Anonymous wrote:All the dating advice says to not be desperate and filter and only wait until a guy pursues you.

But what do you do if you’re not attractive enough to be noticed by the good guys just by doing your own thing? I find I have to make the first move to show I’m interested and then work hard to keep their interest and show my value.

Just sitting around waiting to be picked doesn’t work if you aren’t attractive and chased by lots of eligible men!

This is so stupid. I told my husband after two dates that I really liked him and didn't want to date anyone else. I said I was ok if he did, I just wasn't going to hide how I felt. I then told him I loved him first. He is the one who first brought up marriage but it wasn't like it was out of left field at the time. We've been together 15 years. I think playing games is stupid. I would rather know how someone feels than try to guess it. That's so dumb and immature.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to get more attractive. Go to the gym, change your diet, change your wardrobe, change your hair style/color, wear some subtle makeup. If you need to get your skin or teeth fixed professionally, do it. You are an adult; time to act like one if you want to get married.

This is OP. I actually already eat incredibly healthfully and while not athletic, I regularly workout by going to barre and pilates and walking plenty.I am slender although a size 4 and 6.

My problem is I have an ugly face. I have an odd and asymmetrical face shape along with a large asymmetrical nose. Even expensive makeup doesn't help!

OP, I had a nose job at age 20 and it was the best decision ever. Just make sure you go to the best surgeon you can find if you go that route. I had boyfriends before but this gave me a lifelong confidence boost.

March with a man who matches your looks and appreciate the other great qualities you both share.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to get more attractive. Go to the gym, change your diet, change your wardrobe, change your hair style/color, wear some subtle makeup. If you need to get your skin or teeth fixed professionally, do it. You are an adult; time to act like one if you want to get married.

This is OP. I actually already eat incredibly healthfully and while not athletic, I regularly workout by going to barre and pilates and walking plenty.I am slender although a size 4 and 6.

My problem is I have an ugly face. I have an odd and asymmetrical face shape along with a large asymmetrical nose. Even expensive makeup doesn't help!

Men are visual creatures, as PP noted. If you don't pass their immediate review, you won't get a second chance.

If you want a high value man, then you need to invest in rhinoplasty. Get three consults with reputable plastic surgeons (see the Beauty forum) and get the surgery done this summer. The consults may result in other recommendations that you aren't considering. Don't put it off. Change your look and improve your chances in the dating world.

Anonymous wrote:I attended an expensive overnight camp for girls. That experience taught me that being attractive can definitely be purchased.

There used to be a nurse practitioner in Bethesda with a practice called “fresh face”. Go see someone like that. There are fillers, Botox, PRP facials, lasers. Sometimes people need something more extensive, like a nose job. Well, if you need it, get it.

Straighten and whiten teeth.

Go to a high-end hairdresser. Get highlights, lowlights, keratin treatment, products, and probably a Revlon blow dry brush or the Dyson airwrap.

Do personal shopper at Nordstrom for a few outfits or read blogs then buy some things.

Join a gym, workout, and clean-up your diet.

Looking good is possible for any woman. It’s just a lot of work.

Some of this is terrible advice and some is great advice.

If a man agrees with all of this I would 200% not date him.

For me exercise and eating well is important.

Hitting the gym to me is a red flag and never indulging is also a HUGE red flag.

Sure if you are OCD and would like to date a type A person who judges you all day long go for it, you might be soul mates.

Exercise is going for a hike, bike riding. Kayaking, pickleball for fun (not competition), yoga.

Fillers? F no,

What I do agree with is you should …

Twice a year, Good a really good hairdresser and learn how to do your hair at every stage of life.

Have a good skincare routine, including the skin all over your body includes sunscreen. is not vanity. This is healthcare.

Go to Nordstrom and have somebody help you pick out clothes or best friend or stylist. Do this once every two years our bodies change clothes change it’s a lot to figure out.

I agree with do yourself a favor if your parents never got your braces and you really really really need them. Good healthcare it’s very expensive. You don’t have to have super white crazy teeth with veneers on the front, but they should be healthy. The healthy teeth, the healthier bodies.

Also be kind when dating.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's only so much you can do about your looks. I totally disagree that beauty can be purchased. What if you just have bad bone structure? Are you supposed to get a plastic surgeon to break your facial bones and reset them? Fillers and good skin isn't going to make an ugly face into a pretty one.

Yes, you can actually restructure your face with various implants and even injectable fillers can adjust your face shape. Never forget that Dixie Chick girl who went from ugly to better. South Korea is well know for amazing reconstructive plastic surgeons too.

Which one??

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to get more attractive. Go to the gym, change your diet, change your wardrobe, change your hair style/color, wear some subtle makeup. If you need to get your skin or teeth fixed professionally, do it. You are an adult; time to act like one if you want to get married.

