For me the big stressors were:
* choosing designer and builder--huge decision and lots of scammers/bad communicators out there
* deciding what we liked and didn't like of their recommendations...and agreeing on stuff
* waiting for permits to come in
* the cost of everything (including permits & expediter)
* packing everything up/getting a storage unit and moving stuff to it/donating or selling the stuff we no longer needed
* dust and mess of demo
* neighbors throwing crap onto our dumpster (it had a closed top but they couldn't tell/didn't care)
* noise and people in my house
* fear that something major would go wrong (luckily only one minor thing did)
* trying to check as we went that things were being done correctly, without really knowing enough to do that effectively
* responding to emails and phone calls from designer and builder about various issues
* switching from work from home back to the office (this really wasn't bad)
* not having a kitchen and only one bathroom
* keeping the cats away from the construction so they didn't get hurt or escape
* so much money
* stuff crowding the non-construction areas
* being home to accept deliveries
* materials delayed or arriving broken
* parking the car on the street to make room for construction vehicles
* unpacking everything and finding new homes for stuff
* second-guessing certain choices we made (or going along with the designer's ideas rather than making our own choices)

It didn't break up my marriage or anything, and I really like our new space. We had a fantastic builder and I thank my lucky stars for that. But I think it will be a long time before I want to renovate anything again and my hope would be to buy and renovate before moving in rather than living through the reno.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just finished up living in our new (old) house during a massive renovation and addition. It nearly broke me. I would not recommend living through a renovation. If I could go back in time we would have rented somewhere close by or found a different home that didn’t need such extensive work. It is not for the faint of heart. Now we are very pleased with the work and the home looks great, but it was incredibly disruptive to live here during the construction.

Can you say more about what exactly was disruptive and terrible about it?

(As someone planning to stay in our home during a renovation this is terrifying, but we are not losing use of our kitchen and don't expect too much dust in our main living areas, so maybe it will be okay? Or maybe those aren't the main problems at all and we're still doomed to be miserable? I dunno.)

Do you work at home? That’s where it becomes most wearing and untenable. And managing pets.
Dust (and the health risks), bad odors from paint etc, less privacy in your home, having guys working, playing radios, hammering all day, disruptions to ask you questions, supplies in your non work spaces, decisions, everything costing more than it should. It’s wearing.

This is really helpful, thanks. I do typically work from home but I can arrange to be out of the house more during the day during construction (a lot easier/cheaper than moving out)... it's good to know to prepare for that.

I’d do it if your marriage is strong. It’s hard but doable. Don’t live in the construction site - btdt and it sucked!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just finished up living in our new (old) house during a massive renovation and addition. It nearly broke me. I would not recommend living through a renovation. If I could go back in time we would have rented somewhere close by or found a different home that didn’t need such extensive work. It is not for the faint of heart. Now we are very pleased with the work and the home looks great, but it was incredibly disruptive to live here during the construction.

Can you say more about what exactly was disruptive and terrible about it?

(As someone planning to stay in our home during a renovation this is terrifying, but we are not losing use of our kitchen and don't expect too much dust in our main living areas, so maybe it will be okay? Or maybe those aren't the main problems at all and we're still doomed to be miserable? I dunno.)

Do you work at home? That’s where it becomes most wearing and untenable. And managing pets.
Dust (and the health risks), bad odors from paint etc, less privacy in your home, having guys working, playing radios, hammering all day, disruptions to ask you questions, supplies in your non work spaces, decisions, everything costing more than it should. It’s wearing.

Yes the above were all of our issues. It was a 3-week project and by the end, I was nearly driven insane. (And they did a good job! It was just hard living in a construction site)

3 week project?

Anonymous wrote:As my husband likes to say, I am so glad we did this, but I never want to do it again.

For our renovation in 2022, we paid our architect a fee and he met with us and the contractor once a week to go over things. The contractor also kept in touch with him and asked him questions, and if it was something we needed to approve, then we got involved.

I think the biggest stressor was all the decisions. So many decisions. We decided on a lot before construction started, but still it was a lot during the reno. For me, it was also stressful to not be home. We rented another house and commuted to school/work from there. It was hard for me to see our home all torn up. And there was stress toward the end when it was like...will they be done before we move back in??? The answer was we added a month onto our expectations.

But I agree with my H, the larger home provides so much less stress in daily living now. We have a large kitchen with an island, so I can hang out with my H while he cooks. We have huge closets. My son thinks our big light-filled bathroom is "calming" and will just hang out in there. And having a mudroom area next to our back door is seriously the best thing ever. No more shoes and coats all over!!!

It was a lot of money and a lot of stress but very much worth it.

This. Your stress level depends on how important these are to you. I care about everything, as does DH. Our neighbors just shrugged about stuff because they didn't care if the light switch was not in a good place, or that they put an ugly drainage line on the front of the house that is a huge eyesore. Sometimes, I wish I was more chill like them, but I'm not one to delegate decisions or not argue about ones that I wasn't asked about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just finished up living in our new (old) house during a massive renovation and addition. It nearly broke me. I would not recommend living through a renovation. If I could go back in time we would have rented somewhere close by or found a different home that didn’t need such extensive work. It is not for the faint of heart. Now we are very pleased with the work and the home looks great, but it was incredibly disruptive to live here during the construction.

Can you say more about what exactly was disruptive and terrible about it?

