Anonymous
Post 03/01/2024 17:51     Subject: They say they are okay with FWB then want more
Don’t go long term. Why 6 months? Too long. Are you really friends and the have sex? Don’t become friends. Focus on the sex. Focus on women just out of marriages - new divorcees with shared custody so she has free time but also doesn’t want a dude near her kids. Speaking as one … - when I was just divorced, I just wanted sex - maybe a few times with the same person tops. But 6 months of continuous hanging out would have been too much for me

And communicate communicate communicate !

But I also wanted
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2024 17:46     Subject: They say they are okay with FWB then want more
Anonymous wrote:Most women don’t want to be used.


This. FWB only benefits the man. Free sex without having to put in any work or spend any real money. Hard pass.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2024 17:46     Subject: They say they are okay with FWB then want more
You will have to find someone disordered for this. It’s human nature to bond when you mate. If you don’t you are broken. So, OP, you need to find someone broken like you.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2024 17:45     Subject: They say they are okay with FWB then want more
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I will date you, OP! I am in the same boat.

Like most women, you will catch feelings and eventually ask for more.


I am the one who said I would date OP. I disagree. I was in a FWB situation last year and the man wanted way more from me by 4-5 months. We had to break it off because we wanted different things.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2024 17:44     Subject: They say they are okay with FWB then want more
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:47 year old woman here. I agree with a few comments above: first, women grow feelings after sex. Its biological. Having sex with someone regularly makes us catch feelings. Even for someone we know isnt a good match.

Second, it sounds like you are treating these women like potential girlfriends vs fwbs. Be very clear regarding your expectations and then act accordingly. Texting every day is not a fwb. Hooking up a few times/wk is getting into gf territory. Fancy dates isnt what you do with an fwb. Actions speak louder than words.

Finally, what did these women say in their profile? Are they also looking for short term relationships or do they say they are looking for long term?


I really don't see the gender difference here. I'm a guy who equates sex with love. That's just hard-wired in.


See it or don’t. There is plenty of research on this topic that reveals men and women are seeking different things from sexual relationships.


Why invalidate his experience? I'm a woman, but I have no doubt that plenty of men out there are looking for emotion connection through sexual connection. Maybe in generalities there are some gender differences but that doesn't mean all people.


Of course people are different and some people are outliers. OP is asking why a certain thing keeps happening to him. There is an explanation which is supported via evidence which I am sharing with him because he “doesn’t see it” which is entirely understandable because he is a male.

The question of how he can date the people who are outliers like you? Likely he will need to keep dating until he comes across a rare unicorn like yourself.


I am the PP you are replying to. I was replying to the post at 16:49 responding to 16:40. Don't think 16:40 is the OP.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2024 17:40     Subject: They say they are okay with FWB then want more
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Most humans aren’t designed for sport sex, once the chemicals start flowing biology takes over.


+1

BUT it’s also possible to go through the whole cycle of

1. crazy attraction—>
2. normal level of attraction—>
3. familiar but still have chemistry—>
4. chemistry cools enough to be true FWB

all without getting serious with someone. You might end up loving the person as friend, but it’s not the frantic lusty stuff from the early days and you don’t *need* to be with the person.




Going from being crazy attracted to someone your sleeping with to that decreasing to just a body would make the sec go from amazing to meh.

What’s the point? That’s basically like being married.

Anonymous
Post 03/01/2024 17:33     Subject: They say they are okay with FWB then want more
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:47 year old woman here. I agree with a few comments above: first, women grow feelings after sex. Its biological. Having sex with someone regularly makes us catch feelings. Even for someone we know isnt a good match.

Second, it sounds like you are treating these women like potential girlfriends vs fwbs. Be very clear regarding your expectations and then act accordingly. Texting every day is not a fwb. Hooking up a few times/wk is getting into gf territory. Fancy dates isnt what you do with an fwb. Actions speak louder than words.

Finally, what did these women say in their profile? Are they also looking for short term relationships or do they say they are looking for long term?


I really don't see the gender difference here. I'm a guy who equates sex with love. That's just hard-wired in.


See it or don’t. There is plenty of research on this topic that reveals men and women are seeking different things from sexual relationships.


