well this thread went sideways and never got back on track.

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked people care so much about HSV which is a nuisance and not HIV, given DC has a pretty high rate of HIV.

I wish people wouldn’t just say things without backing them up with statistics. It’s an actual crime to have sex with someone and not disclose that you have HIV. Plus-no matter how you want to spin it, HIV is still very much most prevalent in the gay and needle drug communities. And there are preventives that are pretty much given to the gay community like candy these days. The rate of HIV has gone down consistently. It’s also still a thing for homeless/sex worker/drug users to have babies with HIV but by and large it’s not typically straight people who aren’t doing drugs who are getting new cases.

I would be way more afraid of herpes and syphilis.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My answer as a woman who is dating for a little over a year on OLD: no, there is no chance to find an STD-free FWB. Men who seek for a relationship will be offended and will stray. Men who only seek sex will have infections. I bought a toy and vaginal cream, happy like a clam while dating looking for a real connection.

I don't have the time and money to waste on these arrangements take more time and medical check-ups after

So you really think every person who is interested in a FWB situation has an Std? What world are you living in?

OP-most sexually active adults try to be responsible. Meaning-they will get tested before or after a sexual encounter. And sometimes both. This is even MORE true for people who are married and engaging in extracurricular activities. Most know the stakes are high and won’t take that kind of chance. Contrary to what people constantly spout on this board-most people aren’t actively walking around with stds and spreading them.

[b]Do you think the group of people looking for sex with strangers online without commitment and attachment wouldn't be a high risk group for STDs? If this group doesn't have STDs, then who does? Nobody is saying every single person on the apps has an STD, but that if OP is looking for the safe way to find this, there isn't one.

+1. These people have slept with more than a handful of people.

I'm shocked people care so much about HSV which is a nuisance and not HIV, given DC has a pretty high rate of HIV.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My answer as a woman who is dating for a little over a year on OLD: no, there is no chance to find an STD-free FWB. Men who seek for a relationship will be offended and will stray. Men who only seek sex will have infections. I bought a toy and vaginal cream, happy like a clam while dating looking for a real connection.

I don't have the time and money to waste on these arrangements take more time and medical check-ups after

[b]So you really think every person who is interested in a FWB situation has an Std? What world are you living in?

OP-most sexually active adults try to be responsible. Meaning-they will get tested before or after a sexual encounter. And sometimes both. This is even MORE true for people who are married and engaging in extracurricular activities. Most know the stakes are high and won’t take that kind of chance. Contrary to what people constantly spout on this board-most people aren’t actively walking around with stds and spreading them.

Do you think the group of people looking for sex with strangers online without commitment and attachment wouldn't be a high risk group for STDs? If this group doesn't have STDs, then who does? Nobody is saying every single person on the apps has an STD, but that if OP is looking for the safe way to find this, there isn't one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people who have genital herpes know they have genital herpes. Do you think these people literally just got it and have no idea? Which means they take medicine. It also means they are going to tell you. It also means even if you don’t use protection (which you absolutely should) you are still probably not gonna get it IF they aren’t currently having an outbreak. People are married to people with genital herpes and have never given it to their spouse.

But regardless, it’s not a bad thing to be paranoid. Take precautions. All of them.

Signed-my dad has herpes. Mom never got it. Didn’t find out until I was an adult, obviously.

You are way too naive. Most people wont disclose unless you ask for tests. Because having genital hsv closes off opportunity for casually dating multiple partners. Just read online how many people get infected from ONS and then these casual sex partners deny or just block their numbers.

How do you know? How many people do you know who have genital herpes? How would you know of they are only disclosing when asked for test results? I’m asking because you seem very sure that you have met “most people” and know exactly what they do.

Anonymous wrote:Most people who have genital herpes know they have genital herpes. Do you think these people literally just got it and have no idea? Which means they take medicine. It also means they are going to tell you. It also means even if you don’t use protection (which you absolutely should) you are still probably not gonna get it IF they aren’t currently having an outbreak. People are married to people with genital herpes and have never given it to their spouse.

But regardless, it’s not a bad thing to be paranoid. Take precautions. All of them.

