Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My background is the same, op, and my kids are now older teens and above. I don’t know that I handled it well, basically they knew that I had been raised catholic but that’s it, really. We took them on and off to a mainline protestant church when they were younger.

One of my teens said something recently (after a trip to a catholic college) that made me realize fully realize how much they didn’t “get” Catholicism (which is of course makes sense since I left the church and didn’t raise them in it) but it still made me sad.

What did your child say?

Hard to explain but basically it was clear that they didn’t differentiate Catholics from baptists, lutherans, or Presbyterians, etc.

Not in terms of not knowing historical background but just emotionally these were all equivalent to the teen and in the category “religions other than mine.” As I said, hard to explain but sort of painful.

Anonymous wrote:My background is the same, op, and my kids are now older teens and above. I don’t know that I handled it well, basically they knew that I had been raised catholic but that’s it, really. We took them on and off to a mainline protestant church when they were younger.

One of my teens said something recently (after a trip to a catholic college) that made me realize fully realize how much they didn’t “get” Catholicism (which is of course makes sense since I left the church and didn’t raise them in it) but it still made me sad.

What did your child say?

My background is the same, op, and my kids are now older teens and above. I don’t know that I handled it well, basically they knew that I had been raised catholic but that’s it, really. We took them on and off to a mainline protestant church when they were younger.

One of my teens said something recently (after a trip to a catholic college) that made me realize fully realize how much they didn’t “get” Catholicism (which is of course makes sense since I left the church and didn’t raise them in it) but it still made me sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear what you are saying OP, but Catholicism is not a pick and choose religion. You're either all in or you're not and if you're not, I suggest trying one of the other Christian religions. And for the person calling us "right wing nutters", we (the right wing nutters) are adhering to the catechism of the Catholic church and fully engaged in all of the sacraments, including confession. Remember, Jesus dined with sinners, but he also told them to "turn away from sin and return to the Gospel".

No you are RW nutters who want to push your agenda on the rest of us.

OP either you want to support the Catholic doctrine ie Church's stance on everything, or not. There is no in-between.

As of right now it is a free country and you can do as you wish.

Not sure why you want to raise you children in something that automatically says they were born in sin. But hey you do you like I said free country.

NP—but if this is a genuine question, I’m happy to answer that:
It’s because God is real, the truth is important, and I care about my children’s salvation enough to point them to grace through Jesus Christ—who said “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

This is an argument for Protestantism.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I’m an atheist who was raised extremely Catholic, including Catholic schools, who went to college and finally got the confidence to publicly express the atheism I’d believed in since I was about nine or ten. I didn’t go to Mass for years. I did baptize my kids using my mom’s church, but that was more of a gift to my mom than anything.

But then I moved my kids to Catholic school after a disastrous public school experience. The school and community was incredibly welcoming to my kid and the family. The familiar academic and behavioral rigor was so welcome. I had this strong sense of homecoming. My kids embraced it, even though I’d raised them atheist.

I don’t go to Mass regularly, but I do go periodically now. And I really feel a sense of peace after. I have not gone to Confession, but I do take the Eucharist. I suspect that as I age, I will go more.

I don’t know what to do about the actual belief in God part. I remember questioning the existence of God as a very young child. I didn’t even have the words to understand it, but once I learned the term “atheist,” it resonated. I cannot make myself believe in God. But, I feel peace and connection to my community and family when I go to Mass, and for now that is enough.

All of this is to say that if you are feeling pulled to the Church, there might be a reason and it’s okay to embrace that. Go to different churches and attend Mass and see how it resonates. You don’t have to be all in immediately.

If you don’t believe in God, and do not go to confession, you shouldn’t be going to communion. Any priest will tell you that. It’s good that you are going to mass and leaving your heart open (and for this I applaud you), but receiving communion as a current non-believer is a mortal sin.

+1. I hope these are just bored trolls but you never know on here. If you're agnostic or atheist, why would you ever be in a church? Not adding up. No atheist or agnostic person I've ever met would ever willingly and randomly go to Mass and take communion. It would be literally the last thing they'd ever do on a Sunday morning. :roll:

There are many atheists and agnostics every week at church, sorry to break it to you.

