Anonymous
03/25/2024 21:10
Subject: Why was I so angry about this?
Anonymous wrote:Your first mistake was taking your kid on a run they did not belong on.
We are a ski/snowboarding family that flys from DMV to CO multiple times a month.
Not only did you risk your own son and yourself you put others in danger. Shame on you. Seriously judging you.
Your complaints are not valid.
Period.
Both you and DH need parenting classes.
Not OP. You should work on your self awareness. You’re a jerk
Anonymous
03/25/2024 21:08
Subject: Why was I so angry about this?
Stop skiing. Problem solved.
Anonymous
03/25/2024 21:06
Subject: Why was I so angry about this?
Anonymous wrote:We ski a lot with our kids, and I often stress to dh that he can't assume always that I am the one skiing behind the youngest ds in case he falls. But the fact is, unless I specifically say 'YOU ski behind him now', he skis ahead. Today he did so again, on a hard run. Ds fell, had a total meltdown and refused to move, skiers were shooting past us and it was very dangerous. I spent 30m coaxing him to get up and ski bc by this point dh was down the mountain. At one point a skier took me out hard.
I guess the obvious answer is because I am not only the breadwinner but the default organizer and responsible party for EVERYTHING. I do 90% of the admin in addition to work, so resentment. But it feels like something even deeper like trust and fear or.. not sure. Dh is furious with me for yelling at him but meanwhile something about this scenario just lit a huge fire for me.
Can he be trusted?
Is he reliable?
Does he have good judgment?
Does he out his kids first?
Does he have self awareness?
If the answer is all No’s then you married a selfish idiot. So yeah that’s destabilizing, dangerous for the kids, and exhausting for you.
Anonymous
03/25/2024 20:50
Subject: Why was I so angry about this?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Your first mistake was taking your kid on a run they did not belong on.
We are a ski/snowboarding family that flys from DMV to CO multiple times a month.
Not only did you risk your own son and yourself you put others in danger. Shame on you. Seriously judging you.
Your complaints are not valid.
Period.
Both you and DH need parenting classes.
So pathetic how badly this poster needs to share this info with everyone.
Anonymous
03/25/2024 20:08
Subject: Why was I so angry about this?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't really understand the issue. Your worry, I assume, is that your child will be left unattended if he has an issue? But that didn't happen today - you were there. Unless you're saying that both of you need to ski behind the kids?
It sounds like you were just frazzled by your kid's yard sale and getting hit yourself.
op - my preference would be that we always agree who will ski behind ds OR that if that hasn't happened, he keeps close enough to be accessed in event of situation (even slightly downhill). It's the assumption that I will be on lookout that bothers me.
OP this is what being the default parent means. It’s hard to unsee once you see it. This sounds harsh but you basically have to fight like a dog to make sure you get what’s yours (what your DH takes without a second thought). That means your DH might have to listen to you yell a little, poor baby. And it also means that in some cases where failure is not an option (like safety skiing) you have to accept being the default. Then you take the family credit card to the ski shop and buy yourself a new hat. Then you leave the kids on screens with DH in the hotel room while you enjoy a drink at the bar. See what I mean?
Sounds like OP's skills are not up to handling her DS when he falls on a run like this one. She should not be expected to take responsibility in a safety situation if she's not comfortable doing so. Her DH is being a sh!t father.
Anonymous
03/25/2024 20:05
Subject: Why was I so angry about this?
OP, it sounds like your DH is a better skier than you. The same is true for me. We have two kids, and older DC is a much stronger skier. I simply refuse to be responsible for younger DC. Sometimes we will split up, but it's always me + older DC if that happens. It maybe helps that I'm more of a fairweather skier in the first place, and DH knows I'll simply go in if I'm not having fun. But for me, I truly don't get why this is an issue. Your DH is being a selfish jerk. In your place, I would refuse to ski as a family unless your DH takes responsibility.
Anonymous
03/25/2024 19:57
Subject: Why was I so angry about this?
Anonymous wrote:We ski a lot with our kids, and I often stress to dh that he can't assume always that I am the one skiing behind the youngest ds in case he falls. But the fact is, unless I specifically say 'YOU ski behind him now', he skis ahead. Today he did so again, on a hard run. Ds fell, had a total meltdown and refused to move, skiers were shooting past us and it was very dangerous. I spent 30m coaxing him to get up and ski bc by this point dh was down the mountain. At one point a skier took me out hard.
I guess the obvious answer is because I am not only the breadwinner but the default organizer and responsible party for EVERYTHING. I do 90% of the admin in addition to work, so resentment. But it feels like something even deeper like trust and fear or.. not sure. Dh is furious with me for yelling at him but meanwhile something about this scenario just lit a huge fire for me.
It's because your husband is a selfish d!ck. I married one too. They hate to be called out on it.
Anonymous
03/25/2024 19:54
Subject: Why was I so angry about this?
Anonymous wrote:I mean, it sounds like if DS can't handle the run he needs an easier mountain. He shouldn't need a spotter.
