Anonymous wrote:Please don’t bail out your child. They can find a lawyer or get a public defender. Step back, your privilege is showing. A little time in jail may be good.

👎
Luckily OP sounds smart and getting her kid legal representation

Anonymous wrote:Please don’t bail out your child. They can find a lawyer or get a public defender. Step back, your privilege is showing. A little time in jail may be good.

Eff that. Don't want kid to have a record for dumb stuff that young people do. Op, as you can see, many of our kids have also done dumb stuff, and many are now productive members of society

Once the community service has been served, and the fines paid, pay the extra for expungement

Please don’t bail out your child. They can find a lawyer or get a public defender. Step back, your privilege is showing. A little time in jail may be good.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP needs to think of it as kid did illegal things, not “dumb” things.

People who point out the illegality of things are often willing to overlook more serious things when their friends are involved, oh say, breaking into the Capitol and trying to overturn an election, paying a prostitute and fraudulently declaring it as a business expense, keeping national security secrets in your unsecured bathroom.

Is there only one person in the whole world you can find as an an example for your thesis?

Anonymous wrote:There are lots of immature / dumb things, if I think back to high school, stuff kids got caught for...

Trespassing, public urination, indecent exposure (mooning, streaking), stealing a sign, graffiti, stealing a table from a 'competing' club's lounge, fireworks, marijuana related, break into the locked school, donuts in the parking lot that led to crashing into another car

That is what I remember off the top of my head

Sure.
There's also an 18 year old in Fairfax county that recently murdered (shot) a 14 year old, I know someone who was recently arrested for raping someone when he was 18, etc.
From OP's first post, the rest of us had no idea if it was something like the things you mentioned, or something like the ones I mentioned.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Former federal public defender - he should feel bad, but he should also know that he's loved.
Btw, im not a bleeding heart, but I've seen way too many young people have to go through hell alone. It doesn't make them better in the end.

Thank you. Trying to strike the balance between horrified and supportive. I don't need a suicidal 18yo on top of everything else.

This is the most important. Remind him that this isn’t the end of the world. It’s very serious but he will get though it and learn a lot.

Anonymous wrote:There are lots of immature / dumb things, if I think back to high school, stuff kids got caught for...

Trespassing, public urination, indecent exposure (mooning, streaking), stealing a sign, graffiti, stealing a table from a 'competing' club's lounge, fireworks, marijuana related, break into the locked school, donuts in the parking lot that led to crashing into another car

That is what I remember off the top of my head

OP here, this is definitely along the lines of what happened which resulted in misdemeanor and felony charges. So yeah to the posters who are harping on my use of "dumb" versus "illegal" please apply that lofty position to everyone, not just some anonymous mom trying to help her kid who definitely did illegally dumb stuff.

My DH had a conversation with my kids to remind them that if they were ever in trouble to call us first. We will always have their best interest at heart. Good luck OP, your DS needs a lawyer and you are making it happen.

There are lots of immature / dumb things, if I think back to high school, stuff kids got caught for...

Trespassing, public urination, indecent exposure (mooning, streaking), stealing a sign, graffiti, stealing a table from a 'competing' club's lounge, fireworks, marijuana related, break into the locked school, donuts in the parking lot that led to crashing into another car

That is what I remember off the top of my head

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP needs to think of it as kid did illegal things, not “dumb” things.

People who point out the illegality of things are often willing to overlook more serious things when their friends are involved, oh say, breaking into the Capitol and trying to overturn an election, paying a prostitute and fraudulently declaring it as a business expense, keeping national security secrets in your unsecured bathroom.

oh how I love this post.

+1

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP needs to think of it as kid did illegal things, not “dumb” things.

+1

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP needs to think of it as kid did illegal things, not “dumb” things.

People who point out the illegality of things are often willing to overlook more serious things when their friends are involved, oh say, breaking into the Capitol and trying to overturn an election, paying a prostitute and fraudulently declaring it as a business expense, keeping national security secrets in your unsecured bathroom.

Mike Taylor. Rockville. Helped us.

MDE Law Group in Fairfax

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP needs to think of it as kid did illegal things, not “dumb” things.

I know. Perhaps OP is embarrassed, but if you used this type of language with your child all along it may be why they thought breaking the law is just a youthful indiscretion.

Having said that, I am sorry for your stress and hope that this sets your kid on the straight and narrow. I might recommend therapy to be sure he processes this in the correct way (especially if there was any substance abuse was in the mix). I might also not let a kid with this history go away, or far away, for college.