Not everyone has as rigid a worldview as you do. You cannot control everyone’s inner thoughts, as much as you want to do so.

Yes, just a coincidence you and the PP are self-described agnostic/atheist, still going to Sunday mass, still taking communion, and participating in a thread like this on the most sacred Christian holiday. You sound super disengaged with Catholicism and totally not some bored atheist troll on the religion forum on Easter weekend. :roll: Goodbye.

You sound like the only troll on this thread. The rest of the posters have been thoughtful.

If you're agnostic or atheist, you're trolling the church and congregation when you attend Mass, especially if you're taking communion. But you know that, of course, which is why you're driving the point home trolling a religious forum on an Easter weekend.

Oh stop being so ridiculous. People who have never learned that they can’t control what other people think are so tiresome.

Anonymous wrote:I was raised Roman Catholic and am struggling with if/how I want to raise my future children when it comes to the church. I left the church halfway through college and my siblings and parents have all left as well. My parents (who went to catholic school with nuns as teachers, made us go to CCD, midnight mass, Easter vigil, give things up for Lent, etc.) are now very vocally critical of the church. I share all their concerns...but I still feel this nostalgia for the whole thing. I don't know how else to explain it.

It makes me sad to imagine my future kids not being baptized, lighting Advent candles, going to fish fries during Lent, having first holy communions. Being Catholic was just such a big part of my family culture and was for generations. It feels weird to just stop that. The only family traditions that my family of origin has are all related to Catholicism in some way. Without those things I feel like I won't have any traditions that tie me and my children to our ancestors.

I do go to mass by myself very occasionally just to feel close to my deceased grandparents who were devout. I always leave feeling very melancholy, like I'm an interloper who shouldn't be there and is disrespecting people who are there for the "right" reasons. I don't know if that would get better or worse if I brought my kids. My actual faith is probably best described as agnostic but with a love of rituals?

Does anyone have any advice? Similar experience?
Please know that I mean no disrespect to any practicing Catholics. I'm posting with genuine sadness and conflict in my heart.

Your DNA ties you to your ancestors. Why don't you take up genealogy and teach your future kids about those people's stories. They were more than lighted candles and fish dinners. There are so many different religions in my family's history.

OP: I think you are getting way ahead of yourself worrying about the religious upbringing (or not) of children who do not exist and may never exist.

You say you feel drawn to religious practices and traditions but conflicted about, for want of a better word, church management and probably some “hot button” issues as well.

Welcome to the club.

What has helped me is to avoid becoming distracted by anything that does not immediately and directly concern me and my spiritual and moral relationship with God and others. Put another way, I make an effort to avoid intellectualizing in favor of trying to develop an interior life focused on the God of my experience. Before getting all wrapped up in debates about Church teaching think it is also important to (1) actually know the teaching and its nuances; (2) understand the philosophical, theological, traditional and human background of the teaching; and (3) understand moral discernment and the role of a well-formed conscience.

At its core, Catholicism teaches that we were made to know, love and serve God in this life and enjoy eternal happiness in God’s presence in the next; that people are weakened by the sin of our forbears, which makes us want what is not really good for us and frequently unable to tell the difference; that God sent Jesus to redeem us and show us how to live; that Jesus established the Church as a community of believers whose job it is to help each other get to heaven; that the people who make up the Church will always be vulnerable to defects in understanding and make mistakes and even do evil; that forgiveness is available to one who is sincerely sorry; and that God will guide those who seek the divine will with a sincere heart.

You might find it helpful to find an experienced spiritual director to talk over these matters. Getting in concrete service activity is another way to actualize belief and meet good people along the way.

Being Catholic is about Faith. Faith is a living turning over of self to God. Christian experience is the fruit of a life lived in obedience to Faith.

