I have a friend who pays for all this for her daughter and she makes it seem somehow unavoidable and part of having a daughter.

It’s not. Grow a pair of balls and be the adult.

Dermatologists weigh in in this article that most of it is not necessary and may be unsafe:

How worried should we be about the Drunk Elephant tweens?https://www.washingtonpost.com/style/2024/03/04/tween-skin-care-obsession-drunk-elephant-sephora-ulta/

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes you are crazy for endorsing it.

She's 16 let her get a job to pay for those things.

We could easily afford that stuff, you want it get a job.

And to all the answers "my kids job is school", yes we agree school comes first but if you raise a well balanced kid they can do both.

Every kid needs to learn how to work for someone.

Thanks for the reply. She has a part time job but doesn’t make nearly enough to pay for all of the stuff listed above (for example, haircuts alone can be like $350). However, she does spend most of her money on these items.

That’s insane. I see nothing wrong with her wanting to look her best, but she needs to use less expensive stuff. You are not showing her any sort of money management skills. Stop indulging her.

Anonymous wrote:She needs to make a spreadsheet of current products and their purpose and then the drugstore alternatives, all with prices.

You give her the basic drugstore amount and then she can decide priorities, using money from a job or birthdays for the rest. Hopefully she realizes that many of these products are not necessary and may be harmful. Does she realize her skin is get largest organ and that she's absorbing all those chemicals? I'd ask her to look up the products on the EWG website. It's not perfect, but it does let you see that most cosmetic ingredients have not been proven safe.

The other big issue to figure out is why she is so impressionable. Kids who get used to blindly following social media trends are vulnerable.

So true! And as a result, they often turn into mean girls.

She needs to make a spreadsheet of current products and their purpose and then the drugstore alternatives, all with prices.

You give her the basic drugstore amount and then she can decide priorities, using money from a job or birthdays for the rest. Hopefully she realizes that many of these products are not necessary and may be harmful. Does she realize her skin is get largest organ and that she's absorbing all those chemicals? I'd ask her to look up the products on the EWG website. It's not perfect, but it does let you see that most cosmetic ingredients have not been proven safe.

The other big issue to figure out is why she is so impressionable. Kids who get used to blindly following social media trends are vulnerable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I buy expensive products for my household. We share some of the stuff, and I introduce them to the finer things in life. In college, I want them to focus on their studies, interships and jobs, so I am also willing to pay, within reason, for a limited amount of quality clothes and products.

If they want to keep that up when they've graduated, they need to get good jobs and invest wisely.

What I don't want them to do is squander their money on fast fashion that falls apart after a season, or products that make them break out, or toxic crap.

You sound like the mom of my college roommate who sent her a box of Paul Mitchell haircare products every month. Mom also tried to cut off that gravy train at graduation. Ask me how well that went.

How well that went? I know the answer, but I want to hear the story.

You’re helping her be high maintenance. I let my DD whiten her teeth for HS graduation, and not before. Two face moisturizers, max.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes you are crazy for endorsing it.

She's 16 let her get a job to pay for those things.

We could easily afford that stuff, you want it get a job.

And to all the answers "my kids job is school", yes we agree school comes first but if you raise a well balanced kid they can do both.

Every kid needs to learn how to work for someone.

Thanks for the reply. She has a part time job but doesn’t make nearly enough to pay for all of the stuff listed above (for example, haircuts alone can be like $350). However, she does spend most of her money on these items.

$350 for a teen haircut? Lady, you are crazy. There is no way you should be allowing this. Even with her own money. If my kid wanted to throw (her own) money away like that, we’d be having a lot of conversations about the value of money, learning to save, how to treat yourself within your budget, things you are giving up, etc. To me, far worse than the crazy spending on beauty products is the lack of money sense with which you will be seeing her out into the world.

$350 for a haircut is ridiculous. You’ve started these habits though, it’s not her fault.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes you are crazy for endorsing it.

She's 16 let her get a job to pay for those things.

We could easily afford that stuff, you want it get a job.

And to all the answers "my kids job is school", yes we agree school comes first but if you raise a well balanced kid they can do both.

Every kid needs to learn how to work for someone.

Thanks for the reply. She has a part time job but doesn’t make nearly enough to pay for all of the stuff listed above (for example, haircuts alone can be like $350). However, she does spend most of her money on these items.

$350 for a haircut? Why would YOU pay for that? This is your fault for allowing this. Give her a limit and let her use her own money to fund the rest.

She can get a job to fund her habits.

Anonymous wrote:I buy expensive products for my household. We share some of the stuff, and I introduce them to the finer things in life. In college, I want them to focus on their studies, interships and jobs, so I am also willing to pay, within reason, for a limited amount of quality clothes and products.

If they want to keep that up when they've graduated, they need to get good jobs and invest wisely.

What I don't want them to do is squander their money on fast fashion that falls apart after a season, or products that make them break out, or toxic crap.

You sound like the mom of my college roommate who sent her a box of Paul Mitchell haircare products every month. Mom also tried to cut off that gravy train at graduation. Ask me how well that went.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s really sad how the beauty industry has gotten their claws into so many young women, who really don’t need all these products at all.

And dumb ass parents allow it.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes you are crazy for endorsing it.

She's 16 let her get a job to pay for those things.

We could easily afford that stuff, you want it get a job.

And to all the answers "my kids job is school", yes we agree school comes first but if you raise a well balanced kid they can do both.

Every kid needs to learn how to work for someone.

Thanks for the reply. She has a part time job but doesn’t make nearly enough to pay for all of the stuff listed above (for example, haircuts alone can be like $350). However, she does spend most of her money on these items.

What?! You both are insane. She better marry rich immediately out of college, no way she is affording the lifestyle she demands now

The girl is clearly headed for relationship issues.

Anonymous wrote:It’s really sad how the beauty industry has gotten their claws into so many young women, who really don’t need all these products at all.

Agree!