Anonymous wrote:"Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style.
If you want to live like this, totally fine! But please don't disparage women who feel differently.Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style."

I'm the person who wrote that and I've got the thickest hair of anyone I know in DC, and it falls below my shoulders. Get a good cut and style that doesn't take forever to do every other day. Learn how to use dry shampoo.

Anonymous wrote:My DH doesn’t care but I care. I’ve lost weight recently and I feel so much better and am more confident. I have to do a lot of public speaking and leading meetings for my job so being comfortable with myself makes a difference. OP do what you want but make sure you aren’t going to be uncomfortable or unhealthy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently stepped it up. Really stepped it up! Lost 25 lbs, bought sexier, more stylish clothes, lingerie, etc., started wearing makeup and taking excellent care of my skin (I previously never had).

DH didn’t care much. He told me I was always the most beautiful woman he ever saw. If anything he gets annoyed if I delay leaving the house while I put on makeup.

I’m sure he appreciates the effort. I know I definitely would but it’s wrong to say “I’m so glad you finally look like you care about yourself”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Clearly, when it comes to illness the expectations are different. If spouses are healthy, I think expectations are warranted.

I don’t think this is clear at all. I haven’t seen it play out this way in real life anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"5 plus years ago I quit wearing makeup. He said I liked when you got all fixed up. I just told him if he didn't like my look he could either stop looking at me or find someone else that cared what he liked."

Wow. I'm a 50-something woman and I'm floored by this. You're actually encouraging him to leave you for someone else because you can't be bothered to spend 15 minutes on basic grooming and primping a day? I can put on eyebrow pencil, mascara, face lotion with a bit of tint and SPF, and lipstick in less than 5 minutes. It takes about 20 minutes to wax and/or tweeze my brows once a week. It takes maybe 10 minutes every other day to dry and style my hair in a basic way.

Some of you should watch old episodes of What Not to Wear to see the examples of outfits that are just as comfortable and easy to put on in the morning as sweatpants.

Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style.
If you want to live like this, totally fine! But please don't disparage women who feel differently.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"5 plus years ago I quit wearing makeup. He said I liked when you got all fixed up. I just told him if he didn't like my look he could either stop looking at me or find someone else that cared what he liked."

Wow. I'm a 50-something woman and I'm floored by this. You're actually encouraging him to leave you for someone else because you can't be bothered to spend 15 minutes on basic grooming and primping a day? I can put on eyebrow pencil, mascara, face lotion with a bit of tint and SPF, and lipstick in less than 5 minutes. It takes about 20 minutes to wax and/or tweeze my brows once a week. It takes maybe 10 minutes every other day to dry and style my hair in a basic way.

Some of you should watch old episodes of What Not to Wear to see the examples of outfits that are just as comfortable and easy to put on in the morning as sweatpants.

Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style.
If you want to live like this, totally fine! But please don't disparage women who feel differently.

I think where it gets difficult is when people change significantly. Men are often looks oriented so it would be hard if OP spouse expects a girly girl with perfect nails, hair, makeup, and heels and suddenly she gains 30 pounds and lives in sweats and crocs.

Anonymous wrote:ExW letting herself go was one of a number of symptoms of us drifting further and further apart. Atypical of most men, I sought marriage counseling for us; she wasn’t interested. Eventually, I left and later remarried. To my knowledge, she’s never dated since that time. Perhaps she just wanted to be on her own.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"5 plus years ago I quit wearing makeup. He said I liked when you got all fixed up. I just told him if he didn't like my look he could either stop looking at me or find someone else that cared what he liked."

Wow. I'm a 50-something woman and I'm floored by this. You're actually encouraging him to leave you for someone else because you can't be bothered to spend 15 minutes on basic grooming and primping a day? I can put on eyebrow pencil, mascara, face lotion with a bit of tint and SPF, and lipstick in less than 5 minutes. It takes about 20 minutes to wax and/or tweeze my brows once a week. It takes maybe 10 minutes every other day to dry and style my hair in a basic way.

Some of you should watch old episodes of What Not to Wear to see the examples of outfits that are just as comfortable and easy to put on in the morning as sweatpants.

Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style.
If you want to live like this, totally fine! But please don't disparage women who feel differently.

I think where it gets difficult is when people change significantly. Men are often looks oriented so it would be hard if OP spouse expects a girly girl with perfect nails, hair, makeup, and heels and suddenly she gains 30 pounds and lives in sweats and crocs.

Anonymous wrote:I recently stepped it up. Really stepped it up! Lost 25 lbs, bought sexier, more stylish clothes, lingerie, etc., started wearing makeup and taking excellent care of my skin (I previously never had).

DH didn’t care much. He told me I was always the most beautiful woman he ever saw. If anything he gets annoyed if I delay leaving the house while I put on makeup.

Anonymous wrote:LOL

I don't care what my husband thinks. I am who I am and he doesn't get a vote on that.

5 plus years ago I quit wearing makeup. He said I liked when you got all fixed up. I just told him if he didn't like my look he could either stop looking at me or find someone else that cared what he liked.

My body is clean. My hair is clean. My clothes are clean and match. My mouth is clean. Well sometimes I do use dirty words.

His appearance ? He needs makeup. LMAO !!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"5 plus years ago I quit wearing makeup. He said I liked when you got all fixed up. I just told him if he didn't like my look he could either stop looking at me or find someone else that cared what he liked."

Wow. I'm a 50-something woman and I'm floored by this. You're actually encouraging him to leave you for someone else because you can't be bothered to spend 15 minutes on basic grooming and primping a day? I can put on eyebrow pencil, mascara, face lotion with a bit of tint and SPF, and lipstick in less than 5 minutes. It takes about 20 minutes to wax and/or tweeze my brows once a week. It takes maybe 10 minutes every other day to dry and style my hair in a basic way.

Some of you should watch old episodes of What Not to Wear to see the examples of outfits that are just as comfortable and easy to put on in the morning as sweatpants.

Not all women want to spend time doing eyebrow pencils and lipstick. And my long thick hair takes way longer than 10 minutes to dry and style.
If you want to live like this, totally fine! But please don't disparage women who feel differently.

Anonymous wrote:I recently stepped it up. Really stepped it up! Lost 25 lbs, bought sexier, more stylish clothes, lingerie, etc., started wearing makeup and taking excellent care of my skin (I previously never had).

DH didn’t care much. He told me I was always the most beautiful woman he ever saw. If anything he gets annoyed if I delay leaving the house while I put on makeup.

Anonymous wrote:"5 plus years ago I quit wearing makeup. He said I liked when you got all fixed up. I just told him if he didn't like my look he could either stop looking at me or find someone else that cared what he liked."

Wow. I'm a 50-something woman and I'm floored by this. You're actually encouraging him to leave you for someone else because you can't be bothered to spend 15 minutes on basic grooming and primping a day? I can put on eyebrow pencil, mascara, face lotion with a bit of tint and SPF, and lipstick in less than 5 minutes. It takes about 20 minutes to wax and/or tweeze my brows once a week. It takes maybe 10 minutes every other day to dry and style my hair in a basic way.

Some of you should watch old episodes of What Not to Wear to see the examples of outfits that are just as comfortable and easy to put on in the morning as sweatpants.