Here is something Pope Benedict XVI had to say:

“Being Christian is not the result of an ethical choice or a lofty idea, but the encounter with an event, a person,
which gives life a new horizon and a decisive direction. [T]rue knowledge of God consist[s] in a personal, profound experience of Jesus Christ and of his love. And, dear brothers and sisters, this is true for every Christian: faith is first and foremost a personal, intimate
encounter with Jesus, it is having an experience of his closeness, his friendship and his love. It is in this way that we
learn to know him ever better, to love him and to follow him more and more. May this happen to each one of us! Christianity is not an intellectual system, a collection of dogmas, or a moralism. Christianity is an encounter, a love
story; it is an event.” For each one of you, as for the apostles, the encounter with the divine Teacher who calls you friends may be the
beginning of an extraordinary venture: that of becoming apostles among your contemporaries to lead them to live
their own experience of friendship with God, made Man, with God who has made himself my friend. We, however, have a different goal: the Son of God, the true man. He is the measure of true humanism. An “adult”
faith is not a faith that follows the trends of fashion and the latest novelty; a mature adult faith is deeply rooted in
friendship with Christ. It is this friendship that opens us up to all that is good and gives us a criterion by which to
distinguish the true from the false, and deceit from truth. Are we not perhaps all afraid in some way? If we let Christ enter fully into our lives, if we open ourselves totally to
him, are we not afraid that He might take something away from us? Are we not perhaps afraid to give up something
significant, something unique, something that makes life so beautiful? Do we not then risk ending up diminished
and deprived of our freedom? . . . No! If we let Christ into our lives, we lose nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing of
what makes life free, beautiful and great. No! Only in this friendship are the doors of life opened wide. Only in this
friendship is the great potential of human existence truly revealed. Only in this friendship do we experience beauty
and liberation. And so, today, with great strength and great conviction, on the basis of long personal experience of
life, I say to you, dear young people: Do not be afraid of Christ! He takes nothing away, and he gives you everything.
When we give ourselves to him, we receive a hundredfold in return. Yes, open, open wide the doors to Christ – and
you will find true life. Amen.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I’m an atheist who was raised extremely Catholic, including Catholic schools, who went to college and finally got the confidence to publicly express the atheism I’d believed in since I was about nine or ten. I didn’t go to Mass for years. I did baptize my kids using my mom’s church, but that was more of a gift to my mom than anything.

But then I moved my kids to Catholic school after a disastrous public school experience. The school and community was incredibly welcoming to my kid and the family. The familiar academic and behavioral rigor was so welcome. I had this strong sense of homecoming. My kids embraced it, even though I’d raised them atheist.

I don’t go to Mass regularly, but I do go periodically now. And I really feel a sense of peace after. I have not gone to Confession, but I do take the Eucharist. I suspect that as I age, I will go more.

I don’t know what to do about the actual belief in God part. I remember questioning the existence of God as a very young child. I didn’t even have the words to understand it, but once I learned the term “atheist,” it resonated. I cannot make myself believe in God. But, I feel peace and connection to my community and family when I go to Mass, and for now that is enough.

All of this is to say that if you are feeling pulled to the Church, there might be a reason and it’s okay to embrace that. Go to different churches and attend Mass and see how it resonates. You don’t have to be all in immediately.

If you don’t believe in God, and do not go to confession, you shouldn’t be going to communion. Any priest will tell you that. It’s good that you are going to mass and leaving your heart open (and for this I applaud you), but receiving communion as a current non-believer is a mortal sin.

+1. I hope these are just bored trolls but you never know on here. If you're agnostic or atheist, why would you ever be in a church? Not adding up. No atheist or agnostic person I've ever met would ever willingly and randomly go to Mass and take communion. It would be literally the last thing they'd ever do on a Sunday morning. :roll:

There are many atheists and agnostics every week at church, sorry to break it to you.

Not everyone has as rigid a worldview as you do. You cannot control everyone’s inner thoughts, as much as you want to do so.

Yes, just a coincidence you and the PP are self-described agnostic/atheist, still going to Sunday mass, still taking communion, and participating in a thread like this on the most sacred Christian holiday. You sound super disengaged with Catholicism and totally not some bored atheist troll on the religion forum on Easter weekend. :roll: Goodbye.

You sound like the only troll on this thread. The rest of the posters have been thoughtful.

