Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dc is torn between two schools. One is 20/25k cheaper. Can we sway them to that one as a tiebreaker? I don't want to cause resentment.

Yes, you may. In fact, if you're paying, you can even make financial support conditional on them attending the cheaper school

Nope. Not fair. Not if OP allowed the application to the more expensive school with full awareness of costs at the time the application.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the difference money you will be paying or loans they will have to pay back?

This would be the issue in our house. We’ve been clear about what we’re willing to pay since our kids were old enough to be talking about college. If mine choose the more expensive, it would be on their dime. All things being equal besides cost means that I’d be wasting six figures over the course of their college education and I’m never doing that. It’s not even a money issue. It’s that my 17 or 18 year old is not spending $100k of my money on something they could get for less just because they want to.

I absolutely love this.

I think it’s sad if parents are that wealthy and leading that lifestyle.

I may be wealthy but my kids are not and they are not wasting my money. And I am wealthy because I don’t make stupid decisions. I love my kids which is why I teach them to live within their means and not mine.

if you've been clear about money from the jump, I'd give them the option. Like, "if you want to take the pricier one, we'll split the difference with you: we'll pay 10k and you take on 10k. "

we've gone to an extreme "all loans are bad" but having 40k in student debt seems to me to be a lot like my 20k in debt in 1990: perfectly manageable and retired that debt before I was 30.

Anonymous wrote:Schools have net price calculators. If you can’t afford the school that is 25K more expensive, why didn’t you tell your kid that when they were applying?

You never know how much aid or scholarship money you will get. Plus, I don't run around buying the most expensive version of something just because I can afford it, especially if we're talking about 100 grand.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the difference money you will be paying or loans they will have to pay back?

This would be the issue in our house. We’ve been clear about what we’re willing to pay since our kids were old enough to be talking about college. If mine choose the more expensive, it would be on their dime. All things being equal besides cost means that I’d be wasting six figures over the course of their college education and I’m never doing that. It’s not even a money issue. It’s that my 17 or 18 year old is not spending $100k of my money on something they could get for less just because they want to.

I absolutely love this.

I think it’s sad if parents are that wealthy and leading that lifestyle.

And I think it’s sad that people blow so much unnecessary money on college for either bragging rights or so they don’t disappoint their child.

There. I guess we’re even.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the difference money you will be paying or loans they will have to pay back?

This would be the issue in our house. We’ve been clear about what we’re willing to pay since our kids were old enough to be talking about college. If mine choose the more expensive, it would be on their dime. All things being equal besides cost means that I’d be wasting six figures over the course of their college education and I’m never doing that. It’s not even a money issue. It’s that my 17 or 18 year old is not spending $100k of my money on something they could get for less just because they want to.

If you are that wealthy this makes no sense.

DP
Sure it does. Some wealthy people don’t like to throw money away. I certainly don’t.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the difference money you will be paying or loans they will have to pay back?

This would be the issue in our house. We’ve been clear about what we’re willing to pay since our kids were old enough to be talking about college. If mine choose the more expensive, it would be on their dime. All things being equal besides cost means that I’d be wasting six figures over the course of their college education and I’m never doing that. It’s not even a money issue. It’s that my 17 or 18 year old is not spending $100k of my money on something they could get for less just because they want to.

I absolutely love this.

I think it’s sad if parents are that wealthy and leading that lifestyle.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the difference money you will be paying or loans they will have to pay back?

This would be the issue in our house. We’ve been clear about what we’re willing to pay since our kids were old enough to be talking about college. If mine choose the more expensive, it would be on their dime. All things being equal besides cost means that I’d be wasting six figures over the course of their college education and I’m never doing that. It’s not even a money issue. It’s that my 17 or 18 year old is not spending $100k of my money on something they could get for less just because they want to.

If you are that wealthy this makes no sense.

I think some of this comes down to what you have been saying to them all along.

If you've been saying "we can pay for any school you choose", or "we have a $50K budget, you need to stay under that" (and the schools are $50K and $27K) or nothing at all, then it probably will seem unfair to your kid if you suddenly say "you don't get to choose".

On the other hand, if you've been saying "money will be one of the factors you consider" or "the goal is to get the cost as low as possible" or "we might be able to stretch to $50K, but only if there's not another solid option that's more affordable", then they've been prepared and it shouldn't be surprising.

I agree that if you are in the top category and now have regrets, I might talk about other uses for the money at the bottom school. So, maybe it makes sense to say "you won't need to get a job freshman year" or "This school would mean we could afford a summer study abroad" or "we can contribute more to grad school" or whatever.

We were clear with our DCs from the beginning that they had a certain amount in their 529. They could pick a school that would have them take loans if it cost more than the amount in their 529, or they could pick a school that used up most or all of that money, or they could pick a school that left them money in their 529 for grad school. Both picked the middle option but it was a factor as they were applying.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the difference money you will be paying or loans they will have to pay back?

This would be the issue in our house. We’ve been clear about what we’re willing to pay since our kids were old enough to be talking about college. If mine choose the more expensive, it would be on their dime. All things being equal besides cost means that I’d be wasting six figures over the course of their college education and I’m never doing that. It’s not even a money issue. It’s that my 17 or 18 year old is not spending $100k of my money on something they could get for less just because they want to.

I absolutely love this.

Yes.

Anonymous wrote:Is the difference money you will be paying or loans they will have to pay back?

This would be the issue in our house. We’ve been clear about what we’re willing to pay since our kids were old enough to be talking about college. If mine choose the more expensive, it would be on their dime. All things being equal besides cost means that I’d be wasting six figures over the course of their college education and I’m never doing that. It’s not even a money issue. It’s that my 17 or 18 year old is not spending $100k of my money on something they could get for less just because they want to.

I would offer the savings for grad school.

Anonymous wrote:Dc is torn between two schools. One is 20/25k cheaper. Can we sway them to that one as a tiebreaker? I don't want to cause resentment.

Yes, you may. In fact, if you're paying, you can even make financial support conditional on them attending the cheaper school