Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 13:37     Subject: What to send family whose mom has cancer

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I recently lost my spouse to cancer, after a 24 month period of illness. UberEats / DoorDash / GrubHub were the best, because we could use it when and how we wanted. It can also be nice to just unexpectedly drop off a treat (e.g. cookies you just baked, some nice fruit you picked up, etc.). So sorry your friend is going through this.


I am so, so sorry for your loss. May their memory be a blessing.


Thank you!
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 08:27     Subject: What to send family whose mom has cancer

I would send bagels, cream cheese, lox and fresh fruit. Always a hit.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 08:26     Subject: Re:What to send family whose mom has cancer

1.) Find out if there is a Meal Train

2.) See what their comfort level is. I know a few families dealing with this right now, and some are very private and some are very public and don't mind people knowing.

3.) Cannot go wrong with an UberEats or DoorDash gift card

4.) I've heard of packing a bag full of lunchbox snacks, drinks, etc. Helpful for avoiding last-minute grocery runs and making sure kids can help themselves to snacks, but can also be nice to have things on hand for when they're not up for a full meal but need to eat.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2024 08:14     Subject: What to send family whose mom has cancer

Anonymous wrote:I agree that whatever you make really well would be such a nice gesture!

When I was going through hard times, I had so many friends who said "Let me know if you need anything!" Some friends came through and others did not...

One friend's DH is a chef. I was like, Oh the kids love that penne vodka DH makes, maybe one day he could make some, just for the kids, for dinner. She was like, Oh he's not feeling well- yes we'll do it, but give me a few days, she hemmed and hawed.... That's fine, but I felt like an idiot for asking.

Another time I was supposed to be in charge of Door Decorating because I am the class parent. In the midst of my dad suddenly dying and my cancer diagnosis, I asked a friend if she could be in the charge of collecting donations and help with the decor. She was like, Oh I'll see, more hemming and hawing! .... eventually she collected the money and we both did the decorating.

But again, I felt dumb taking people up on their offers of help, and yeah a little angry that during a hard time they could say anything to me other than, Yes of course whatever you need.

Just go in there and help. I vote for overstepping. (I'm a single mom so maybe it's different if a spouse is there managning everything)

Be there.


Agree with this. I know I will sound ungrateful, but many people use the words, “let me know how I can help,” and I believe they mean them, but when you actually do ask for help, they hem and haw because they are busy with their own life and needs. Another vote for just stepping in and doing when you really want to help.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2024 00:45     Subject: What to send family whose mom has cancer

Anonymous wrote:There is lasagne love - I loved the lasagne friends made after I had a baby during COVID.

Also, if in this area, STW Cleaners does a free cleaning for anyone with a cancer diagnosis.


Lasagna Love is a free service, so you can donate to them and nominate your friend but your friend will still have to put in the request themselves.