Tell me you don’t ski with young kids without telling me…
Anonymous
03/25/2024 19:50
Subject: Why was I so angry about this?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Your first mistake was taking your kid on a run they did not belong on.
We are a ski/snowboarding family that flys from DMV to CO multiple times a month.
Not only did you risk your own son and yourself you put others in danger. Shame on you. Seriously judging you.
Your complaints are not valid.
Period.
Both you and DH need parenting classes.
Really?? Are you taking your kids out of school multiple times a MONTH?
Even if they're not yet in schoo, that's a 4-hour flight, plus at least a 2-4 hour drive, unless you're flying private to Eagle. Plus the 2-hour time difference. And you're doing that multiple times a month? That sounds great for everyone. LOL
Maybe a parenting class for you instead, crazy lady.
???
No we just live near skiing. Not everyone on this forum lives in dc
Oh wait this is op - I thought you were talking to me.
We are nyc based
This is the PP you're responding to - and yes, I was responding to the crazy judgy poster.
OP, I understand your frustration. I'm always the caboose in the family ski group. I've been skiing with my kids since they were 2.5 and they're now teenagers.
I'm the stronger skier of DH and me, so it's understood, but I sometimes fantasize about just zooming ahead. LOL. I'd be super pissed at my DH if I were you. Even if you're the first skier in the group, if you're skiing with your kids, it's understood you'll stop and check behind you to make sure everyone's still there!
Anonymous
03/25/2024 19:45
Subject: Why was I so angry about this?
Several issues here.
Yes DH needs to do his fair share.
You can't do that run as a family right now.
You , your child or someone else could have been killed or seriously injured by the actions of your family yesterday.
Selfishness is abundant.
Yesterday should have been a wake up call for .
marriage counseling might be in order
Yes DH needs to do his fair share.
You can't do that run as a family right now.
You , your child or someone else could have been killed or seriously injured by the actions of your family yesterday.
Selfishness is abundant.
Yesterday should have been a wake up call for .
marriage counseling might be in order
Anonymous
03/25/2024 19:02
Subject: Why was I so angry about this?
Sh*t happens. you need a rule - every other run, you trade off which adult rides rear (& is responsible for youngest DS & anyone else who has issues). No negotiating, it just is what it is - if you’re skiing as a family, one adult is always at the rear. Make DH take his turns.
Anonymous
03/25/2024 18:56
Subject: Why was I so angry about this?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Your first mistake was taking your kid on a run they did not belong on.
We are a ski/snowboarding family that flys from DMV to CO multiple times a month.
Not only did you risk your own son and yourself you put others in danger. Shame on you. Seriously judging you.
Your complaints are not valid.
Period.
Both you and DH need parenting classes.
Really?? Are you taking your kids out of school multiple times a MONTH?
Even if they're not yet in schoo, that's a 4-hour flight, plus at least a 2-4 hour drive, unless you're flying private to Eagle. Plus the 2-hour time difference. And you're doing that multiple times a month? That sounds great for everyone. LOL
Maybe a parenting class for you instead, crazy lady.
???
No we just live near skiing. Not everyone on this forum lives in dc
Oh wait this is op - I thought you were talking to me.
We are nyc based
Anonymous
03/25/2024 18:55
Subject: Why was I so angry about this?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Your first mistake was taking your kid on a run they did not belong on.
We are a ski/snowboarding family that flys from DMV to CO multiple times a month.
Not only did you risk your own son and yourself you put others in danger. Shame on you. Seriously judging you.
Your complaints are not valid.
Period.
Both you and DH need parenting classes.
Really?? Are you taking your kids out of school multiple times a MONTH?
Even if they're not yet in schoo, that's a 4-hour flight, plus at least a 2-4 hour drive, unless you're flying private to Eagle. Plus the 2-hour time difference. And you're doing that multiple times a month? That sounds great for everyone. LOL
Maybe a parenting class for you instead, crazy lady.
???
No we just live near skiing. Not everyone on this forum lives in dc
Anonymous
03/25/2024 18:51
Subject: Why was I so angry about this?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Your first mistake was taking your kid on a run they did not belong on.
We are a ski/snowboarding family that flys from DMV to CO multiple times a month.
Not only did you risk your own son and yourself you put others in danger. Shame on you. Seriously judging you.
Your complaints are not valid.
Period.
Both you and DH need parenting classes.
Really?? Are you taking your kids out of school multiple times a MONTH?
Even if they're not yet in schoo, that's a 4-hour flight, plus at least a 2-4 hour drive, unless you're flying private to Eagle. Plus the 2-hour time difference. And you're doing that multiple times a month? That sounds great for everyone. LOL
Maybe a parenting class for you instead, crazy lady.
Agree. That PP is either a troll or a nut job. Or both!
Anonymous
03/25/2024 18:51
Subject: Why was I so angry about this?
You both are immature. How fun for everyone around you.