Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, try to assess whether there's stress at school. If there's a bully or a conflict you don't know about, it can make a child regress in their potty-training.

I thought about this, but he seems fine, and he's very verbal. He tells us all kinds of things about school. He even notices stuff about his teacher that most kids may be unable to articulate. For examples there was something his teacher did at circle time when we toured the school i.e. passing around a candle and I asked him if she does that a lot and he said she only does that when new people come He said "when new humans come teacher is different, her is nice and does fun things."

I have a 4 year old and he'd never speak like that. The phrasing, sentence structure, bad grammar and the actual words used are just all wrong. My ds isn't the most verbal, but at 4 pretty much the only things he gets wrong would be present vs past tense (chooses the wrong word) or he uses the wrong plural word (like mouses instead of mice). And no, my ds would definitely be able to articulate that they do more fun activities when "visitors" are present. He'd never say "new humans" because we aren't aliens.

I'd get a consult with a doctor. I think there is something wrong.

I’m the parent with multiple kids who wrote something above and I agree that all of my kids could have explained at 4 years old that the teacher is different when there are new kids there, but none of them would have used words like that or had those types of grammatical errors at that age. Mixing up pronouns is something that 2 year olds regularly do. I’d agree that an evaluation might be useful.

Some older kids do it - my niece mixed up she/her until age 5. Otherwise zero speech issues, unlike my same age kid who has perfect grammar but tons of articulation issues.

The “human” thing is weird unless that’s a direct translation from his other language or if they are taught to speak that way on purpose, like the posts I see on Facebook about raising “kind humans” or “baby humans.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's post like this that make me grateful that I'm childfree.

I have multiple kids and never had this problem. It’s parenting. I’m sure he’s getting junk food and screen time or something else that should be taken away for an entire week every time he does it. 4 years old is NOT too young to know not to behave like an animal.

OP here. No. He's in school FT but nice try. As a parent of multiple kids, you would be more empathetic.

What does school FT mean? Full time? If he’s in school full time, why are you posting for toddlers and preschoolers on the board?

And what does doing school or preschool have to do with screen time or junk food? Are you saying that because your son goes to preschool then he therefore doesn’t get any screen time or junk food? Your post makes no sense.

Those of us who are parenting our children well do not reward them for misbehaving. If you’re doing those things, then stop. If you aren’t, and you’ve completely taken away all junk food and all screen time (and made sure he knows it’s because of the inappropriate peeing) then feel free to post that and we can help you think of other ideas that aren’t so obvious.

OP here. I have no idea why you are so hung up on junk food. We aren't American. Our kids very rarely eat junk food. He does get screen time while DH naps on the weekend. I can't do anything about that if I am working. DH makes me so angry. If we were on the same page then this would get resolved faster. Sometimes I feel like quitting my job to be home and get this resolved. I love my job so I don't want to do that but it's sucks not being able to 100 percent rely on him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You must be so frustrated, OP! Time to get on top of this for both your sakes. Set up an appointment with the pediatrician; rule out a medical cause and get referrals to a psychologist. It is very troubling that he is able to control this at school and vacation, but not at home.

OP here. I work on the weekend, which makes it very hard because I know DH isn't watching him every second. Dh lets him watch tv while he naps. His older brother is in charge during that time, but he's only 8. DH claims he's always watching him, but I know that's not true. It's so, so frustrating.

He is in school through the week but still doesn’t see his mom at home on the weekends because she’s working, and on the weekends when time could at least be spent with dad doing fun things and having quality time together but it’s not because dad is napping somewhere else and making his brother watch him? I don’t think you need to waste money on a therapist because the reason seems pretty obvious doesn’t it? The poor kid is just looking for some attention since he’s getting none at home unless he misbehaves.

