Anonymous wrote:You need to step in about the rings and I would suggest this even without Larla in the picture. They aren't dating, they aren't boyfriend/girlfriend. Matching rings is wayyyy too much for this scenario.

As for advice about Jeff, teach your daughter not to waste time on guys who flirt and don't make moves to be something more. Or who are flirty with other girls. It never ends well.

All. Of. This.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please do not let her give him any rings.

OP here. Ugh. I agree, but also I hate this. DD selected and purchased these on her own. Spent $60 of her own money. Now I tell her she shouldn’t give it. There’s a strong possibility that I’m going to be blamed for the outcome of things if I start telling her what to do.

OP, I agree with some of the other posters that you can try to have a conversation with her about it. However, I don’t know that can do much to stop it if she is determined to give the ring to him. I know if I pushed my DD she would still do it. Unfortunately, this is your DD’s life experience to have and you can try to make it easier/gentler but I’m not sure you can stop it entirely.

It’s so hard to watch them go through stuff like this. I’m sorry.

+1 Same for my DD, they don’t trust mom’s advice

Some moms give terrible advice. Like mine.

Why didn’t your DD and Jeff ever get together? Does she like him and was just too chicken to tell him (rings tells me this is likely) or is he firmly in the friend zone and she just liked the attention?

My 16 year old has had numerous friends who are boys since 5th grade. Unless they are gay or have been in serious relationships with one of her girlfriends the whole time there isn’t a SINGLE one of these boys who didn’t express romantic feelings to her at some point. I’ve watched this play out so many times. She’s either involved herself with them and eventually ruined the friendship, or she turned them down and they either maintained their “hoping she changes her mind” boy bsf status or they moved on as soon as they find a girl to date.

I think your daughter probably turned him down in some way (maybe even unintentionally, as shy inexperienced ppl tend to) and now he’s moving on like the last example.

I wish it wasn’t this way. I think these male/female friendships bring a lot of value (and, he may come back to her later…many of my daughters boy bsf have) but you have to be realistic about them.

You can’t fix it though. I’d encourage her to find some other friends asap though.

Anonymous wrote:Agreed with PP. Guys that play games like Jeff are dangerous. She needs to understand this now.

Yes, no rings or significant-type gifts to guy friends.

And she needs “He’s Just Not That Into You.” My sister gave that to me freshman year of college and it was hugely helpful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please do not let her give him any rings.

OP here. Ugh. I agree, but also I hate this. DD selected and purchased these on her own. Spent $60 of her own money. Now I tell her she shouldn’t give it. There’s a strong possibility that I’m going to be blamed for the outcome of things if I start telling her what to do.

OP, I agree with some of the other posters that you can try to have a conversation with her about it. However, I don’t know that can do much to stop it if she is determined to give the ring to him. I know if I pushed my DD she would still do it. Unfortunately, this is your DD’s life experience to have and you can try to make it easier/gentler but I’m not sure you can stop it entirely.

It’s so hard to watch them go through stuff like this. I’m sorry.

+1
Same for my DD, they don’t trust mom’s advice

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I talked to DD today. She does not welcome my input at all, but is going to get matching friendship necklaces instead. As her mom, I’m anxiously awaiting the end of the school year.

I'm the one who suggested best friend necklaces or string bracelets. You've done all you can - she will have to deal with whatever reaction she gets, and you will have to be mature enough to NOT say "I knew this would happen/be a problem...."

String/braided friendship bracelet is the best choice out of the options. Handmade, low key, common.

I keep picturing this “friendship” necklace” to be either a locket or one of those half hearts were the two pieces fit together.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I talked to DD today. She does not welcome my input at all, but is going to get matching friendship necklaces instead. As her mom, I’m anxiously awaiting the end of the school year.

I'm the one who suggested best friend necklaces or string bracelets. You've done all you can - she will have to deal with whatever reaction she gets, and you will have to be mature enough to NOT say "I knew this would happen/be a problem...."

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I talked to DD today. She does not welcome my input at all, but is going to get matching friendship necklaces instead. As her mom, I’m anxiously awaiting the end of the school year.

This…is not the better option.

friendship necklaces are also not appropriate. have her read "the rules".

Anonymous wrote:Ask zendaya

What does this mean?

It’s good that she has moved away from the rings but when you talk to her is there a way to ask why she feels the need to give any sort of matching friendship gifts? As kids get older, this is kind of an odd thing and can make the friend feel uncomfortable. Moreso when the friend is a guy but can also make girls feel weird. It comes across a bit possessive vs a bond.

So glad you moved her out of rings. Necklaces can also have drama but rings are a whole other level.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I talked to DD today. She does not welcome my input at all, but is going to get matching friendship necklaces instead. As her mom, I’m anxiously awaiting the end of the school year.

how is this going to help?

Op here. We are leaving town for the summer!

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I talked to DD today. She does not welcome my input at all, but is going to get matching friendship necklaces instead. As her mom, I’m anxiously awaiting the end of the school year.

how is this going to help?

OP here. I talked to DD today. She does not welcome my input at all, but is going to get matching friendship necklaces instead. As her mom, I’m anxiously awaiting the end of the school year.