Anonymous wrote:As a Jew I am ashamed of OP's greed.

As a jew I think she's an idiot.

Anonymous wrote:This post is so ridiculous. $500k household income and complaining about money? The irony is staggering!! WTF??

Cool- then it’s not the post for you. If you check out the private school forum, 400-500k HHI is absolutely in the “lower quartile” of HHIs for student households. I would not be sending my kid to an expensive independent school on our HHI if Jewish day school were not a priority. And even though it is a priority, it would be a major expense that would require having fewer kids than desired or spending half of our HHI on tuition and camp in a HCOL area. I’m not sure what else to say. We live in a normal house with a normal mortgage, max out 401k, take 1-2 vacations per year. We live a very average lifestyle. We both work. We watch money. We don’t buy designer clothes. And so on.

Sounds like you need to cut back on other expenses, like vacations.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, keep an eye on antisemitism in your local public schools. Since you mention you're in a high cost of living area, I suspect you may also be in a place that is at some real risk of making Jews feel demonized and unwelcome in schools now and in the coming years. It is something to consider as you make your decision.

Op here. It’s a big factor in my decision. I am completely in support of Jewish day schools. I just don’t know how much I’m supposed to sacrifice financially for it - do I sacrifice having another kid? Vacations? Savings?

Yes, if you need to. You think you should get aid and go on fancy vacations?

Op here. No I do not. But on the other hand, the financial aid system at this school is broken because if I don’t get aid, I am subsidizing other families with stay at home parents making 75k bar mitzvahs who have the gall to apply for and take aid. So - I don’t feel like making an enormous financial sacrifice to subsidize other people’s leisurely lifestyles. The majority of people at this school get financial aid, and instead, they could just make tuition more affordable so it’s more generally accessible.

What I have an issue with is the lack of transparency. If I make 450k and use half of my post-tax income to pay for tuition, forgoing other expenses, while another family with the same income applies and receives aid, it’s not a fair or efficient system.

PP's got it.

Public school is paid by taxpayers.

If you turn away from public school, you are looking for something else. You can pay the same $20K taxpayers give, to get a privately run school that is like a public but has a different perspective (religious, gifted, vocational, etc) or you can pay more for a private school that puts in more effort (smaller classes, fancier facilities, sense of exclusion), not just different priorities.

Anonymous wrote:
It’s almost ironic that the less observant schools cost more, because those are the people most likely to turn away from it altogether.

I don't think it's ironic. The more observant schools, like many Catholic parochial schools, or Evangelical Christian schools come from a mindset that a religious educational environment is something that should be available to every child of the faith. They often have facilities and offerings that are less fancy and developed than the public schools. They have parent volunteers taking on various functions to make it affordable. People who choose these schools aren't making their decision "Who has the fancier gym?" or "What is the student-teacher ratio compared to public?" or "How many periods of music in the week?" They're looking for religion first, and if that means things are a little scruffier, and the classes are a little bigger, and the soccer coach is a parent volunteer, and the computers are out of date they are OK with it.

Parents who are looking at Milton or JDS are looking for a private school experience. Yes, they value Judaism, but not at the expense of other things, so the schools need to have facilities and staff and offerings that exceed the public schools, and that are mostly comparable to other private schools. And running a private school that has those things is expensive.

Should there be cheap scruffy conservative or reform Jewish schools? Or cheap scruffy mainline protestant schools or secular schools? Is there a market for them? I don't know that there is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really understand this language about "I'm sacrificing X to get this education."

Private education is a luxury. When people purchase a luxury, they have less money to purchase other luxuries. Except for people with insane wealth, people choose between luxuries. That doesn't mean they "sacrifice" all the other luxuries they didn't buy. It's just a bizarre way to look at it.

I don't hear it in other contexts. "We had fun on a ski trip to Aspen but we had to sacrifice a lot to go there. We gave up the alps for it!" or "Thank you for complementing my Birkin, I sacrificed a Land Rover to get it!"

If Jewish Day School is a luxury that's important to you, then choose it! The kids I know whose parents have chosen it have thrived.

I'm also laughing at the "Catholic and Protestant schools cost less than $20K." Has this person looked up Prep or Sidwell's or the Cathedral schools' tuition recently?

If you're active in the Jewish community, there is definitely a push toward day school education as part of a full Jewish life for your family. It is not presented as a luxury, but as an important part of religious education and Jewish identity. That's not to say that everyone (or even the majority) does it. But it's not the same as other luxuries.

But then, if it's perceived as a necessity, and I can see that I have family members who think that way about Catholic parochial schools, then the idea that you're sacrificing luxuries makes even less sense.

I consider childcare to be a necessity. I didn't pay for childcare and think "Oh, I'm sacrificing a tropical beach vacation! Because in my mind that wasn't a choice I was ever considering. OP is clearly thinking of it as two luxuries she is choosing between.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't really understand this language about "I'm sacrificing X to get this education."

