Anonymous
Post 05/11/2024 22:56     Subject: DH making 16-yr old attend niece's 5th Bday party
My nieces and nephews age range is from infant to 22. They’ve all gone to all the birthday parties, it’s just something we all do. The OP is trying to turn it into a negative but nobody asked her teen to do anything.

As for the “sporting event” I would have arranged a car pool and gone to the party.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2024 21:18     Subject: DH making 16-yr old attend niece's 5th Bday party
Her not going is not going to help establish relationship with younger relatives. Outside of birthdays and holidays they will likely not interact. She should go.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2024 17:40     Subject: DH making 16-yr old attend niece's 5th Bday party
I agree with your dh.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2024 17:39     Subject: DH making 16-yr old attend niece's 5th Bday party
I don’t see why the 16 year old doesn’t want to attend. I loved my cousins. 5 year olds are cute and fun. You all clearly aren’t family oriented so I guess I wouldn’t make her go.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2024 17:31     Subject: Re:DH making 16-yr old attend niece's 5th Bday party
Our entire family attends family birthday parties. But we all have two parties - one for friends, one for family. Only friends attend the one for friends.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2024 15:32     Subject: DH making 16-yr old attend niece's 5th Bday party
She should go.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2024 13:20     Subject: Re:DH making 16-yr old attend niece's 5th Bday party
Sports come before a 5 yo birthday party. She should go late though depending how far away it is.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2024 12:49     Subject: DH making 16-yr old attend niece's 5th Bday party
Anonymous wrote:It’s stupid but 16 year old can deal
Is the party at a house or at a venue? If it’s a 5 year old party at Pump it up, no she shouldn’t go.


I don’t think they will be playing cards so the 16 year won’t need to deal.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2024 12:49     Subject: DH making 16-yr old attend niece's 5th Bday party
Anonymous wrote:Thanks all - very good points made here.

She just told me she wants to compromise by going to the party if she can go to her "friend" that's a boy's house tonight. Which I'm also not comfortable with as I don't know him or his family at all.. ah the saga continues.


Please don't capitulate to this demand. She needs to just go. No conditions.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2024 12:48     Subject: DH making 16-yr old attend niece's 5th Bday party
I have teen DDs and they adore their younger cousins. They wouldn’t want to miss this unless they had a legitimate conflict, which of course we would allow.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2024 12:47     Subject: DH making 16-yr old attend niece's 5th Bday party
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't think you are nuts. I think the expectations for this type of thing vary by family and circumstances.

It's sounds like your DH's family is like mine. We all get together for every birthday if we possibly can. My teens will always go to a party at their cousins' house. (They are similarly much older than all their cousins, who are preschool to early elementary.) However, my family doesn't expect them to go to the party the cousins host for their school friends (like the PP mentioned at a place like Pump it Up). We do the family get together and the little kid party separately.

If it is at their house, I think you taking one child to the sporting event and your DH taking your 16 year old to the party is a good compromise. If the party is at some little-kid place, I think you could let the 16 year old skip it and your husband can go represent your family.


Actually no, this isn’t the tradition in the paternal family. Remember the other teen cousins on the husband’s side are not going to the 5 year old’s party.

The OP’s daughter is the only one.



I don't see where OP mentioned this. Where did she mention teens other than the 16 yr old sibling with a sports committment?
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2024 12:46     Subject: DH making 16-yr old attend niece's 5th Bday party
Of course she should go - is she always this difficult?
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2024 12:22     Subject: DH making 16-yr old attend niece's 5th Bday party
I wouldn’t make mine go but I also think it’s fine to make her go for a bit. I’d compromise and say she just has to stay for an hour and then can leave.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2024 12:21     Subject: DH making 16-yr old attend niece's 5th Bday party
You would know if it was a family type party or a party at a trampoline park.
Anonymous
Post 05/11/2024 12:20     Subject: DH making 16-yr old attend niece's 5th Bday party
It really depends. I have a 7yo and we don’t make her older teen/tween siblings attend her birthday party geared towards her 1st grade friends. We celebrate actual birthday on birthday.

If it was family we didn’t see often, I would go and make teen go.