I have an entire fantasy life in my head in which I became a geologist. I love rocks. My grandfather was in oil and loved them too. At a very young age I was obsessed with the difference between sedimentary and volcanic rock, how geodes are made in streams, etc. But it wasn't to be -- I have bad ADHD and barely passed my math/science classes in hs and took just enough to graduate in college. Eventually became a lawyer and then writer.

I've been very successful, but I am looking wistfully at a big piece of smoky quartz that sits on my desk right now.

When I entered the work force I aimed really low. I could only imagine myself as a loser worker trying to hold onto a regular 9-5 job. When I wanted to change jobs, I applied for equal low level jobs thinking that I am not good enough for higher level jobs. I was also afraid to ask for help and guidance so I can be better. The combo of insecurity and low self esteem is self fulfilling.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would it mean I get to be young again? Sign me up.

Sure, I'd love to redo almost all of my career. I've worked for 8 employers in the four decades (yikes!) since I graduated from college. Four of those employers went out of business and I never really progressed in the others. If I did it all over again, I might figure out how to make $100k, which would be nice.

I'm not sure if I'm bad at picking jobs or just not a very good worker, so things might be worse in a do-over.

Oh gosh me, too - though I wouldn't want to be young again. I'm 50 and I feel like I fought hard to get here. To have to start all over again - please no!

Yes. I feel this way too. I'd love my 23 yr old body back, but not enough to have to actually be 23 and do it all again. Nope.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You mean NOT have a special needs kid needing intense care that led me to quit and kill my budding career?

Well. That's a big question. He's functional now, 19 years later, so I guess not. No regrets.

Let's see if I can find a job now. Ha.

I was you except I left my job willingly thinking it would be just a few years of blissful baby and toddler fun. Several kids and disabilities later, I knew I wouldn’t go back. I don’t regret those years because my kids really needed me. Last fall, after 20 years out of work, I felt ready to figure out my next chapter. It was terrifying to think about putting myself out there. I found great support and ideas here on this forum. While I did basically have to start over and the pay is really low, it has turned out to be an amazing thing for me. I have the most supportive and positive work environment. I didn’t think such a place existed. I love my job. 9 months ago I would never have imagined any of it. If you want to go back, give it a try.

I'm so happy to hear that! I do think that for a lot of us, fear and stagnation are holding us back - it's never easy to start over, esp when you're not a youngun, but it's not impossible. I hope things just keep getting better for you.

The first part of my career was a series of jobs with grad school tossed in. It’s terrible that college students are not taught how to have a career versus a bunch of jobs. There’s so much I didn’t know that others did about networking, finding mentors, etc.

I had no guidance from anyone and didn’t even know attending grad school was something people did to earn more money.

Finally, I figured out how to have a career, and my income jumped by $60,000 or so over a few years.

I’d keep the second part of my corporate career and re-do the first part!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was illegal in US for first 12 years. This meant no college, no career. I had a job, but I was reminded daily how lucky I was to have a job.
I worked a 12-hour shift in Adams Morgan serving HH drinks, dinner, and then the place turned into night club. It was brutal and we made $2k max a month working full time. The employer didn't even bother paying the $2.77 an hour. I had SS number and had paid taxes before. Wasn't my choice not to get w2.
Once I got my papers, I invested myself into financial freedom within few years on sub $40k salary.
I wanted freedom from working for someone else not a career.

What do you do now?

They never say. I’ve seen this similar post in many threads.

DP

Anonymous wrote:At least you made money. I followed my passion to a low paying gov job when I could have pretty easily been in banking or tech and retired by now.

Or you could have been laid off from tech and have no health insurance or pension in retirement like you will have.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would it mean I get to be young again? Sign me up.

Sure, I'd love to redo almost all of my career. I've worked for 8 employers in the four decades (yikes!) since I graduated from college. Four of those employers went out of business and I never really progressed in the others. If I did it all over again, I might figure out how to make $100k, which would be nice.

I'm not sure if I'm bad at picking jobs or just not a very good worker, so things might be worse in a do-over.

Happens more often than you think, especially in accounting when a merger or acquisition means this is the first department cut.

Actually, the IT department often gets cut because they're only needed to migrate the acquired company to the parent's network and applications.

Anonymous wrote:Would it mean I get to be young again? Sign me up.

Sure, I'd love to redo almost all of my career. I've worked for 8 employers in the four decades (yikes!) since I graduated from college. Four of those employers went out of business and I never really progressed in the others. If I did it all over again, I might figure out how to make $100k, which would be nice.

I'm not sure if I'm bad at picking jobs or just not a very good worker, so things might be worse in a do-over.

Happens more often than you think, especially in accounting when a merger or acquisition means this is the first department cut.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You mean NOT have a special needs kid needing intense care that led me to quit and kill my budding career?

Well. That's a big question. He's functional now, 19 years later, so I guess not. No regrets.

Let's see if I can find a job now. Ha.

I was you except I left my job willingly thinking it would be just a few years of blissful baby and toddler fun. Several kids and disabilities later, I knew I wouldn’t go back. I don’t regret those years because my kids really needed me. Last fall, after 20 years out of work, I felt ready to figure out my next chapter. It was terrifying to think about putting myself out there. I found great support and ideas here on this forum. While I did basically have to start over and the pay is really low, it has turned out to be an amazing thing for me. I have the most supportive and positive work environment. I didn’t think such a place existed. I love my job. 9 months ago I would never have imagined any of it. If you want to go back, give it a try.

Good story. Thanks for sharing. If you're re-entering the workforce after being a stay-at-home parent, it's important to stay realistic and not compare yourself to people your own age who didn't leave the workforce. If you're not re-entering just yet, you can start taking online classes and teaching yourself new skills so that you're competitive.

Anonymous wrote:You mean NOT have a special needs kid needing intense care that led me to quit and kill my budding career?

Well. That's a big question. He's functional now, 19 years later, so I guess not. No regrets.

Let's see if I can find a job now. Ha.

I was you except I left my job willingly thinking it would be just a few years of blissful baby and toddler fun. Several kids and disabilities later, I knew I wouldn’t go back. I don’t regret those years because my kids really needed me. Last fall, after 20 years out of work, I felt ready to figure out my next chapter. It was terrifying to think about putting myself out there. I found great support and ideas here on this forum. While I did basically have to start over and the pay is really low, it has turned out to be an amazing thing for me. I have the most supportive and positive work environment. I didn’t think such a place existed. I love my job. 9 months ago I would never have imagined any of it. If you want to go back, give it a try.

Not my whole career, just my choice of graduate schools in the early-1990s. I went to a mid-tier law school and after receiving top 1L grades, I had an opportunity to transfer. I chose to stay put in order to hold onto my 1L grades - which in retrospect was a mistake. I ended up graduating at the top of my class (not #1, but close), so my fear of starting over at a much higher ranked law school was completely misplaced. At the time however, there wasn't nearly as much data available to help in making my decision (the Internet was just being born).

That decision notwithstanding, I did end up as a VP, Legal in a Fortune 100 company with BIGLAW equity partner-level compensation. So I am grateful for the life that I have now. Yet the path to that role would have been MUCH easier had I chosen to transfer (but perhaps it was the struggle that drove me, so I'll never know). Reminds me of the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "Tapestry".

I never had a career, just stupid jobs.

I wish I’d never returned to work after the first child.

OR didn’t have kids.

No. I did my PhD and the job I wanted that required it. Every time I work with somebody else in a different profession, it reinforces the belief I made the right choice.