OP let your daughter go ahead with whatever plans she has for you. Do not stop her and make her celebrate grandma instead. It isn’t grandma’s holiday. Grandma’s but can be kissed on other holidays.

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why everyone makes this big stressful to-do about Mother's Day. It ends up being so much back and forth and work.

This year, tell everyone that your family will stay home because it's one of the rare years where your husband is home on Mother's Day weekend. Call your mothers on the actual day, wish them well, and if you're great children, send them a gift ahead of time they can open the Friday or Saturday before the actual day.

Done and done.

The people who make a BFD out of Mother's Day probably also make a huge to-do out of their birthdays like a bunch of preschoolers. Are these people so insignificant every other day that they act like this? It's bizarre. And this isn't about active/inactive motherhood. Mother's Day just isn't a huge deal. Demand better from our partners the other 364 days of the year so it doesn't all come down to this one day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since the husband is actually free this weekend shouldn't he get first dibs on the Saturday to see his mom with the kids if he wants since she typically doesn't get that? We have no idea how often the grandmother's see any of the kids, how far away they are, etc. Why should any of us know better? Just let the husband decide what to do on his rare weekend off.

It’s Mother’s Day not grandmothers day! Grandma can see the kids on any of the other 365 days a year. It’s just ridiculous that these boomer grandmothers keep trying to co opt Mothers Day as their own. Just no.

I have adult kids and just can not imagine expecting them to cater to me instead of the actual active mother on Mother’s Day. I would be embarrassed to behave this way.

Saturday is not Mother's Day.

At 16:33 - do you do anything for your boomer mom on Mother’s Day? Since she is an “inactive mom”? If she is alive what do you do?

Anonymous wrote:Since the husband is actually free this weekend shouldn't he get first dibs on the Saturday to see his mom with the kids if he wants since she typically doesn't get that? We have no idea how often the grandmother's see any of the kids, how far away they are, etc. Why should any of us know better? Just let the husband decide what to do on his rare weekend off.

It’s Mother’s Day not grandmothers day! Grandma can see the kids on any of the other 365 days a year. It’s just ridiculous that these boomer grandmothers keep trying to co opt Mothers Day as their own. Just no.

I have adult kids and just can not imagine expecting them to cater to me instead of the actual active mother on Mother’s Day. I would be embarrassed to behave this way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You split Sat between your mom and his. One mom gets brunch together and the other gets dinner together. Sunday it’s just you and the kids.

My parents are a day-long drive. Would it be horrible to send him without our kids?

He either goes the following weekend or without the kids. He lets his mother pick which she prefers. And next time this happens you see your mom either without the kids or on the following weekend, and his mom gets to see him and the kids on the Saturday before Mother’s Day.

Anonymous wrote:The op is an idiot.

So are a lot of the commenters especially the one who thinks all boomers must be like her parents.

The op is an idiot.

Since the husband is actually free this weekend shouldn't he get first dibs on the Saturday to see his mom with the kids if he wants since she typically doesn't get that? We have no idea how often the grandmother's see any of the kids, how far away they are, etc. Why should any of us know better? Just let the husband decide what to do on his rare weekend off.

I don't understand why everyone makes this big stressful to-do about Mother's Day. It ends up being so much back and forth and work.

This year, tell everyone that your family will stay home because it's one of the rare years where your husband is home on Mother's Day weekend. Call your mothers on the actual day, wish them well, and if you're great children, send them a gift ahead of time they can open the Friday or Saturday before the actual day.

Done and done.

To the poster who is knocking “boomers,” I hope you get your super special brunch, spa gift card, and perfume on Sunday because you should be honored because it’s soooooooooo hard to be a young mom, and the heck with the grandmas. You sound like a lovely mom and I hope you raise kids just like you, so they will treat you just like . . . Oh wait.

Each of you takes a kid and sees respective moms on Saturday. You all stay home Sunday. Easy peasy. If anyone gets pissy remind them that’s it’s a Hallmark holiday and that you can’t all be everywhere when everyone wants it and so everyone can’t be “ honored” at once. Unless everyone simply agrees to a BBQ where everyone attends. Which it’s easiest and I’m all for easiest.

You say he almost always works Mother's Day weekend. I think that's a reason for him to prioritize his mom this year on Saturday when he doesn't have to work - including taking the kids, if that's what she wants.

Sunday can be for your nuclear family.

Pick a weekend sometime soon when you're solo with the kids and drive to visit your mom.

Anonymous wrote:He visits his mom Saturday no kids.
You visit your mom Saturday with kids.
Sunday everyone stays home and you have a family day.

If her mom has gotten the kids every previous Mother’s Day wouldn’t it make sense for his mom to get them this year?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you focus on your mom and his mom this weekend.Then claim his next weekend off as your own personal Mother's Day weekend and enjoy it as you wish. Who cares what the calendar says.

Why on earth would they do this? Why is his mother more important than OP and her daughter? If it’s just a calendar day then why give up everything to celebrate the boomers instead of the younger mother?

I'm sorry, but the focus on mothers with grown adult children rather than mothers with young kids is ridiculous. OP, you said your daughter has grand plans for this mothers day for the first time. As of you stay home Sunday. As for how to see the grandmothers, there's no reason your husband (and you) can't take the kids to see them some other weekend(s). If, as some PPs say, the calendar doesn't matter for you (and I agree with that), it doesn't matter for them either.