OP here. I don't work all weekend, and his dad doesn't nap all weekend. It's a long day without preschool. They do an activity in the morning and get home around 1 pm. His dad takes a nap, and then they do something else, i.e., play outside or play in the basement. He's also only in preschool from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. I work in the medical field, so I do a 12-hour shift one of the weekend days but usually it ends up being 15 hours. In the summer I am home with both kids Monday-Friday. He has done evaluations with early intervention and they said his verbal skills were great. His grammar isn't the best but he's 4 and speaks two languages. His preschool teacher also mentioned he's great at talking and talks more than other kids. Most of the kids at his preschool are international and they are very quiet.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You must be so frustrated, OP! Time to get on top of this for both your sakes. Set up an appointment with the pediatrician; rule out a medical cause and get referrals to a psychologist. It is very troubling that he is able to control this at school and vacation, but not at home.

OP here. I work on the weekend, which makes it very hard because I know DH isn't watching him every second. Dh lets him watch tv while he naps. His older brother is in charge during that time, but he's only 8. DH claims he's always watching him, but I know that's not true. It's so, so frustrating.

He is in school through the week but still doesn't see his mom at home on the weekends because she's working, and on the weekends when time could at least be spent with dad doing fun things and having quality time together but it's not because dad is napping somewhere else and making his brother watch him? I don't think you need to waste money on a therapist because the reason seems pretty obvious doesn't it? The poor kid is just looking for attention since he's getting none at home unless he misbehaves.

OP here. I don't work all weekend, and his dad doesn't nap all weekend. It's a long day without preschool. They do an activity in the morning and get home around 1 pm. His dad takes a nap, and then they do something else, i.e., play outside or play in the basement. He's also only in preschool from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. I work in the medical field, so I do a 12-hour shift one of the weekend days but usually it ends up being 15 hours. In the summer I am home with both kids Monday-Friday. He has done evaluations with early intervention and they said his verbal skills were great. His grammar isn't the best but he's 4 and speaks two languages. His preschool teacher also mentioned he's great at talking and talks more than other kids. Most of the kids at his preschool are international and they are very quiet.

Have you tried a rewards chart? I read through the whole thread but didn't see it mentioned. I found it to be very effective at your son's age.

Talk to his doctor. This is not typical for a 4 year old especially if behavioral remedies aren't working (explaining, rewarding, punishing).

I don’t have a solution for you but as someone who did this when I was 4 I have complete sympathy and you should know that I turned out very successful with no neurodivergence (and I certainly don’t pee all over my house today). It’s probably just a phase, albeit a very annoying one. I still remember purposefully peeing in my bed when I was bored and crying when I discovered that I didn’t have a dry place to sleep that night…

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You must be so frustrated, OP! Time to get on top of this for both your sakes. Set up an appointment with the pediatrician; rule out a medical cause and get referrals to a psychologist. It is very troubling that he is able to control this at school and vacation, but not at home.

OP here. I work on the weekend, which makes it very hard because I know DH isn't watching him every second. Dh lets him watch tv while he naps. His older brother is in charge during that time, but he's only 8. DH claims he's always watching him, but I know that's not true. It's so, so frustrating.

He is in school through the week but still doesn’t see his mom at home on the weekends because she’s working, and on the weekends when time could at least be spent with dad doing fun things and having quality time together but it’s not because dad is napping somewhere else and making his brother watch him? I don’t think you need to waste money on a therapist because the reason seems pretty obvious doesn’t it? The poor kid is just looking for some attention since he’s getting none at home unless he misbehaves.

Take away his big boy stuff. Back in diapers. Toys that are safe for babies. Snacks meant for toddlers. No screen time. Earlier to bed.

If it was something medical he would be wetting his pants, not going around the house peeing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, try to assess whether there's stress at school. If there's a bully or a conflict you don't know about, it can make a child regress in their potty-training.

I thought about this, but he seems fine, and he's very verbal. He tells us all kinds of things about school. He even notices stuff about his teacher that most kids may be unable to articulate. For examples there was something his teacher did at circle time when we toured the school i.e. passing around a candle and I asked him if she does that a lot and he said she only does that when new people come He said "when new humans come teacher is different, her is nice and does fun things."

