Anonymous
Post 05/02/2024 22:33     Subject: DS 13 is a nightmare with braces
Anonymous wrote:My son is 13, is on the autism spectrum, and had braces put on about six months ago.

The day we had the braces put on, he had a meltdown the entire day. I had hoped that would be the end of that, but at each adjustment appointment, we find no less than three or four brackets were broken off, and broken wires twice. I am very certain he is either popping them off at school somehow, probably getting a hold of food and snacks he is NOT supposed to have!

I am infuriated with this boy. He doesn't care. He does not think he needs braces. We paid 5,000 dollars and in return, he has something to ruin when he gets mad. I refuse to let him go through life with his teeth like that, though. He has a really bad cross bite and crowding, and are just too horrible to leave alone.

He is on a soccer team, and I threatened to pull him off if he doesn't take care of his braces and tells me he does not are and to just go ahead and do it. The problem is that it is the one thing that I found to get him to regularly exercise, so I really do not want to do that.

How am I going to get thorough this with his attitude?


You don't want to pull him off soccer. But you threatened to and he called your bluff. This is why he doesn't respect you.
Anonymous
Post 05/01/2024 13:53     Subject: DS 13 is a nightmare with braces
Your frustration is really coming through.

Is he the type of kid who is just hard on things in general? I have one like that, he is also autistic, but I think in our case it's just low registration. The same kid broke brackets even on things where it shouldn't really happen, like thinly sliced apples ... was completely on board with treatment and wasn't trying to sabotage.

I think the advice to get on the same team as your kid is solid. Maybe you could take a moment beforehand to see what's triggering you so much about this situation. Is it the money? Or maybe a fear of what will happen if the braces don't work out? (I'm not criticizing either of these triggers, fwiw, I am pretty frugal myself and also have some long term issues because my parents didn't get me braces, so I know they're important.)
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2024 21:44     Subject: DS 13 is a nightmare with braces
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Take the braces off. Try again in a few years when/if he’s ready. You can’t force him to do something (painful) with his body that he doesn’t want to do, and you shouldn’t. This isn’t life-saving medical care.


I’m assuming OP already paid in full for the treatment course


Consider it a tax for not respecting bodily autonomy


This is ridiculous! Parents make decisions for their kids that they aren't happy with all the time, including medical decisions! A 13-year-old is too young to understand the consequences of not getting his teeth fixed. Should we just let kids choose not to get vaccines, take showers, eat their vegetables or brush their teeth? Play video games all day instead of doing their homework?

OP, if you have to cancel treatment, then maybe you should have him pay you back that $5,000 plus interest. Maybe a couple of summers of mowing lawns and he will learn not to disrespect your parental efforts.


His teeth can wait to be straightened though. A cross bite can be fixed from a medical stand point with braces on a few teeth for a few months- not whole set. If the cross bite is causing damage to permanent teeth. Otherwise, the cosmetic aspect can wait until he is ready
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2024 21:20     Subject: DS 13 is a nightmare with braces
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Even if they are careful brackets and wires break.


I would say he is doing it deliberately to try to get the orthodontist to cancel treatment. There is NO WAY that many brackets breaking off at that rate on accident.


My 13 yea riel had braces and never broke a bracket.


You are lucky. Mine had several break off and several wires. We were careful with food. It happens.
Anonymous
Post 04/30/2024 20:55     Subject: DS 13 is a nightmare with braces
Stop talking about it / putting pressure. Completely ignore the braces. Read the book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2024 18:28     Subject: DS 13 is a nightmare with braces
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Take the braces off. Try again in a few years when/if he’s ready. You can’t force him to do something (painful) with his body that he doesn’t want to do, and you shouldn’t. This isn’t life-saving medical care.


I’m assuming OP already paid in full for the treatment course


Consider it a tax for not respecting bodily autonomy


This is ridiculous! Parents make decisions for their kids that they aren't happy with all the time, including medical decisions! A 13-year-old is too young to understand the consequences of not getting his teeth fixed. Should we just let kids choose not to get vaccines, take showers, eat their vegetables or brush their teeth? Play video games all day instead of doing their homework?

OP, if you have to cancel treatment, then maybe you should have him pay you back that $5,000 plus interest. Maybe a couple of summers of mowing lawns and he will learn not to disrespect your parental efforts.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2024 10:09     Subject: DS 13 is a nightmare with braces
Anonymous wrote:I am in a similar situation but with a younger kid and an expander. I am glad to hear from others who stopped treatment. Because i think that might be us too. But for those saying "try again in a few years" do you have actual experience with that? Because my understanding is there is a window of time during development when these treatments are usetul. So if you dont do it, it cant be done later. But I guess there is always something you could do later even if it’s not the original treatment plan.