If you're agnostic or atheist, you're trolling the church and congregation when you attend Mass, especially if you're taking communion. But you know that, of course, which is why you're driving the point home trolling a religious forum on an Easter weekend.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I’m an atheist who was raised extremely Catholic, including Catholic schools, who went to college and finally got the confidence to publicly express the atheism I’d believed in since I was about nine or ten. I didn’t go to Mass for years. I did baptize my kids using my mom’s church, but that was more of a gift to my mom than anything.

But then I moved my kids to Catholic school after a disastrous public school experience. The school and community was incredibly welcoming to my kid and the family. The familiar academic and behavioral rigor was so welcome. I had this strong sense of homecoming. My kids embraced it, even though I’d raised them atheist.

I don’t go to Mass regularly, but I do go periodically now. And I really feel a sense of peace after. I have not gone to Confession, but I do take the Eucharist. I suspect that as I age, I will go more.

I don’t know what to do about the actual belief in God part. I remember questioning the existence of God as a very young child. I didn’t even have the words to understand it, but once I learned the term “atheist,” it resonated. I cannot make myself believe in God. But, I feel peace and connection to my community and family when I go to Mass, and for now that is enough.

All of this is to say that if you are feeling pulled to the Church, there might be a reason and it’s okay to embrace that. Go to different churches and attend Mass and see how it resonates. You don’t have to be all in immediately.

If you don’t believe in God, and do not go to confession, you shouldn’t be going to communion. Any priest will tell you that. It’s good that you are going to mass and leaving your heart open (and for this I applaud you), but receiving communion as a current non-believer is a mortal sin.

+1. I hope these are just bored trolls but you never know on here. If you're agnostic or atheist, why would you ever be in a church? Not adding up. No atheist or agnostic person I've ever met would ever willingly and randomly go to Mass and take communion. It would be literally the last thing they'd ever do on a Sunday morning. :roll:

There are many atheists and agnostics every week at church, sorry to break it to you.

Not everyone has as rigid a worldview as you do. You cannot control everyone’s inner thoughts, as much as you want to do so.

Yes, just a coincidence you and the PP are self-described agnostic/atheist, still going to Sunday mass, still taking communion, and participating in a thread like this on the most sacred Christian holiday. You sound super disengaged with Catholicism and totally not some bored atheist troll on the religion forum on Easter weekend. :roll: Goodbye.

You sound like the only troll on this thread. The rest of the posters have been thoughtful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear what you are saying OP, but Catholicism is not a pick and choose religion. You're either all in or you're not and if you're not, I suggest trying one of the other Christian religions. And for the person calling us "right wing nutters", we (the right wing nutters) are adhering to the catechism of the Catholic church and fully engaged in all of the sacraments, including confession. Remember, Jesus dined with sinners, but he also told them to "turn away from sin and return to the Gospel".

Oh, please. Right wing nutters are cafeteria Catholics, too. Everyone takes what they want out of it and ignores what they choose to ignore. How do I know this? I work at an archdiocesan office and see it all the time.

And Oh, please Left wing nutters are cafeteria Catholics too.

If you read what I said, I'm not saying they aren't. Right wing nutters are the ones who don't think they are cafeteria Catholics, but they are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I’m an atheist who was raised extremely Catholic, including Catholic schools, who went to college and finally got the confidence to publicly express the atheism I’d believed in since I was about nine or ten. I didn’t go to Mass for years. I did baptize my kids using my mom’s church, but that was more of a gift to my mom than anything.

But then I moved my kids to Catholic school after a disastrous public school experience. The school and community was incredibly welcoming to my kid and the family. The familiar academic and behavioral rigor was so welcome. I had this strong sense of homecoming. My kids embraced it, even though I’d raised them atheist.

I don’t go to Mass regularly, but I do go periodically now. And I really feel a sense of peace after. I have not gone to Confession, but I do take the Eucharist. I suspect that as I age, I will go more.

I don’t know what to do about the actual belief in God part. I remember questioning the existence of God as a very young child. I didn’t even have the words to understand it, but once I learned the term “atheist,” it resonated. I cannot make myself believe in God. But, I feel peace and connection to my community and family when I go to Mass, and for now that is enough.

