Anonymous wrote:Your child, as a guest, is not giving a gift because the child host graduated high school. Your child is giving a (small, token) gift because they've been invited as a guest to a party. These are basic social mores. And no, no one will judge or "grub" the kids for not giving gifts, but this is the correct framework. The poster above who framed it like birthdays and birthday parties (of course everyone has birthdays and you still bring a gift to the parties) was correct.

No, it is not like a birthday party unless all the invited kids were born on the same day.

Why is this in College fourm?

Anonymous wrote:No gifts to peers at a grad party.
Hostess gift is fine.
Parents give gifts to their kids' friends if they want to; not expected.
Adult friends and family who are invited can give a card, if so inclined with cash/gift card.
Family from afar can also send a card w/wo gift.

Hostess gift? Never occurred to me

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:of course you bring a gift. For those that say it’s giving one gift from one person to one gift to another… That’s what you do when you’re invited to someone’s party. Who would go to a grad party and not bring a gift?

A guest of honor does not bring a gift. When you throw a graduation party and invite other graduates, you are celebrating all of them, not just the kid who lives there. They are all guests of honor.

100%%%%!!!!

Yes!

Anonymous wrote:Your child, as a guest, is not giving a gift because the child host graduated high school. Your child is giving a (small, token) gift because they've been invited as a guest to a party. These are basic social mores. And no, no one will judge or "grub" the kids for not giving gifts, but this is the correct framework. The poster above who framed it like birthdays and birthday parties (of course everyone has birthdays and you still bring a gift to the parties) was correct.

What a PIA—how many gifts are you buying? Kid has been invited to 8 open houses already. Most say “no gifts”.

Senior son at a private with a mix of public and private HS friends. No gifts. None of the parties with just students were gifts given. In his crowd- it’s not a thing. In my family, HS grad parties aren’t a thing. It’s a family celebration—relatives after ceremony.

My husband is from a Midwest town where most kids don’t go to college and HS parties are a big deal. I grew up locally and they weren’t a thing here. 98% of my public HS went into a 4-year college. Our HS hosted a big “no alcohol” party event at some center —the night of graduation. MADD was very big then- thankfully.

Your child, as a guest, is not giving a gift because the child host graduated high school. Your child is giving a (small, token) gift because they've been invited as a guest to a party. These are basic social mores. And no, no one will judge or "grub" the kids for not giving gifts, but this is the correct framework. The poster above who framed it like birthdays and birthday parties (of course everyone has birthdays and you still bring a gift to the parties) was correct.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So OP, as you can tell from the responses, some people see these parties as gifting occasions from everyone. While others think expecting gifts from peers in this instance is tacky.

Guess we see where you stand….

No, the choices aren’t as you laid them out. The choices are some believe gifts should be given and some don’t. Who said anything about expecting gifts and it being tacky? This is whether gifts should be given.

PS they should

PPS it is the grad announcements that are tacky!

We get a few of these every year, esp. from White people (we are not; immigrants)? Are we expected to respond with a gift ? I'm feeling bad now for all the times we didn't send one. If that's the case, it IS tacky.

When we are invited to a party AND choose to attend we give gift cards.

My daughter has been invited to a grad party where she has been told to wear a certain color dress...sigh

Anonymous wrote:of course you bring a gift. For those that say it’s giving one gift from one person to one gift to another… That’s what you do when you’re invited to someone’s party. Who would go to a grad party and not bring a gift?

A guest of honor does not bring a gift. When you throw a graduation party and invite other graduates, you are celebrating all of them, not just the kid who lives there. They are all guests of honor.

Anonymous wrote:OP. This is a high school senior who will be attending over 15 HS graduation parties. Hence the question. $10 cash and a "Happy graduation. Good luck with your future" card OK? Personally not a fan of gift cards. Parents are not invited to any of these.

Your graduate does not have to spend $150 on classmates. They are all celebrating together.

Anonymous wrote:DC has been invited to several grad parties. First kid so don't have first hand experience. How much should DC give each kid? Cash or gift card? Most are open-house style events where the kids visit their graduating friend, eat, make merry and leave.

Give a $20 bill and get 2 $2 bills from the bank. Cute, reasonable, on point. 2024 grads.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So OP, as you can tell from the responses, some people see these parties as gifting occasions from everyone. While others think expecting gifts from peers in this instance is tacky.

Guess we see where you stand….

No, the choices aren’t as you laid them out. The choices are some believe gifts should be given and some don’t. Who said anything about expecting gifts and it being tacky? This is whether gifts should be given.

PS they should

PPS it is the grad announcements that are tacky!

Absolutely, I'm not shy about this opinion at all. The fact that adults will roll up in here and say that kids should give other kids gifts for the exact same accomplishment they themselves just achieved is grubby and tacky in my opinion. I'm not a fan of the graduation announcements either, but at least they are targeted at the head of household. If you are a parent hosting a graduation party for your kid and have allowed them to invite their friends to roll through (which is what often happens because there are multiple parties) and expect gifts from the kids who are invited without their parents? That's tacky.

$20 + $2, $2= congrats class of ‘24? Close family $200+$24?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honest question - why wouldn’t the kids give each other a small gift ($10 gift card) for attending parties? Common courtesy as a guest, no? Not every kid hosts a party so it’s not like it all goes around.

No, because there's always someone left out who gets invited to a party but cannot, for a number of reasons, invite others. I know some of these kids. Generally they live in apartments and their parents don't want to throw parties.

Gifts between kids are NOT expected.

Financially independent adults are expected to conform to stricter etiquette rules. But dependent kids and adults have a more relaxed set of rules, thank goodness.

Wow, this is news to me. I may reconsider sending money with kid to a party they are attending.

It does seem weird for my kid to give a gift this year, and they did not give my kid a gift last year.