Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sympathetic but there seems to be a little “I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member” thinking going on here.

Np here, but I’m not sure what you are saying here with this?

It sounds like the kid thinks the sign in clubs are not right for her (because of their “personalities”) even though they are welcoming to everyone and therefore get lots of different kids. The bicker clubs have much stronger “personalities” and fewer “regular” kids because they are exclusionary—but that’s where she hopes to make friends.

I read OPs scenario as the bicker clubs had a broader set of "personalities" which included ones her DC felt she identified with and that when she considered the sign in clubs, the "personalities" did not include one her DC felt she identified with. I do agree, though, that if these sign-in clubs are more welcoming in nature (AND by construct), the DC should find one she feels best about (or knows another nice person signing up for) and give it a try.

Right—it’s the latter. The sign in clubs are broader in nature and more welcoming.

None of this sounds welcoming.

And people on this board complain about the Greek system being exclusionary????

Aren't there choirs, newspapers, community service organisations, Future Aviators, board games clubs, etc. to provide friends and dovial interaction?

I think the study abroad advice is solid. I did a summer abroad program (not at Princeton) and made life-long friends there.

I think it’s worth to investigate these feelings a bit deeper. It sounds as if your child is limiting their world a bit.

There are so many people who entirely opt out of bicker clubs or clubs altogether. There are so many other activities and clubs at Princeton, not to mention roommates, classmates, study abroad, etc. Things like theatre, french theatre even, debate panel, etc. I know plenty of people who were at clubs and others who were not at all. All loved their experience.

Princeton is a rigorous place academically. Why no mention of the academic goals? Sign up to learn arabic or chinese, along with their study abroad programs. There is an office that coordinates international internships that make for great cohorts abroad in one of the bit cities where there are a lot of students. The departments can be close too.

Anonymous wrote:OP here I just want to elaborate a little my DC says that some people do have a fantastic experience there the athletes absolutely do and there’s a lot of legacies from New York City and they all have a pipeline into the bicker clubs, etc.

Any preferred major ? Any career objective ?

Filling out transfer applications can be a cathartic experience that forces the applicant to fully assess his/her current situation.

OP here I just want to elaborate a little my DC says that some people do have a fantastic experience there the athletes absolutely do and there’s a lot of legacies from New York City and they all have a pipeline into the bicker clubs, etc.

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately the part of Princeton "they" don't tell you about. As someone above mentioned a rather "rigid" and insular social structure. At this point the eating club dynamic is antiquated. Probably the best thing about the school is actually graduating from there. Tell your DC to sign up for a non-bicker and try to hang in there and graduate, two years will fly by in no time.

OP here yes I think that’s good advice. I wish that they could just make a couple of good friends and feel part of the community in some way.

Anonymous wrote:My DC graduated a few years ago and LOVED their Princeton experience. Joined Colonial (not bicker club) with a few friends and I've only heard positive things about Colo and being at Princeton. Seems like a very welcoming club and has fun social events.

Op here. Good to know! My dc got the sense the club was mostly Asian and ideally was looking for more diversity but maybe mistake ?! Thank you

Unfortunately the part of Princeton "they" don't tell you about. As someone above mentioned a rather "rigid" and insular social structure. At this point the eating club dynamic is antiquated. Probably the best thing about the school is actually graduating from there. Tell your DC to sign up for a non-bicker and try to hang in there and graduate, two years will fly by in no time.

My neice just graduated had a fabulous 4 years.

Anonymous wrote:Why is the social life there so rigidly structured?

It’s not. But if you buy into a certain hierarchy and then those people reject you, it stings. But there are many people who aren’t part of that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sympathetic but there seems to be a little “I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member” thinking going on here.

Np here, but I’m not sure what you are saying here with this?

It sounds like the kid thinks the sign in clubs are not right for her (because of their “personalities”) even though they are welcoming to everyone and therefore get lots of different kids. The bicker clubs have much stronger “personalities” and fewer “regular” kids because they are exclusionary—but that’s where she hopes to make friends.

I read OPs scenario as the bicker clubs had a broader set of "personalities" which included ones her DC felt she identified with and that when she considered the sign in clubs, the "personalities" did not include one her DC felt she identified with. I do agree, though, that if these sign-in clubs are more welcoming in nature (AND by construct), the DC should find one she feels best about (or knows another nice person signing up for) and give it a try.

Right—it’s the latter. The sign in clubs are broader in nature and more welcoming.

My DC graduated a few years ago and LOVED their Princeton experience. Joined Colonial (not bicker club) with a few friends and I've only heard positive things about Colo and being at Princeton. Seems like a very welcoming club and has fun social events.

I agree with one of the PP above that it sounds odd your DC tries to get into bicker clubs only. I myself wouldn't want to be in a bicker club. Fortunately DC did not even consider bicker.