Anonymous wrote:Your DH is right, fwiw.

Yep. If I could go back, I wouldn't do it until 7th - 8th.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she already uses an iPad, I don’t see much difference, especially if you don’t allow social media. On the other hand, at our school they theoretically don’t allow phones, but then it seems like teachers make exceptions and they all use them during class breaks.

I see a big difference. She doesn’t have it with her 24/7 is one main difference. So she isn’t constantly using it out and about.

So you set rules about when it can be used. My 6th grader doesn’t carry hers around either. It’s not allowed in restaurants for example. We’re going out for dinner tonight with Grandparents. She won’t bring it, won’t even ask.
You need to set boundaries and enforce them.

This is the way.

If she’s sulking I wouldn’t give her anything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she already uses an iPad, I don’t see much difference, especially if you don’t allow social media. On the other hand, at our school they theoretically don’t allow phones, but then it seems like teachers make exceptions and they all use them during class breaks.

I see a big difference. She doesn’t have it with her 24/7 is one main difference. So she isn’t constantly using it out and about.

So you set rules about when it can be used. My 6th grader doesn’t carry hers around either. It’s not allowed in restaurants for example. We’re going out for dinner tonight with Grandparents. She won’t bring it, won’t even ask.
You need to set boundaries and enforce them.

+1 since she’s already doing “phone things” on the iPhone it seems silly to put your foot down.

Anonymous wrote:Team DH. Read Haidt’s book - the Anxious Generation. And your kid isn’t graduating from 5th grade.

Something wrong with kid “making it very clear.” Who is the parent here?

Team DH. Delay it as long as you possibly can. 8th grade would be a better time to get one. Just get her a dumb phone for the moment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all sound a bit over the top. I have a 7th grader. He has one friend who doesn’t have a phone. That kids isn’t allowed to do anything. No hanging it out. No getting a ride home from school even if it’s raining. Parents are super strict. They are school friends. Maybe it’s different with boys but no spat or insta. They barely text.

Believe it or not kids in 6th grade without iPhones still have friends and hang out and get rides home from school when it rains. Your belief that an iPhone is what makes the difference in life and that anyone without them is a social recluse and reject is over the top.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she already uses an iPad, I don’t see much difference, especially if you don’t allow social media. On the other hand, at our school they theoretically don’t allow phones, but then it seems like teachers make exceptions and they all use them during class breaks.

I see a big difference. She doesn’t have it with her 24/7 is one main difference. So she isn’t constantly using it out and about.

So you set rules about when it can be used. My 6th grader doesn’t carry hers around either. It’s not allowed in restaurants for example. We’re going out for dinner tonight with Grandparents. She won’t bring it, won’t even ask.
You need to set boundaries and enforce them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all sound a bit over the top. I have a 7th grader. He has one friend who doesn’t have a phone. That kids isn’t allowed to do anything. No hanging it out. No getting a ride home from school even if it’s raining. Parents are super strict. They are school friends. Maybe it’s different with boys but no spat or insta. They barely text.

Believe it or not kids in 6th grade without iPhones still have friends and hang out and get rides home from school when it rains. Your belief that an iPhone is what makes the difference in life and that anyone without them is a social recluse and reject is over the top.

I’m sure they do, but at my kids’ school, you’d be a total outcast. I got sick of texting my kid’s friends’ moms, so I got them an iPhone. The kids need to make their own plans then ask me.

You’ve both got valid points. We got DD one for her 11th birthday which was the summer before 6th grade. It’s an IPhone 7 though so not one if the latest versions.
It came with rules though. All electronics charge in my room at night. No use before school, maintain good grades etc.
maybe you and DD try sitting down and coming up with an agreement that you can then present to DH regarding his concerns. See if that helps.
Having said that, part of me doesn’t want you to get her one because she’s furious and sulking. She doesn’t get to behave like that when she can’t have something she wants.

DH is right.

No IPhone until HS at the earliest.

Anonymous wrote:You all sound a bit over the top. I have a 7th grader. He has one friend who doesn’t have a phone. That kids isn’t allowed to do anything. No hanging it out. No getting a ride home from school even if it’s raining. Parents are super strict. They are school friends. Maybe it’s different with boys but no spat or insta. They barely text.

Believe it or not kids in 6th grade without iPhones still have friends and hang out and get rides home from school when it rains. Your belief that an iPhone is what makes the difference in life and that anyone without them is a social recluse and reject is over the top.

You all sound a bit over the top. I have a 7th grader. He has one friend who doesn’t have a phone. That kids isn’t allowed to do anything. No hanging it out. No getting a ride home from school even if it’s raining. Parents are super strict. They are school friends. Maybe it’s different with boys but no spat or insta. They barely text.

Anonymous wrote:If she already uses an iPad, I don’t see much difference, especially if you don’t allow social media. On the other hand, at our school they theoretically don’t allow phones, but then it seems like teachers make exceptions and they all use them during class breaks.

I see a big difference. She doesn’t have it with her 24/7 is one main difference. So she isn’t constantly using it out and about.

I felt the same op, but then in 6th, I wanted a way to track my kid. If you are in an UMC school she will be the minority by far, but sounds like he’s set on not getting her one.