Of course you don’t swear at your kids. I think you know this. Don’t dig yourself in during an argument with your wife just to insist you’re right.

We swear, I have been sworn at by my white collar parents at home growing up and do swear with my kids in private. NBD.

I don't berate them and go on and on but we laugh/joke about calling it as we see it.

Your wife sounds a bit precious.

Anonymous wrote:MC parents never swore at us. We never swear at our kid. Swearing is reserved for traffic, malfunctioning computers, and constructing IKEA furniture.

+1

Calling a child an a$$hole in any circumstances is completely unacceptable.

Anonymous wrote:This is why kids are so screwed up. Apparently when a kid is an a-hole you can't let them know. Obviously you don't want to be swearing at your kids day and night but c'mon you should call out bad behavior. If my kid does something I'll say that was really stupid. If they have a bad attitude ill tell them you're being a jackass.

You can discipline your kids without swearing at them. How do you not know this?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.... if it wasn't clear before, I don't intend to do this again. Everyone was kind of shocked I said it, including me. I was pretty sick that day with a cold and allergies, and had an unusually low tolerance for any BS. But I still knew it was wrong and apologized after.

What I'm really curious about is my wife's assertion that parents just don't swear at their kids. Maybe times have changed and we're weeding out the verbal habits of our parents, like they weeded out the physical punishment they got from their parents.

Good parents swear at their kids sometimes. The harsh reality is that sometimes kids ARE a$$holes. We all think it and try to keep it to ourselves, but every once in awhile a parent lets the truth slip.

Agree. We’re all human. It happens.

I don’t swear AT my kids, I swear NEAR my kids.

Anonymous wrote:this really reads like a troll, with words like "traumatized"

And talking about "mentoring" his kid.

I've gotten mad at my kids, and I've yelled on occasion, but I've never sworn at them. I may have gotten extra expressive in explaining why I'm bothered ("That was kind of a dick move, though"), but I don't sweat at them.

My mom called me the b word in 3rd grade. Hopefully your wife recovers.

Anonymous wrote:OP here.... if it wasn't clear before, I don't intend to do this again. Everyone was kind of shocked I said it, including me. I was pretty sick that day with a cold and allergies, and had an unusually low tolerance for any BS. But I still knew it was wrong and apologized after.

What I'm really curious about is my wife's assertion that parents just don't swear at their kids. Maybe times have changed and we're weeding out the verbal habits of our parents, like they weeded out the physical punishment they got from their parents.

Good parents swear at their kids sometimes. The harsh reality is that sometimes kids ARE a$$holes. We all think it and try to keep it to ourselves, but every once in awhile a parent lets the truth slip.

It’s 2024. No most parents don’t swear *at* their kids.

I grew up with a blue collar father who swore like a sailor. He also constantly reminded me behind my mother’s back that he never wanted children and wanted me to disappear.

My grandmother worked in a male dominated field and also swore although never at me. I just overheard it.

I have to consciously make effort not to swear around my kids. I’m not perfect but I do apologize when I slip up.

I try to focus on the problem behavior- in your case, your kid falling behind with schoolwork- rather than the vacant character assignation that you are describing. It’s only going to alienate your kids from you. Is that what you want?

I swear a lot, but not AT my kids.

I think tone probably matters here. “I’m trying to help you organize missing assignments and you’re fighting me and being an ass.” doesn’t seem like a big deal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why kids are so screwed up. Apparently when a kid is an a-hole you can't let them know. Obviously you don't want to be swearing at your kids day and night but c'mon you should call out bad behavior. If my kid does something I'll say that was really stupid. If they have a bad attitude ill tell them you're being a jackass.

But is getting behind on your work and not doing what dad wants when he wants it make the kid the Ahole or the dad?

The dad should have helped the kid identify what went wrong ( too overwhelmed didn't understand the assignment whatever) and the brain storm with the kid what they can do...and then let them handle it.

Assume the kid can make a plan and catch up the work. At a certain age it is no longer the parents' responsability. He has to own it or he will expect others to bail him out.

Do you really believe a person is an ahole if they make mistakes?

I believe A-holes exist.

It’s the pattern of A-hole (or whatever) behavior that makes them it.

Nip it in the bud.

Anonymous wrote:This is why kids are so screwed up. Apparently when a kid is an a-hole you can't let them know. Obviously you don't want to be swearing at your kids day and night but c'mon you should call out bad behavior. If my kid does something I'll say that was really stupid. If they have a bad attitude ill tell them you're being a jackass.

Concur.

Way too many spoiled brats in our hioty toity neighborhood.

Some you can’t even give sports tips to - how to hold a bat- they believe they’re being attacked and traumatized.

Anonymous wrote:This is why kids are so screwed up. Apparently when a kid is an a-hole you can't let them know. Obviously you don't want to be swearing at your kids day and night but c'mon you should call out bad behavior. If my kid does something I'll say that was really stupid. If they have a bad attitude ill tell them you're being a jackass.

But is getting behind on your work and not doing what dad wants when he wants it make the kid the Ahole or the dad?

The dad should have helped the kid identify what went wrong ( too overwhelmed didn't understand the assignment whatever) and the brain storm with the kid what they can do...and then let them handle it.

Assume the kid can make a plan and catch up the work. At a certain age it is no longer the parents' responsability. He has to own it or he will expect others to bail him out.

Do you really believe a person is an ahole if they make mistakes?