Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't make a life with this man if it wasn't something your brain/body told you was lighthearted and to dismiss. Something is telling you he's a jerk and wouldn't be supportive when bigger things happen down the line.

That’s exactly what my gut is telling me. It’s like what Jen said about Brad -“he’s missing a sensitivity chip”. I guess because he’s never outright mean but will say passive aggressive, insensitive things like in the OP frequently so I thought I was being hypersensitive.

His childhood friend, who came from a very wealthy family, committed suicide last year. They were clearing out his things a few weeks later and the family gave his versace robe to another mutual friend instead of my BF. My BF talked about incessantly how “unfair” it was and he “deserved” the robe because he had known him longer than their other mutual friend. It was so off putting and bizarre that the robe was his concern. Also, the childhood friend weighed about about 300 lbs and my BF is probably 160 lbs so even more bizarre that he was so upset about this robe….

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't make a life with this man if it wasn't something your brain/body told you was lighthearted and to dismiss. Something is telling you he's a jerk and wouldn't be supportive when bigger things happen down the line.

Anonymous wrote:I was laid off a year ago and I’ve struggled to find something since, well at least well paying anyways. I had some come contracting work here and there but nothing FTE. A lot of my colleagues in the same industry were/are in the same boat because the market has been absolutely awful. Luckily, I had a few interviews the past 2 weeks ago and I got an offer, looks like there’s a very very good chance of getting another tomorrow, just advanced to the next round with another company today, and got an invitation to interview with another company on Friday. I was updating my SO on me moving to the next round with another company and he said, “Where was this a year ago?”. I just stared at him. I responded with, “Really? I’ll let you answer that question”. To which he replied, “I think you wanted to take a year off and just started applying”, followed by a giggle. I looked at him and asked if that’s what he really thought and he said, “Yea”, paused then laughed again and said, “Come on you know I was just joking. Grow up”. I told him that wasn’t funny and it was stupid and he said, “I guess you want to act brand new now that you’re getting a job”. I asked him what he meant by that and he said never mind and tried to change the subject and I asked again what he meant. He finally just said that he was going to bed.

Was I being too sensitive?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a steady job, but I have been trying to move to another paying job. In the past, interviews and calls happened easily, but not these days...

Same. Before this I could find another job in 2 months max and only had to apply to a handful of places while having recruiters contact me all the time. It’s bad out here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he built off your negativity. His first statement was innocuous but your response might have pushed that conversation in another direction

Hmm I can maybe see that.

I’ll give a little more context. The night prior, he had asked me randomly, again for about the fourth time recently would I get consider getting a BBL. He keeps bringing up the plastic surgery on my butt and then he laughs about it and turns around and says “you know I’m just joking”. I told him continuously asking about me getting plastic surgery on my body isn’t funny. Fast forward about 10 minutes later he asked me if I looked at engagement rings to see what style I liked but then laughed and said “or we could just leave our situation the way it is”. Followed by his favorite line, “you know that I’m just joking”. I obviously didn’t laugh. He said he wanted me to be “soft”. I responded that he makes a lot of passive aggressive “jokes” and although we can and should joke with each other, personal jabs aren’t healthy. He said he agreed with me. So when this came up tonight it was kind of like a forehead smack because we had just talked about this the day before.

Anonymous wrote:I have a steady job, but I have been trying to move to another paying job. In the past, interviews and calls happened easily, but not these days...

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you are being sensitive, saying someone wasn’t working all year and was just eating bonbons is really insulting. Looking for a job for a year is really stressful. Supporting someone who isn’t bringing in any income is also stressful.

It sounds like neither of you have talked about the top this year has taken on both of you.

Anonymous wrote:This is grounds for breaking up with him (and good riddance; he’s a a$$hat). But I don’t imagine that’s on the table; it sounds like you’ve been tolerating this behavior a long time . So what really is there to say?