Playing on the playground. I don't help kid get anywhere she can't get herself, and if she gets herself up she needs to figure out how to get herself down. If it's looking dicey I will be there to cushion the fall.

For me, it's about allowing independence with appropriate oversight. We let our kids ride bikes to activities from a fairly young age. We usually ride with them the first few times and they always have our extra "kids phone" with them should they need to call us (and yes, we can track them if necessary). I have been known to do spot checks by following surreptitiously in the car to make sure they're following our rules and making good choices (they always have!)

We also let them ride their bikes to the grocery store to pick up things to make (they are usually doing this with a friend or sibling).

They also use money they've earned and ride to the deli with a friend, or the snack bar at the baseball field.

My youngest, 8, is doing all of this now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Packing suitcases! My kid has been packing with me since she was little and she's been independently packing her suitcase for several years (she's 8). She usually just asks me how many days we're going to be visiting and then what kinds of weather. She even remembers to pack extra underwear/shirts because you just always want to have extra if those

I feel like you are confusing things that someone taught early, with things that kids learned by themselves. It sounds like you taught your kid how to pack. OP is asking about letting kids learn through exploration, which is the opposite.

I don't think OP means you have to not teach them before you let them explore. It just means after you teach them to pack a suitcase, you have them do it on their own. Then depending on how bad it might be if they forget something, you may or may not cross-check their work.

For example are you willing to let your kid forget her toothbrush after you taught her how to pack a suitcase and gave her a list? If so, that fits OP's criteria of "letting them fail."

Read "How to Raise an Adult." The whole book is awesome, but she also has a very helpful breakdown of what to expect kids to do on their own, at every age from birth to 18.