Signed-my dad has herpes. Mom never got it. Didn’t find out until I was an adult, obviously.

You are way too naive. Most people wont disclose unless you ask for tests. Because having genital hsv closes off opportunity for casually dating multiple partners. Just read online how many people get infected from ONS and then these casual sex partners deny or just block their numbers.

Op keep in mind that these threads go the same way every time.

According to DCUM-every single person who is not married is walking around with an incurable std.

Most people who have genital herpes know they have genital herpes. Do you think these people literally just got it and have no idea? Which means they take medicine. It also means they are going to tell you. It also means even if you don’t use protection (which you absolutely should) you are still probably not gonna get it IF they aren’t currently having an outbreak. People are married to people with genital herpes and have never given it to their spouse.

But regardless, it’s not a bad thing to be paranoid. Take precautions. All of them.

Signed-my dad has herpes. Mom never got it. Didn’t find out until I was an adult, obviously.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My answer as a woman who is dating for a little over a year on OLD: no, there is no chance to find an STD-free FWB. Men who seek for a relationship will be offended and will stray. Men who only seek sex will have infections. I bought a toy and vaginal cream, happy like a clam while dating looking for a real connection.

I don't have the time and money to waste on these arrangements take more time and medical check-ups after

So you really think every person who is interested in a FWB situation has an Std? What world are you living in?

OP-most sexually active adults try to be responsible. Meaning-they will get tested before or after a sexual encounter. And sometimes both. This is even MORE true for people who are married and engaging in extracurricular activities. Most know the stakes are high and won’t take that kind of chance. Contrary to what people constantly spout on this board-most people aren’t actively walking around with stds and spreading them.

This is so not true. At least back from when I was dating 20+ years ago. I had 20+ partners. Only one ever asked me to get tested. That's the only time I ever tested (negative). And I never asked anyone to get tested.

Yea, men are very reckless with STD testing. A lot of people on apps have HSV2; HSV1 is a pretty much a norm but I still wouldn't want to catch it for something totally casual like FWB. I would only see a man with HSV1 if I was seriously crazy about him and had hopes for a relationship/saw relationship potential

Are you negative for hsv1? It’s extremely common so you’ll be limiting yourself if you are.

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/databriefs/db304.pdf

Also all women I dated never asked about std status or insist on condom. So women are just as reckless

That's terrible you sleep with women who dont' ask for condoms. You are high risk for HPV related throat cancer in your 70s

Anonymous wrote:Everyone has herpes, most people are exposed to type 1 by age 5. Very few people have outbreaks after the initial early exposure. Because it’s so ubiquitous, doctors never test you for type 1 (when you get a std test) unless you specifically ask (and even then they hesitate.) Chances are you have antibodies for it and don’t even remember getting it.

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/herpes-hsv1-and-hsv2#:~:text=Fifty%20to%2080%20percent%20of,in%20or%20around%20the%20mouth.

No, not everyone has it. it's actually 35% for HSV1, 14% HSV2 for white non-Hispanic adults, according to your own link. And HSV infections are going down, due to anti virals use.

Anyway, this is a factor to consider: if someone is negative there is no need to get infected through casual unprotected sex. I wouldn't care if my long term partner had it though

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My answer as a woman who is dating for a little over a year on OLD: no, there is no chance to find an STD-free FWB. Men who seek for a relationship will be offended and will stray. Men who only seek sex will have infections. I bought a toy and vaginal cream, happy like a clam while dating looking for a real connection.

I don't have the time and money to waste on these arrangements take more time and medical check-ups after

So you really think every person who is interested in a FWB situation has an Std? What world are you living in?

OP-most sexually active adults try to be responsible. Meaning-they will get tested before or after a sexual encounter. And sometimes both. This is even MORE true for people who are married and engaging in extracurricular activities. Most know the stakes are high and won’t take that kind of chance. Contrary to what people constantly spout on this board-most people aren’t actively walking around with stds and spreading them.

This is so not true. At least back from when I was dating 20+ years ago. I had 20+ partners. Only one ever asked me to get tested. That's the only time I ever tested (negative). And I never asked anyone to get tested.

