Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think you both need to do some serious thinking while he’s on this trip. I never understand why people want to partner with people they argue with all the time. A successful relationship shouldn’t be that volatile.
OP here. I think we argue a lot for a combination of reasons. 1) I think I have attachment issues due to a very "unsafe" feeling childhood with a lot of benign neglect and volatile parents 2) He does a lot of things that make me feel unsafe, like talking to girls he used to hook up with, snapchatting girls, etc. He lets me see his phone whenever so it's not that he's actually cheating with these women but it still drives me up a wall, I lash out, etc. And whenever I retreat from the relationship and want space (like sleeping in a separate bed) it really triggers him in response. In a way we bring out the worst in each other.
Anonymous wrote:I think you both need to do some serious thinking while he’s on this trip. I never understand why people want to partner with people they argue with all the time. A successful relationship shouldn’t be that volatile.
Anonymous wrote:Most men just want peace and a certain amount of agreeableness to feel solid about the relationship. The arguing and disagreement is stressful to him. He doesn’t want that to be his life, OP, and neither should you.
The reason why you argue isn’t at issue. Of course you think you have ample reasons. The question is whether that matters.
And I’d say no because he just wants peace.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Most men just want peace and a certain amount of agreeableness to feel solid about the relationship. The arguing and disagreement is stressful to him. He doesn’t want that to be his life, OP, and neither should you.
The reason why you argue isn’t at issue. Of course you think you have ample reasons. The question is whether that matters.
And I’d say no because he just wants peace.
Texting other women and ex girlfriends certainly qualifies as "ample reasons". Stop downplaying these issues
Anonymous wrote:Most men just want peace and a certain amount of agreeableness to feel solid about the relationship. The arguing and disagreement is stressful to him. He doesn’t want that to be his life, OP, and neither should you.
The reason why you argue isn’t at issue. Of course you think you have ample reasons. The question is whether that matters.
And I’d say no because he just wants peace.