Private education is a luxury. When people purchase a luxury, they have less money to purchase other luxuries. Except for people with insane wealth, people choose between luxuries. That doesn't mean they "sacrifice" all the other luxuries they didn't buy. It's just a bizarre way to look at it.

I don't hear it in other contexts. "We had fun on a ski trip to Aspen but we had to sacrifice a lot to go there. We gave up the alps for it!" or "Thank you for complementing my Birkin, I sacrificed a Land Rover to get it!"

If Jewish Day School is a luxury that's important to you, then choose it! The kids I know whose parents have chosen it have thrived.

I'm also laughing at the "Catholic and Protestant schools cost less than $20K." Has this person looked up Prep or Sidwell's or the Cathedral schools' tuition recently?

If you're active in the Jewish community, there is definitely a push toward day school education as part of a full Jewish life for your family. It is not presented as a luxury, but as an important part of religious education and Jewish identity. That's not to say that everyone (or even the majority) does it. But it's not the same as other luxuries.

This is not true. "The Jewish community" is a diverse big tent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, keep an eye on antisemitism in your local public schools. Since you mention you're in a high cost of living area, I suspect you may also be in a place that is at some real risk of making Jews feel demonized and unwelcome in schools now and in the coming years. It is something to consider as you make your decision.

Op here. It’s a big factor in my decision. I am completely in support of Jewish day schools. I just don’t know how much I’m supposed to sacrifice financially for it - do I sacrifice having another kid? Vacations? Savings?

That's not what "completely" means. You think God finds your luxury international vacations a priority?

Savings aren't "sacrificed", they are "spent" on things you "completely" support.

Anonymous wrote:I don't really understand this language about "I'm sacrificing X to get this education."

Private education is a luxury. When people purchase a luxury, they have less money to purchase other luxuries. Except for people with insane wealth, people choose between luxuries. That doesn't mean they "sacrifice" all the other luxuries they didn't buy. It's just a bizarre way to look at it.

I don't hear it in other contexts. "We had fun on a ski trip to Aspen but we had to sacrifice a lot to go there. We gave up the alps for it!" or "Thank you for complementing my Birkin, I sacrificed a Land Rover to get it!"

If Jewish Day School is a luxury that's important to you, then choose it! The kids I know whose parents have chosen it have thrived.

I'm also laughing at the "Catholic and Protestant schools cost less than $20K." Has this person looked up Prep or Sidwell's or the Cathedral schools' tuition recently?

If you're active in the Jewish community, there is definitely a push toward day school education as part of a full Jewish life for your family. It is not presented as a luxury, but as an important part of religious education and Jewish identity. That's not to say that everyone (or even the majority) does it. But it's not the same as other luxuries.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a troll post. You can afford to send 3 kids to private and summer camp.

I assure you it’s not a troll post. We are in a HCOL area. Tuition for three kids would be minimum 100k and closer to 150k if they’re older. That’s almost half of our take home income.

Summer camp is another 10-15k per kid for the summer- the cost of a full tuition essentially. Add in mortgage (which is very reasonable), medical/insurance costs, soaring food costs, childcare/costs of two working parents, extracurriculars/tutoring, retirement savings, other savings… it goes quickly. Jewish day school is a major expense. Yes, any private school is a major expense, but I wouldn’t otherwise choose private school unless I was wealthier or my kids had a specific need that warranted it.

It’s a huge financial sacrifice. It’s almost ironic that the less observant schools cost more, because those are the people most likely to turn away from it altogether.

You realize many people do it on far less than you. You are extremely wealthy and can do it if you want to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, keep an eye on antisemitism in your local public schools. Since you mention you're in a high cost of living area, I suspect you may also be in a place that is at some real risk of making Jews feel demonized and unwelcome in schools now and in the coming years. It is something to consider as you make your decision.

Op here. It’s a big factor in my decision. I am completely in support of Jewish day schools. I just don’t know how much I’m supposed to sacrifice financially for it - do I sacrifice having another kid? Vacations? Savings?

Yes, if you need to. You think you should get aid and go on fancy vacations?

You can't say all of "the sticker price is too expensive" and "I'm shocked that people in my income bracket get discounts" and "wealthy people should give money to support the school", unless you are an idiot.

As a Jew I am ashamed of OP's greed.

I don't really understand this language about "I'm sacrificing X to get this education."

Private education is a luxury. When people purchase a luxury, they have less money to purchase other luxuries. Except for people with insane wealth, people choose between luxuries. That doesn't mean they "sacrifice" all the other luxuries they didn't buy. It's just a bizarre way to look at it.

I don't hear it in other contexts. "We had fun on a ski trip to Aspen but we had to sacrifice a lot to go there. We gave up the alps for it!" or "Thank you for complementing my Birkin, I sacrificed a Land Rover to get it!"

If Jewish Day School is a luxury that's important to you, then choose it! The kids I know whose parents have chosen it have thrived.

I'm also laughing at the "Catholic and Protestant schools cost less than $20K." Has this person looked up Prep or Sidwell's or the Cathedral schools' tuition recently?