Why invalidate his experience? I'm a woman, but I have no doubt that plenty of men out there are looking for emotion connection through sexual connection. Maybe in generalities there are some gender differences but that doesn't mean all people.


Of course people are different and some people are outliers. OP is asking why a certain thing keeps happening to him. There is an explanation which is supported via evidence which I am sharing with him because he “doesn’t see it” which is entirely understandable because he is a male.

The question of how he can date the people who are outliers like you? Likely he will need to keep dating until he comes across a rare unicorn like yourself.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2024 17:31     Subject: They say they are okay with FWB then want more
Anonymous wrote:Most women don’t want to be used.


Frankly, I felt more used in a marriage than any FWB situation.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2024 17:31     Subject: They say they are okay with FWB then want more
Isn't six months pretty long for one of these relationships?
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2024 17:27     Subject: They say they are okay with FWB then want more
Anonymous wrote:Most humans aren’t designed for sport sex, once the chemicals start flowing biology takes over.


+1

BUT it’s also possible to go through the whole cycle of

1. crazy attraction—>
2. normal level of attraction—>
3. familiar but still have chemistry—>
4. chemistry cools enough to be true FWB

all without getting serious with someone. You might end up loving the person as friend, but it’s not the frantic lusty stuff from the early days and you don’t *need* to be with the person.


Anonymous
Post 03/01/2024 17:24     Subject: They say they are okay with FWB then want more
get a sugar baby instead.

what woman wants to be used like that?
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2024 17:04     Subject: They say they are okay with FWB then want more
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:47 year old woman here. I agree with a few comments above: first, women grow feelings after sex. Its biological. Having sex with someone regularly makes us catch feelings. Even for someone we know isnt a good match.

Second, it sounds like you are treating these women like potential girlfriends vs fwbs. Be very clear regarding your expectations and then act accordingly. Texting every day is not a fwb. Hooking up a few times/wk is getting into gf territory. Fancy dates isnt what you do with an fwb. Actions speak louder than words.

Finally, what did these women say in their profile? Are they also looking for short term relationships or do they say they are looking for long term?


I really don't see the gender difference here. I'm a guy who equates sex with love. That's just hard-wired in.


See it or don’t. There is plenty of research on this topic that reveals men and women are seeking different things from sexual relationships.


Why invalidate his experience? I'm a woman, but I have no doubt that plenty of men out there are looking for emotion connection through sexual connection. Maybe in generalities there are some gender differences but that doesn't mean all people.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2024 16:49     Subject: They say they are okay with FWB then want more
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:47 year old woman here. I agree with a few comments above: first, women grow feelings after sex. Its biological. Having sex with someone regularly makes us catch feelings. Even for someone we know isnt a good match.

Second, it sounds like you are treating these women like potential girlfriends vs fwbs. Be very clear regarding your expectations and then act accordingly. Texting every day is not a fwb. Hooking up a few times/wk is getting into gf territory. Fancy dates isnt what you do with an fwb. Actions speak louder than words.

Finally, what did these women say in their profile? Are they also looking for short term relationships or do they say they are looking for long term?


I really don't see the gender difference here. I'm a guy who equates sex with love. That's just hard-wired in.


See it or don’t. There is plenty of research on this topic that reveals men and women are seeking different things from sexual relationships.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2024 16:40     Subject: They say they are okay with FWB then want more
Anonymous wrote:47 year old woman here. I agree with a few comments above: first, women grow feelings after sex. Its biological. Having sex with someone regularly makes us catch feelings. Even for someone we know isnt a good match.

Second, it sounds like you are treating these women like potential girlfriends vs fwbs. Be very clear regarding your expectations and then act accordingly. Texting every day is not a fwb. Hooking up a few times/wk is getting into gf territory. Fancy dates isnt what you do with an fwb. Actions speak louder than words.

Finally, what did these women say in their profile? Are they also looking for short term relationships or do they say they are looking for long term?


I really don't see the gender difference here. I'm a guy who equates sex with love. That's just hard-wired in.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2024 16:31     Subject: They say they are okay with FWB then want more
Most humans aren’t designed for sport sex, once the chemicals start flowing biology takes over.