LID=700000001170770pgs&LNM=PRODUCT_GROUP&network=g&device=c&location=9008140&targetid=pla-816804044809&ds_rl=1241788&ds_rl=1246978&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw0_WyBhDMARIsAL1Vz8sUwzRhkyEnU_5aJQ-E4NWqRpltxTtWJO1T00VSGVkMmwtdU_4jjugaAtRTEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2024 15:20     Subject: Rising 7th grade daughter- clothing ideas
Anonymous wrote:Middle school kids I've seen wear a lot of shirts from their favorite activities, like 5k race shirts, basketball camp shirts or swim team shirts. Activity shirts are even more popular in the quick dry version. It's almost a free wardrobe. Just throw in crocks and few pairs of athletic shorts.


PP here whose daughter will pick and chose from the standard middle school wardrobe and I agree. My DD was asking earlier this year (mid-6th) for graphic tees and I pointed out that for most of her friends activity shirts are the new graphic tees. She accepted that, and that's pretty much what she wears now. At our school there's plenty of quick dry "I was at X tournament" or "I am on X team" shirts, but also lots of (sleepaway) camp shirts, music shirts, other random activity shirts.
Anonymous
Post 06/03/2024 15:13     Subject: Rising 7th grade daughter- clothing ideas
Anonymous wrote:To start off stop calling clothing “ pieces”
Take her shopping over the summer to pick out a few things but then wait til school starts again because tastes change along with friend groups.


OP again.

You are right - I take back "pieces."

She really hates shopping - she will come along if I make her but if I do that I would hope it would be a onetime type thing to get her through the year. How often do you all go clothes shopping?! And where do you go? We have always just gone to Target. She also is super price sensitive. She has 8 pair of Green soffee shorts from camp last summer- she would never agree to let me buy her a pair of shorts, since those still fit. But if things just show up in her drawer, she will wear them. She still uses her same backpack from the first day of Kindergarten. I think she could use a small push to branch out.