All of this is to say that if you are feeling pulled to the Church, there might be a reason and it’s okay to embrace that. Go to different churches and attend Mass and see how it resonates. You don’t have to be all in immediately.

If you don’t believe in God, and do not go to confession, you shouldn’t be going to communion. Any priest will tell you that. It’s good that you are going to mass and leaving your heart open (and for this I applaud you), but receiving communion as a current non-believer is a mortal sin.

+1. I hope these are just bored trolls but you never know on here. If you're agnostic or atheist, why would you ever be in a church? Not adding up. No atheist or agnostic person I've ever met would ever willingly and randomly go to Mass and take communion. It would be literally the last thing they'd ever do on a Sunday morning.

There are many atheists and agnostics every week at church, sorry to break it to you.

Not everyone has as rigid a worldview as you do. You cannot control everyone’s inner thoughts, as much as you want to do so.

Yes, just a coincidence you and the PP are self-described agnostic/atheist, still going to Sunday mass, still taking communion, and participating in a thread like this on the most sacred Christian holiday. You sound super disengaged with Catholicism and totally not some bored atheist troll on the religion forum on Easter weekend. Goodbye.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear what you are saying OP, but Catholicism is not a pick and choose religion. You're either all in or you're not and if you're not, I suggest trying one of the other Christian religions. And for the person calling us "right wing nutters", we (the right wing nutters) are adhering to the catechism of the Catholic church and fully engaged in all of the sacraments, including confession. Remember, Jesus dined with sinners, but he also told them to "turn away from sin and return to the Gospel".

Oh, please. Right wing nutters are cafeteria Catholics, too. Everyone takes what they want out of it and ignores what they choose to ignore. How do I know this? I work at an archdiocesan office and see it all the time.

And Oh, please Left wing nutters are cafeteria Catholics too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I’m an atheist who was raised extremely Catholic, including Catholic schools, who went to college and finally got the confidence to publicly express the atheism I’d believed in since I was about nine or ten. I didn’t go to Mass for years. I did baptize my kids using my mom’s church, but that was more of a gift to my mom than anything.

But then I moved my kids to Catholic school after a disastrous public school experience. The school and community was incredibly welcoming to my kid and the family. The familiar academic and behavioral rigor was so welcome. I had this strong sense of homecoming. My kids embraced it, even though I’d raised them atheist.

I don’t go to Mass regularly, but I do go periodically now. And I really feel a sense of peace after. I have not gone to Confession, but I do take the Eucharist. I suspect that as I age, I will go more.

I don’t know what to do about the actual belief in God part. I remember questioning the existence of God as a very young child. I didn’t even have the words to understand it, but once I learned the term “atheist,” it resonated. I cannot make myself believe in God. But, I feel peace and connection to my community and family when I go to Mass, and for now that is enough.

All of this is to say that if you are feeling pulled to the Church, there might be a reason and it’s okay to embrace that. Go to different churches and attend Mass and see how it resonates. You don’t have to be all in immediately.

If you don’t believe in God, and do not go to confession, you shouldn’t be going to communion. Any priest will tell you that. It’s good that you are going to mass and leaving your heart open (and for this I applaud you), but receiving communion as a current non-believer is a mortal sin.

+1. I hope these are just bored trolls but you never know on here. If you're agnostic or atheist, why would you ever be in a church? Not adding up. No atheist or agnostic person I've ever met would ever willingly and randomly go to Mass and take communion. It would be literally the last thing they'd ever do on a Sunday morning.

Sometimes you have to go for weddings or funerals. My husband's family is Catholic, and some of them still believe. You sit there thinking how weird it all is. I can't get over the funeral masses without eulogies for the person in the box up the front. One funeral I went to raised the tragedy of the split between the Catholic and Protestant churches as the reason Protestants couldn't take communion.

Despite my disbelief, I have read the Bible and know enough to answer all the questions on Jeopardy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I’m an atheist who was raised extremely Catholic, including Catholic schools, who went to college and finally got the confidence to publicly express the atheism I’d believed in since I was about nine or ten. I didn’t go to Mass for years. I did baptize my kids using my mom’s church, but that was more of a gift to my mom than anything.