(As someone planning to stay in our home during a renovation this is terrifying, but we are not losing use of our kitchen and don't expect too much dust in our main living areas, so maybe it will be okay? Or maybe those aren't the main problems at all and we're still doomed to be miserable? I dunno.)

Do you work at home? That’s where it becomes most wearing and untenable. And managing pets.
Dust (and the health risks), bad odors from paint etc, less privacy in your home, having guys working, playing radios, hammering all day, disruptions to ask you questions, supplies in your non work spaces, decisions, everything costing more than it should. It’s wearing.

Yes the above were all of our issues. It was a 3-week project and by the end, I was nearly driven insane. (And they did a good job! It was just hard living in a construction site)

We had a medium-sized renovation that ended up being very, very hard on us because of the noise and dust. It got so bad that we found a last minute Airbnb for the last couple weeks of the project- we literally couldn’t stay in our home anymore, despite trying to plan on being out of the house on the days that were the dustiest/noisiest/worst.

In our case, it was the dust that was the big problem, despite all the cutting being confined to just one room of the home and full tenting around the space. It got into the vents, was circulated, and made us really ill. We had been assured repeatedly that we didn’t need to love, our project was smaller scale, etc but in retrospect, I wish we had just moved out immediately. Even on the best days, it was still disruptive to have one part of the house tented off, trying to coordinate with getting the kids out of the house before the work began, etc.

We are really happy with it now but it was a stressful period, even though it went well and on schedule!

Will the addition affect access to bathrooms or the kitchen at any point? Are they taking out the entire side of the house or is this less of an open concept?

If the majority of your current home is going to remain intact, I’d stay in the home. Maybe leave for a week here and there for any majorly disruptive portions but don’t move for the whole year.

My parents did an addition which created a new kitchen, bath, and guest room (400sqft) when I was 5. I don’t recall anything about the experience and don’t have memories of the house pre-addition. My dad said they built the addition basically as a separate space and had all the electric and most of the drywall in before taking out the wall between the living room and the new kitchen to make it into one space. That would be livable IMO.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just finished up living in our new (old) house during a massive renovation and addition. It nearly broke me. I would not recommend living through a renovation. If I could go back in time we would have rented somewhere close by or found a different home that didn’t need such extensive work. It is not for the faint of heart. Now we are very pleased with the work and the home looks great, but it was incredibly disruptive to live here during the construction.

Can you say more about what exactly was disruptive and terrible about it?

(As someone planning to stay in our home during a renovation this is terrifying, but we are not losing use of our kitchen and don't expect too much dust in our main living areas, so maybe it will be okay? Or maybe those aren't the main problems at all and we're still doomed to be miserable? I dunno.)

Do you work at home? That’s where it becomes most wearing and untenable. And managing pets.
Dust (and the health risks), bad odors from paint etc, less privacy in your home, having guys working, playing radios, hammering all day, disruptions to ask you questions, supplies in your non work spaces, decisions, everything costing more than it should. It’s wearing.

Buy a larger house.

We got a 6 month apartment rental and moved out for 6 months.

We did a major renovation when the kids were preschool and 2nd grade. We worked with an architect who was closely associated with a builder (basically design/build but not cookie cutter) which meant costs and timeline were better controlled. We moved out for six months and they got it done. Family room addition and kitchen expansion, bumped out entryway, new primary bedroom suite on top, and reconfiguration of existing bedroom level. I would not have survived staying in the house. 16 years later we are still in the house and very happy with what we did.

Anonymous wrote:We just finished up living in our new (old) house during a massive renovation and addition. It nearly broke me. I would not recommend living through a renovation. If I could go back in time we would have rented somewhere close by or found a different home that didn’t need such extensive work. It is not for the faint of heart. Now we are very pleased with the work and the home looks great, but it was incredibly disruptive to live here during the construction.

Can you say more about what exactly was disruptive and terrible about it?

(As someone planning to stay in our home during a renovation this is terrifying, but we are not losing use of our kitchen and don't expect too much dust in our main living areas, so maybe it will be okay? Or maybe those aren't the main problems at all and we're still doomed to be miserable? I dunno.)

We just finished up living in our new (old) house during a massive renovation and addition. It nearly broke me. I would not recommend living through a renovation. If I could go back in time we would have rented somewhere close by or found a different home that didn’t need such extensive work. It is not for the faint of heart. Now we are very pleased with the work and the home looks great, but it was incredibly disruptive to live here during the construction.

Anonymous wrote:It'll be a pain no matter what, but in most cases, the end results are worth it.

We went through ours when the kids were 2 and 5, both working full time. There's no ideal age. In general, I'd say do it sooner rather than later to get it over with and to enjoy the new space longer.

We did not move out for 99% of the reno. It's really unpleasant at times, but the plus side is that we're on site everyday and can monitor progress and check for issues. Expect re-dos. We've caught some significant issues before the drywalls were put back in, so that's fortunate. When you're living offsite, make sure you check on the house every day.

What did you have done, and which parts of it were really unpleasant?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just move. Easier than divorce and ends up cheaper than reno.

+1

I think I read somewhere that major renovations are a significant trigger of divorces. Of course, there have to be other underlying issues, but the stress of the renovation can be so great that it pushes people over the edge.

Oh come on. Either cite the source or don't mention somethong that you may or may not have read. Renovations are not that bad even when things go wrong.