Its so frustrating!!


I think that’s more true of expanders and headgear than of braces. With anything to do with the palate or jaw, you want to catch them before they finish growing.

But teeth can be moved with braces or aligners after growth has stopped. Best to ask your orthodontist about your particular kid’s situation, though.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2024 21:16     Subject: DS 13 is a nightmare with braces
Anonymous wrote:I am in a similar situation but with a younger kid and an expander. I am glad to hear from others who stopped treatment. Because i think that might be us too. But for those saying "try again in a few years" do you have actual experience with that? Because my understanding is there is a window of time during development when these treatments are usetul. So if you dont do it, it cant be done later. But I guess there is always something you could do later even if its not the original treatment plan.

Its so frustrating!!


Sometimes, there is no winning, isn't there? My younger brother is also on the autism spectrum and has a DEEP overbite. Unfortunately, his dental hygiene was terrible growing up, and it was a constant battle just to get him to brush his teeth. He had to go in to get cavities filled several times a year, and got a crown at 16, and it still took him until his mid twenties to get him to start brushing on his own. Because of this, no orthodontist would even take him as a patient.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2024 20:59     Subject: DS 13 is a nightmare with braces
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hugs! I’m in the same place. Mine is not intentionally popping brackets and breaking wires, but it’s like a tic he can’t stop fooling around with it. Also same on food. I can show him what he can’t eat from the orthodontist, but he like crunchy things. We need them, he is missing adult teeth, and chose a doctor that is full time so we can get in lots, but they are now threatening more charges, which are totally reasonable, but we are giving consequences of no screens next time we have to bring him in early.


Oh, I wish I could find a way to give consequences. I already can't bribe him, and promising consequences does nothing to prevent anything. He has already shown he is willing to have consequences than to cooperate with this orthodontic treatment.


Then maybe you should let him experience the consequences of not fixing his teeth.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2024 20:45     Subject: DS 13 is a nightmare with braces
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Take the braces off. Try again in a few years when/if he’s ready. You can’t force him to do something (painful) with his body that he doesn’t want to do, and you shouldn’t. This isn’t life-saving medical care.


I’m assuming OP already paid in full for the treatment course


If OP’s son is deliberately undermining treatment without fear of punishment or consequences, then you can consider that money lost, because eventually, the orthodontist may very well decide to terminate treatment due to non-compliance if OP does not cut her losses.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2024 17:38     Subject: DS 13 is a nightmare with braces
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Even if they are careful brackets and wires break.


I would say he is doing it deliberately to try to get the orthodontist to cancel treatment. There is NO WAY that many brackets breaking off at that rate on accident.


My 13 yea riel had braces and never broke a bracket.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2024 17:19     Subject: DS 13 is a nightmare with braces
I am in a similar situation but with a younger kid and an expander. I am glad to hear from others who stopped treatment. Because i think that might be us too. But for those saying "try again in a few years" do you have actual experience with that? Because my understanding is there is a window of time during development when these treatments are usetul. So if you dont do it, it cant be done later. But I guess there is always something you could do later even if its not the original treatment plan.

Its so frustrating!!
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2024 16:15     Subject: DS 13 is a nightmare with braces
Anonymous wrote:My 13 year old was terrible as well. It became such an argument and fighting all the time. We finally stopped treatment. He got a retainer to maintain what we started.

I told him we gave him the opportunity and he clearly didn’t want it and so now he can deal with it as an adult.

We are a much more peaceful home now.


Oh and yes, we had paid. It sucked which is why I clearly explained that this was on him going forward.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2024 16:12     Subject: DS 13 is a nightmare with braces
My 13 year old was terrible as well. It became such an argument and fighting all the time. We finally stopped treatment. He got a retainer to maintain what we started.

I told him we gave him the opportunity and he clearly didn’t want it and so now he can deal with it as an adult.

We are a much more peaceful home now.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2024 13:26     Subject: DS 13 is a nightmare with braces
OP, if you post on the Disabilities and Special Needs board, you might get more helpful suggestions. Kids on the spectrum often have different experiences with pain, discomfort, and sensory inputs, so helping them overcome those requires a different approach.

Obviously you can’t tackle this with punishments or incentives, if neither one is a motivator for your kid. But others with kids on the spectrum have been there, and can probably suggest ways to mitigate issues and approach the problem from another angle.