But then I moved my kids to Catholic school after a disastrous public school experience. The school and community was incredibly welcoming to my kid and the family. The familiar academic and behavioral rigor was so welcome. I had this strong sense of homecoming. My kids embraced it, even though I’d raised them atheist.

I don’t go to Mass regularly, but I do go periodically now. And I really feel a sense of peace after. I have not gone to Confession, but I do take the Eucharist. I suspect that as I age, I will go more.

I don’t know what to do about the actual belief in God part. I remember questioning the existence of God as a very young child. I didn’t even have the words to understand it, but once I learned the term “atheist,” it resonated. I cannot make myself believe in God. But, I feel peace and connection to my community and family when I go to Mass, and for now that is enough.

All of this is to say that if you are feeling pulled to the Church, there might be a reason and it’s okay to embrace that. Go to different churches and attend Mass and see how it resonates. You don’t have to be all in immediately.

If you don’t believe in God, and do not go to confession, you shouldn’t be going to communion. Any priest will tell you that. It’s good that you are going to mass and leaving your heart open (and for this I applaud you), but receiving communion as a current non-believer is a mortal sin.

+1. I hope these are just bored trolls but you never know on here. If you're agnostic or atheist, why would you ever be in a church? Not adding up. No atheist or agnostic person I've ever met would ever willingly and randomly go to Mass and take communion. It would be literally the last thing they'd ever do on a Sunday morning.

There are many atheists and agnostics every week at church, sorry to break it to you.

Not everyone has as rigid a worldview as you do. You cannot control everyone’s inner thoughts, as much as you want to do so.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I’m an atheist who was raised extremely Catholic, including Catholic schools, who went to college and finally got the confidence to publicly express the atheism I’d believed in since I was about nine or ten. I didn’t go to Mass for years. I did baptize my kids using my mom’s church, but that was more of a gift to my mom than anything.

But then I moved my kids to Catholic school after a disastrous public school experience. The school and community was incredibly welcoming to my kid and the family. The familiar academic and behavioral rigor was so welcome. I had this strong sense of homecoming. My kids embraced it, even though I’d raised them atheist.

I don’t go to Mass regularly, but I do go periodically now. And I really feel a sense of peace after. I have not gone to Confession, but I do take the Eucharist. I suspect that as I age, I will go more.

I don’t know what to do about the actual belief in God part. I remember questioning the existence of God as a very young child. I didn’t even have the words to understand it, but once I learned the term “atheist,” it resonated. I cannot make myself believe in God. But, I feel peace and connection to my community and family when I go to Mass, and for now that is enough.

All of this is to say that if you are feeling pulled to the Church, there might be a reason and it’s okay to embrace that. Go to different churches and attend Mass and see how it resonates. You don’t have to be all in immediately.

If you don’t believe in God, and do not go to confession, you shouldn’t be going to communion. Any priest will tell you that. It’s good that you are going to mass and leaving your heart open (and for this I applaud you), but receiving communion as a current non-believer is a mortal sin.

Well, I don’t believe in mortal sins either, so luckily that isn’t a problem.

Haha yeah - exactly....

When the Holy Spirit brings PP closer to reuniting with the Church, PP can go to Confession and confess receiving Eucharist while not being in a state of grace. I had gone to Confession ONE time as an adult (2015) before recognizing truly what an amazing Sacrament it is. I went in 2021, then 2023, then 4x since Advent. You start to hunger to be closer to God. The church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum of saints. I am praying for you PP! Giving your children the gift of faith is magnificent and really hard. My husband does not practice so I pray for him too. Being the recipient of these prayers from a relative showed me we all get there in our own time. (My favorite saint btw is St. Monica, St. Augustine's long suffering mom)

I’m the atheist PP you are talking about, and thank you for this. This is kind act on your part. Maybe one day the peace I feel going to Mass will turn into something further and I will go to Confession. Or maybe not. In any event, I can see why people get something profound out of it.

I like St. Monica too, interestingly.