Anonymous
Post 05/30/2024 21:04     Subject: Director flat out accredited something I did well to my looks
Anonymous wrote:I would say something in an email that you did not appreciate the comment like why do we as women let this shit fly? He could have said of course it went well you’re new! Or you don’t deliver bad news every week like the other guy! Unacceptable to narrow you to pretty blonde. I’d be livid I would say something.


Aaaaand then you’ll wonder why you don’t succeed at work.

Don’t make a big deal out of this.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2024 20:36     Subject: Director flat out accredited something I did well to my looks
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It’s true, sorry. Privilege is invisible to those who have it.


The comment was inappropriate


No it wasn't. It's accurate.


You can be accurate and inappropriate. They are not mutually exclusive.

I bet you're one of the people who is a complete a-hole to others, and you defend yourself by saying "well I'm just honest."
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2024 20:25     Subject: Director flat out accredited something I did well to my looks
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:These comments happen all the time. It’s what the kids call “micro aggressions.” Nothing good comes from calling out this behavior. Women who call out this behavior get labeled as “difficult,” “not a team player,” or worse a “feminazi.” Men sit through endless HR trainings on behavior and still say these things. Welcome to working with men! I work in a male dominated field and get comments like this all the time. It slowly wears you down then you get to retire.



1. Microaggressions aren’t real. It’s a completely made up concept for people who are DESPERATE to be offended.

2. Work on your sense of humor and your bantering skills. You don’t have to be so freaking serious all the time.

3. I work in a male-dominated field (I’m a woman) and I joke around around with my colleagues constantly. Sometimes they make a sexist joke that is funny, so you know what I do? I laugh! Then make a sexist joke right back. So rather than being bitter and counting the days to retirement, I have a fun and respectful working relationship with my colleagues and continue to enjoy my job.

But if you think constantly complaining about what are essentially harmless BS comments that will have no actual impact on your career or your life is worth it to advance the feminist cause or something, then have at it.


Perfect post for r/notliketheothergirls


Jesus Christ. You are incredibly immature and you sound exhausting. Hopefully you’re pretty, otherwise I cannot imagine anyone putting up with you for any length of time.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2024 19:57     Subject: Director flat out accredited something I did well to my looks
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It’s true, sorry. Privilege is invisible to those who have it.


The comment was inappropriate


No it wasn't. It's accurate.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2024 19:55     Subject: Director flat out accredited something I did well to my looks
Anonymous wrote:This is inappropriate, but it’s true.
“Smart + Good looking” beats “Smart + Ugly” all the time. Use it to your advantage.

Have you seen a successful news anchor who is ugly?
Let’s not pretend that look and appearance play no roles at work.[b]


+1. I am under no illusion that my looks have helped my career progression. Op, while your supervisor was a bit silly for saying it, I'm surprised you are just finding this out.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2024 18:25     Subject: Director flat out accredited something I did well to my looks
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:These comments happen all the time. It’s what the kids call “micro aggressions.” Nothing good comes from calling out this behavior. Women who call out this behavior get labeled as “difficult,” “not a team player,” or worse a “feminazi.” Men sit through endless HR trainings on behavior and still say these things. Welcome to working with men! I work in a male dominated field and get comments like this all the time. It slowly wears you down then you get to retire.


Perfect post for r/notliketheothergirls
1. Microaggressions aren’t real. It’s a completely made up concept for people who are DESPERATE to be offended.

2. Work on your sense of humor and your bantering skills. You don’t have to be so freaking serious all the time.

3. I work in a male-dominated field (I’m a woman) and I joke around around with my colleagues constantly. Sometimes they make a sexist joke that is funny, so you know what I do? I laugh! Then make a sexist joke right back. So rather than being bitter and counting the days to retirement, I have a fun and respectful working relationship with my colleagues and continue to enjoy my job.

But if you think constantly complaining about what are essentially harmless BS comments that will have no actual impact on your career or your life is worth it to advance the feminist cause or something, then have at it.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2024 18:23     Subject: Director flat out accredited something I did well to my looks
my beautiful well spoken and nicely dressed daughter who looks like a movie star got a starting salary 30k higher than my dumpy, quiet sloppy dressed niece with same major.

Both no nothing as recently graduated. People just pay more to better looking young people and have them present more.