I have a 4 year old and he'd never speak like that. The phrasing, sentence structure, bad grammar and the actual words used are just all wrong. My ds isn't the most verbal, but at 4 pretty much the only things he gets wrong would be present vs past tense (chooses the wrong word) or he uses the wrong plural word (like mouses instead of mice). And no, my ds would definitely be able to articulate that they do more fun activities when "visitors" are present. He'd never say "new humans" because we aren't aliens.

I'd get a consult with a doctor. I think there is something wrong.

I’m the parent with multiple kids who wrote something above and I agree that all of my kids could have explained at 4 years old that the teacher is different when there are new kids there, but none of them would have used words like that or had those types of grammatical errors at that age. Mixing up pronouns is something that 2 year olds regularly do. I’d agree that an evaluation might be useful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's post like this that make me grateful that I'm childfree.

I have multiple kids and never had this problem. It’s parenting. I’m sure he’s getting junk food and screen time or something else that should be taken away for an entire week every time he does it. 4 years old is NOT too young to know not to behave like an animal.

OP here. No. He's in school FT but nice try. As a parent of multiple kids you one would think you would be more empathetic.

What does school FT mean? Full time? If he’s in school full time, why are you posting in the board for toddlers and preschoolers?

And what does doing school or preschool have to do with screen time or junk food? Are you saying that because your son goes to preschool then he therefore doesn’t get any screen time or junk food? Your post makes no sense.

Those of us who are parenting our children well do not reward them for misbehaving. If you’re doing those things, then stop. If you aren’t, and you’ve completely taken away all junk food and all screen time (and made sure he knows it’s because of the inappropriate peeing) then feel free to post that and we can help you think of other ideas that aren’t so obvious.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, try to assess whether there's stress at school. If there's a bully or a conflict you don't know about, it can make a child regress in their potty-training.

I thought about this, but he seems fine, and he's very verbal. He tells us all kinds of things about school. He even notices stuff about his teacher that most kids may be unable to articulate. For examples there was something his teacher did at circle time when we toured the school i.e. passing around a candle and I asked him if she does that a lot and he said she only does that when new people come He said "when new humans come teacher is different, her is nice and does fun things."

I have a 4 year old and he'd never speak like that. The phrasing, sentence structure, bad grammar and the actual words used are just all wrong. My ds isn't the most verbal, but at 4 pretty much the only things he gets wrong would be present vs past tense (chooses the wrong word) or he uses the wrong plural word (like mouses instead of mice). And no, my ds would definitely be able to articulate that they do more fun activities when "visitors" are present. He'd never say "new humans" because we aren't aliens.

I'd get a consult with a doctor. I think there is something wrong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, try to assess whether there's stress at school. If there's a bully or a conflict you don't know about, it can make a child regress in their potty-training.

I thought about this, but he seems fine, and he's very verbal. He tells us all kinds of things about school. He even notices stuff about his teacher that most kids may be unable to articulate. For examples there was something his teacher did at circle time when we toured the school i.e. passing around a candle and I asked him if she does that a lot and he said she only does that when new people come He said "when new humans come teacher is different, her is nice and does fun things."

Um - your example of his being advanced verbally includes several oddities - grammatical errors, missing articles, strange word choices. Reads like robot speech. Is this really how he talks? He refers to people as “humans”?

If so, this may indicate neurodiversity. Often folks on the spectrum have odd speech patterns.

Explain that only babies pee on the carpet, so clearly he is still a baby and will be treated as such. Babies don't get to use the ipad or get snacks or...whatever will resonate with him. Then stick with it until the behavior stops.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You must be so frustrated, OP! Time to get on top of this for both your sakes. Set up an appointment with the pediatrician; rule out a medical cause and get referrals to a psychologist. It is very troubling that he is able to control this at school and vacation, but not at home.

OP here. I work on the weekend, which makes it very hard because I know DH isn't watching him every second. Dh lets him watch tv while he naps. His older brother is in charge during that time, but he's only 8. DH claims he's always watching him, but I know that's not true. It's so, so frustrating.

Dad needs to step up. Brother is not responsible for him. Or hire a babysitter.