Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:lol
we don’t.

This. We just kind hobble along until they can do for themselves. That’s bleak I know but unless you have a solid crew of other single parents people just don’t get it.

It's sad but true. Mine are now in 6th and 4th and it's a lot easier. But when they're young, it's non-stop and the only true breaks you get are from the co-parent, family, or a sitter. If your financial situation permits it, get an au pair. Or at least some after-school help. I had a wonderful student from Catholic U help me out for a first few months after my divorce and she was magnificent.

Anonymous wrote:I am suddenly and unexpectedly a single parents to two elementary age kids. I work full time and have no family nearby or other reliable village. While I work on longer term solutions, are there drop in classes or events on the weekend that last more than an hour? I’m already overwhelmed and really need a few hours over the weekend to manage life things so I can be a good parent to my kids. I’m in DC and obviously driving a distance defeats some of the purpose. Thank you.

You find a good single friend who might sit for free. I used to do this for two friends but one took advantage by coming home 24 hours later than expected and I was left with a 7 year old and 2 year old twins. That was the end of my helping her.

I couldn’t afford a lot of babysitting every week (because my daycare expenses were so high). For 2 years, I was able to hire one of DC’s awesome teachers to occasionally take him home after school (and drop off some weekends) for a few hours so I could catch up on work or errands. I also hired a few mother’s helpers—young teens (lower cost) to play with DC while I did heavy housework or paperwork.

What I really needed was a reliable weekend daycare center to drop off and leave DC for a few hours. Never found it but I’ve heard some in home daycare providers will offer this weekend service for regular clients.

I also reluctantly relied on TV, mainly Elmo and Curious George dvds, for an uninterrupted hour. Exersaucers are also great to contain and entertain toddlers who can tolerate sitting still.

I rarely traded off sitting because it was too much work and responsibility to watch someone else’s child who didn’t necessarily want to follow any basic rules.

I think you should plan a week long overnight camp for both kids. Elementary is a great age to try this and it will give you much needed time to yourself.

I find that I don’t feel recharged after a few hours with a babysitter since I’m always hyper aware of the time and when I have to be home.

Also, this sounds counterintuitive but I signed my kids up for a lot of sports. I can get some work done during practices and longer games give me a break. It’s easy enough to carpool with other families too. Sometimes I drop off the kids (plus a friend) and I’m free for several hours without paying a sitter. The other family brings them home.

Anonymous wrote:Get a babysitter.

No, SWAP babysitting.

As an SMC, this is how I never paid for a babysitter. You could just put up a notice in your neighborhood newsletter.

If you belong to a church (or other religious organization), I wonder if anyone would help you out…at least until you get a more permanent plan in place?

Is there a yard they can play in while you do stuff from home (on the phone or internet)? Not ideal I know, but fresh air and exercise sure beat “screen time.”

Maybe they take turns choosing where you will go out to dinner if they don’t interrupt you for a certain amount of time (barring emergencies of course).

Anonymous wrote:Where is their father, divorce doesn't stop you from reaching out to him so you two can support each other raise your kids. Be good co-parents.

People like you are so shortsighted.

I am sure there are 100 reasons why she is not pursuing this option.
Stop assuming what other’s lives are like.

Play dates are good (you and another mom can take turns).

Get them in a scouting troop (good for many reasons).

When they are older, Volunteer commitments.

Perhaps weekend classes:like art or a foreign language?

Can you put them in camp during the summer and take a day off from work once every two weeks?

Hire a neighborhood teen who could entertain them for a fun few hours (take them on a picnic? Cook a meal together? Scavenger hunt? Nature hike?)

I almost never got breaks. It was hard. But I was always a single parent, so knew what I had signed up for.

(I did gave a few rare breaks when I went on business trips. I flew family members into town to stay with my child.)

Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:lol
we don’t.

This. We just kind hobble along until they can do for themselves. That’s bleak I know but unless you have a solid crew of other single parents people just don’t get it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where is their father, divorce doesn't stop you from reaching out to him so you two can support each other raise your kids. Be good co-parents.

Maybe she’s a widow you POS

I was thinking that she suddenly got custody of a family member’s kids.

Whatever the reason, it's nobody's business.