Anonymous
Post 05/30/2024 18:12     Subject: Director flat out accredited something I did well to my looks
Anonymous[b wrote:]Weird comment. Start documenting and see if it’s a pattern or a one-off. Your boss sounds like he resents you. Good for you though for doing well.
[/b]

wrong. no reason to be so defensive. Don't you personally make the occasional weird comment or say something slightly "off"?
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2024 18:11     Subject: Director flat out accredited something I did well to my looks
Anonymous wrote:These comments happen all the time. It’s what the kids call “micro aggressions.” Nothing good comes from calling out this behavior. Women who call out this behavior get labeled as “difficult,” “not a team player,” or worse a “feminazi.” Men sit through endless HR trainings on behavior and still say these things. Welcome to working with men! I work in a male dominated field and get comments like this all the time. It slowly wears you down then you get to retire.


1. Microaggressions aren’t real. It’s a completely made up concept for people who are DESPERATE to be offended.

2. Work on your sense of humor and your bantering skills. You don’t have to be so freaking serious all the time.

3. I work in a male-dominated field (I’m a woman) and I joke around around with my colleagues constantly. Sometimes they make a sexist joke that is funny, so you know what I do? I laugh! Then make a sexist joke right back. So rather than being bitter and counting the days to retirement, I have a fun and respectful working relationship with my colleagues and continue to enjoy my job.

But if you think constantly complaining about what are essentially harmless BS comments that will have no actual impact on your career or your life is worth it to advance the feminist cause or something, then have at it.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2024 18:05     Subject: Re:Director flat out accredited something I did well to my looks
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think most of you are wrong about him saying it being misogynistic. I actually think it shows that he respects OP’s intelligence enough to “say the quiet part out loud” as it were. OP, you did a good job, and what he said was also true. If I were you I might even volunteer to deliver more bad news in the future if your boss is extra stressed about it. Show that you’re a team player who also understands and accepts reality, and that your colleagues don’t have to be terrified of offending you (even if what they say is true). But that’s just me.


You don’t KNOW that her looks had anything to do with how it all went down.

Your misogyny is showing!


Nothing is less appropriate than this dumb comment (and its many variations) coming from an adult. You should be embarrassed at how shallow you are.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2024 16:58     Subject: Director flat out accredited something I did well to my looks
Anonymous wrote:Document it (just email yourself or something) and save the info for later.


This. Totally out of line, but not worth rocking the boat for (yet). But document it now in an email to yourself because it might save you time later. Best case scenario is you never need it.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2024 16:31     Subject: Director flat out accredited something I did well to my looks
Anonymous wrote:This was a racially insensitive comment by the manager. Write yourself a time-stamped email for contemporaneous note purposes. You'll probably need to show it to HR at some point in the future.


Racially insensitive? Pointing out that it’s easier in the work place to be white than black? Good luck that claim.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2024 15:57     Subject: Director flat out accredited something I did well to my looks
Anonymous wrote:I would say something in an email that you did not appreciate the comment like why do we as women let this shit fly? He could have said of course it went well you’re new! Or you don’t deliver bad news every week like the other guy! Unacceptable to narrow you to pretty blonde. I’d be livid I would say something.


Are you a pretty blonde?

I have been "that" pretty blonde for many years, and you have to pick your battles. This isn't one of them.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2024 15:55     Subject: Director flat out accredited something I did well to my looks
Anonymous wrote:My old company we had this pretty young and energetic hip girl present bas news and the crusty sloppy older CEO deliver good news.

We all went easy on the women as we knew she was just speaking for the CEO on why bonuses cut, or KPIs increased or layoffs coming.

She was good. She even flirt. I loved her mojo. I like when a guy said does this mean. I raise and she said don’t worry if you can’t afford drinks I will buy you a few rounds.

At some points I did not even know what she was saying.

I may sound sexist but I have a daughter in IT sales who is 23 and extremely pretty. Her old married bosses treat her like a daughter and send her out with s script or invited to senior client meeting. No one cares what a fat and bald 55 year old guy thinks. It is why she makes 100k at 23.

Are you drunk? It’s not even 4 pm.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2024 15:46     Subject: Director flat out accredited something I did well to my looks
My old company we had this pretty young and energetic hip girl present bas news and the crusty sloppy older CEO deliver good news.

We all went easy on the women as we knew she was just speaking for the CEO on why bonuses cut, or KPIs increased or layoffs coming.

She was good. She even flirt. I loved her mojo. I like when a guy said does this mean. I raise and she said don’t worry if you can’t afford drinks I will buy you a few rounds.

At some points I did not even know what she was saying.

I may sound sexist but I have a daughter in IT sales who is 23 and extremely pretty. Her old married bosses treat her like a daughter and send her out with s script or invited to senior client meeting. No one cares what a fat and bald 55 year old guy thinks. It is why she makes 100k at 23.