Anonymous wrote:Okay, it's pretty clear to me that this was the wrong place to ask this question.

But, might I suggest that those of you who are actually telling a gay person that gay fashion means nothing, especially today, might want to check yourselves before you wreck yourselves? Especially if you have gay kids, maybe try to be more open minded?

Meaning, don't lecture someone about the fashion realities of their own community. Would I give a lecture to black women about what fashion choices mean in their community? No. Would I lecture professors about what professional dress is these days? No. So, don't tell me, as a gay person that being gay is irrelevant to fashion. It's not. I just thought I could start a fun thread about what types of clothing my gay son might enjoy but, oh well, guess this is why we can't have nice things.

Since it came up, here are a few articles on gay fashion that are more recent. Not a passe trend. In fact, an evergreen topic.

https://www.vice.com/en/article/xgxgjn/queer-fashion-ideas
https://www.autostraddle.com/oscars-2024-lgbtq-fashion-red-carpet/
https://www.culturedmag.com/article/2024/02/12/jackson-wiederhoeft-new-york-fashion-week

If you'd prefer 20 articles from 2023, I could google those for you too.

I have a gay kid (girl, though) and my kids have gay friends. I don't think the gay kids dress that differently from the straight kids at this age -- with some exceptions, of course. It's all so mainstream now that there's just not as much coding going on, plus MS kids aren't generally at the point where they are distinguishing themselves with fashion yet. That's just my observation as a straight mom who has had three kids go through MS. I think if you had a fashionista son, you'd know. I also have multiple kids with ADHD and one with ASD-like sensory issues .... and so my perspective is that at that age, if you can find something that is comfortable and hits some key points for them (like the color they like) that will be successful at that age. I know for my kids at that age, they would say "I dunno" until I presented an option or two that they could say "yeah, i guess" or "never, that's the worst, mom". If I were you, I'd start with a pair of slim fit black track pants and either the BR or Uniqlo t in pink, and see what he says.

The BR factory store also has some really cute button down men's shirts (that my gay daughter loves...), so if the tee and jogger look is too casual for his vibe, you can try something like that. But I think that will be more dressy/preppy than most MS boys are wearing ... which is fine for a confident kid who owns his fashion sense and DNGAF what other kids are wearing. But it doesn't sound from your post like he's that kid.

The other point I'd make is that kids these days--all genders, all orientations--spend way more money and time on their hair and skin products. So that may be the way he shows his fashion sense more than clothes. Oh, shoes/sneakers also.

Google Freddie Mercury. Nailed it.

FWIW, my gay, artsy son has always had a "gay esthetic." For my artsy son, that's meant shopping at thrift stores and places like Urban Outfitters. He wears form fitting t-shirts with baggy jeans, dad jeans, vintage clothing, crop tops, even some repurposed women's tops. He's older now, though. Back in MS it was more about vintage clothes and bracelets. Hardly wears any athletic wear because he's never been athletic; those are not "his people" or his look.

It's unclear whether your son identifies with a particular group (normcore, preppy, athletes, artists, goths?). That would determine his style, I guess. But it sounds like he doesn't care about a particular look or a defined style, in which case I would just go the recommendations for the more common plain t shirts and joggers that the straight boys wear.

Start here?

https://bananarepublicfactory.gapfactory.com/browse/product.do?pid=532967881&vid=1&tid=bfpl000035&kwid=1&ap=7&gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIkrn4-q7bhQMVW2FHAR2WHwk_EAQYASABEgLYNPD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds#pdp-page-content

Leather, lots of leather

I think you need to work on his unwillingness to go shopping and try things on because it's something he needs to learn to do and so you don’t waste a bunch of time and money. Use whatever strategies have worked for getting him to try to do non preferred things.

Maybe try a relatively short trip to Old Navy at a not busy time plus getting a meal or snack out. Tell him it's great that he's growing up and developing a sense of style, and the next step is to ease into clothes shopping.

Otherwise you have no hope of bridging the gap between comfy and something more structured looking (if that's what he's going for).

Anonymous wrote:OP here again:
I realize I didn't really say what I'm asking, which is: what is appropriate for a 13 year old boy, fairly comfortable and not hopelessly uncool. He's not feminine at all, but he does like pink. So, that's what I've got for you to work with.

Track pants and hoodies/t-shirts. There are a lot of mens pink tshirts/hoodies - he needs to figure out what shade of pink he likes. He could start small with pink socks if he wants to dip his toe in the pool.