This is OP. I actually already eat incredibly healthfully and while not athletic, I regularly workout by going to barre and pilates and walking plenty.I am slender although a size 4 and 6.

My problem is I have an ugly face. I have an odd and asymmetrical face shape along with a large asymmetrical nose. Even expensive makeup doesn't help!

OP, I had a nose job at age 20 and it was the best decision ever. Just make sure you go to the best surgeon you can find if you go that route. I had boyfriends before but this gave me a lifelong confidence boost.

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who was not attractive. Some may have even called her ugly. She was fat and had a not pretty face.

She got her eyes and nose job and wore a lot of make up. She ate very well. This friend does hair and makeup better than anyone I know and also dresses the best. The once ugly friend has the best presence when we go out to dinner or to a bar because she presents well. After her first divorce, she got breast implants. This friend who used to be fat and ugly naturally was now stunning with a size 0 shape with huge boobs. She got married for a second time. After she got married, she got very comfortable and most of the time, she was a homebody and gained back a lot of weight. She is now twice divorced.

The reason I tell the story of my friend is that you can absolutely attract more men by making yourself beautiful. It may be harder to keep them.

I’m naturally pretty or was pretty. I put very little effort when I was younger and now at age 45. I have always been confident. The good thing about always wearing minimal makeup is when I do get ready and dressed up, DH is always wowed.

Congratulations.

Anonymous wrote:You need to get more attractive. Go to the gym, change your diet, change your wardrobe, change your hair style/color, wear some subtle makeup. If you need to get your skin or teeth fixed professionally, do it. You are an adult; time to act like one if you want to get married.

This is OP. I actually already eat incredibly healthfully and while not athletic, I regularly workout by going to barre and pilates and walking plenty.I am slender although a size 4 and 6.

My problem is I have an ugly face. I have an odd and asymmetrical face shape along with a large asymmetrical nose. Even expensive makeup doesn't help!

I have a friend who was not attractive. Some may have even called her ugly. She was fat and had a not pretty face.

She got her eyes and nose job and wore a lot of make up. She ate very well. This friend does hair and makeup better than anyone I know and also dresses the best. The once ugly friend has the best presence when we go out to dinner or to a bar because she presents well. After her first divorce, she got breast implants. This friend who used to be fat and ugly naturally was now stunning with a size 0 shape with huge boobs. She got married for a second time. After she got married, she got very comfortable and most of the time, she was a homebody and gained back a lot of weight. She is now twice divorced.

The reason I tell the story of my friend is that you can absolutely attract more men by making yourself beautiful. It may be harder to keep them.

I’m naturally pretty or was pretty. I put very little effort when I was younger and now at age 45. I have always been confident. The good thing about always wearing minimal makeup is when I do get ready and dressed up, DH is always wowed.

Anonymous wrote:Yea, this advice on superficiality is terrible. When you are in a relationship, there will be times when you won’t have your makeup on or when you’re late getting your hair done or getting the skin treatments. I personally love to eat and indulge in nice meals at restaurants with cocktails to start and good bottle of wine w dinner. To hell with what that does to my figure. It’s nice my hubby loves me done up or imperfect. That’s what you want in a relationship. If he’s w you based on superficial things, it ain’t gonna last.

If you take care of your self through improving you diet, your general shape, hair and skin will look better without makeup.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop using the phrase 'high value' for starters.

Seriously. What does this actually mean?

Sounds like she’s not American.

Anonymous wrote:There's only so much you can do about your looks. I totally disagree that beauty can be purchased. What if you just have bad bone structure? Are you supposed to get a plastic surgeon to break your facial bones and reset them? Fillers and good skin isn't going to make an ugly face into a pretty one.

Yes, you can actually restructure your face with various implants and even injectable fillers can adjust your face shape. Never forget that Dixie Chick girl who went from ugly to better. South Korea is well know for amazing reconstructive plastic surgeons too.

You need to get more attractive. Go to the gym, change your diet, change your wardrobe, change your hair style/color, wear some subtle makeup. If you need to get your skin or teeth fixed professionally, do it. You are an adult; time to act like one if you want to get married.

Anonymous wrote:There's only so much you can do about your looks. I totally disagree that beauty can be purchased. What if you just have bad bone structure? Are you supposed to get a plastic surgeon to break your facial bones and reset them? Fillers and good skin isn't going to make an ugly face into a pretty one.

The right hair and make up will

There's only so much you can do about your looks. I totally disagree that beauty can be purchased. What if you just have bad bone structure? Are you supposed to get a plastic surgeon to break your facial bones and reset them? Fillers and good skin isn't going to make an ugly face into a pretty one.