Yea, men are very reckless with STD testing. A lot of people on apps have HSV2; HSV1 is a pretty much a norm but I still wouldn't want to catch it for something totally casual like FWB. I would only see a man with HSV1 if I was seriously crazy about him and had hopes for a relationship/saw relationship potential

Are you negative for hsv1? It’s extremely common so you’ll be limiting yourself if you are.

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/databriefs/db304.pdf

Also all women I dated never asked about std status or insist on condom. So women are just as reckless

36% of non-Hispanic white have HSV1 that's not "extremely common". No, I don't exclude HSV1 positive partners if I see LTR potential. Still need to know the status though as it also causes genital outbreaks and there are ways to avoid it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My answer as a woman who is dating for a little over a year on OLD: no, there is no chance to find an STD-free FWB. Men who seek for a relationship will be offended and will stray. Men who only seek sex will have infections. I bought a toy and vaginal cream, happy like a clam while dating looking for a real connection.

I don't have the time and money to waste on these arrangements take more time and medical check-ups after

So you really think every person who is interested in a FWB situation has an Std? What world are you living in?

OP-most sexually active adults try to be responsible. Meaning-they will get tested before or after a sexual encounter. And sometimes both. This is even MORE true for people who are married and engaging in extracurricular activities. Most know the stakes are high and won’t take that kind of chance. Contrary to what people constantly spout on this board-most people aren’t actively walking around with stds and spreading them.

This is so not true. At least back from when I was dating 20+ years ago. I had 20+ partners. Only one ever asked me to get tested. That's the only time I ever tested (negative). And I never asked anyone to get tested.

Yea, men are very reckless with STD testing. A lot of people on apps have HSV2; HSV1 is a pretty much a norm but I still wouldn't want to catch it for something totally casual like FWB. I would only see a man with HSV1 if I was seriously crazy about him and had hopes for a relationship/saw relationship potential

“A lot of people on apps have HSV2”. Um no. A responsible person will disclose this. And I don’t have any idea how you think you would know a lot of people have this without knowing them? Weird. Anyway, it only takes one person in the situation to be responsible “get tested or we are not having sex”. Easy.

Of course yes. 70% of the population has it. You think 70% of the profiles disclose this or people do in person? No.

You are talking about HSV1. 70% of the population does not have genital herpes.

Everyone has herpes, most people are exposed to type 1 by age 5. Very few people have outbreaks after the initial early exposure. Because it’s so ubiquitous, doctors never test you for type 1 (when you get a std test) unless you specifically ask (and even then they hesitate.) Chances are you have antibodies for it and don’t even remember getting it.

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/herpes-hsv1-and-hsv2#:~:text=Fifty%20to%2080%20percent%20of,in%20or%20around%20the%20mouth.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My answer as a woman who is dating for a little over a year on OLD: no, there is no chance to find an STD-free FWB. Men who seek for a relationship will be offended and will stray. Men who only seek sex will have infections. I bought a toy and vaginal cream, happy like a clam while dating looking for a real connection.

I don't have the time and money to waste on these arrangements take more time and medical check-ups after

So you really think every person who is interested in a FWB situation has an Std? What world are you living in?

OP-most sexually active adults try to be responsible. Meaning-they will get tested before or after a sexual encounter. And sometimes both. This is even MORE true for people who are married and engaging in extracurricular activities. Most know the stakes are high and won’t take that kind of chance. Contrary to what people constantly spout on this board-most people aren’t actively walking around with stds and spreading them.

This is so not true. At least back from when I was dating 20+ years ago. I had 20+ partners. Only one ever asked me to get tested. That's the only time I ever tested (negative). And I never asked anyone to get tested.

Yea, men are very reckless with STD testing. A lot of people on apps have HSV2; HSV1 is a pretty much a norm but I still wouldn't want to catch it for something totally casual like FWB. I would only see a man with HSV1 if I was seriously crazy about him and had hopes for a relationship/saw relationship potential

Are you negative for hsv1? It’s extremely common so you’ll be limiting yourself if you are.

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/databriefs/db304.pdf

Also all women I dated never asked about std status or insist on condom. So women are just as reckless