Anonymous wrote:Most fed lawyers love it.

Yep.

Feds and IT folks are the only people I know who are happy year in year out with their jobs.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a happy lawyer. I practiced at a firm for 8 years and have been in-house for 7.

I was miserable toward the end of my time at the firm and the first 4 years in-house were rough too. As I got more seniority in-house, I was better able to control my workflow and schedule. I’m now involved with higher level strategy and even more complex legal issues and this has been the sweet spot for me.

I also did a lot of work to understand my own unhappiness and work stress and learned to set boundaries that worked for me.

I think a lot of this comes down to personality though. I inherently like legal work and problem solving in intense situations and was bored out of my mind in slower jobs. If I’m being honest, I’m also really motivated by money (took me a long time to admit that to myself! But then I realized that I could let myself be happy about that part of my job too.

I’m in my mid40s and strongly believe that everyone has to find their own path, so if law isn’t working for your spouse, sounds like it’s time to try something new.

This is me! I am thick skinned, I like some intensity, I like being well respected by people around me, I like being the best paid person I know.

Some people don't have the personality for this.

Anonymous wrote:After practicing law for 10+ years, I did a top 10 MBA. I noticed that, while all my law colleagues complained about their careers, all my MBA colleagues bragged about theirs. But wait, the MBA folks made less money, worked just as many hours, and had equally prickly colleagues and bosses. I came to conclude that law attracts overthinking pessimists (right?), while business schools attract loudmouth braggards/salesmen. Law is not worse than finance/consulting/tech, it's just that lawyers tend to be Debbie Downers.

This is very true!

Love my job — counsel at a financial regulator!

From the time I went to law school in '97 until the time I quit practicing in '16, I can count on one hand the happy lawyers I met and I don't need all the digits to do so. I practiced in Big Law, legal aid, public defense, prosecution, solo private practice and had peers in all of those places with whom I kept in touch.

The people who are drawn to law school and lawyering aren't the most positive types to begin with, the rates of all the bad things are very high in the profession (divorce, substance use disorders, mental illness, chronic illnesses, suicide) most likely because most lawyers are perfectionists and the practice of law is incredibly stressful not only due to the hours but due to the level of responsibility being assumed, often for other people's lives and well-being.

I spent a couple of week sick with covid recently and watched a bunch of CourtTV. I started to feel a hankering to get back into the courtroom. Then I remembered how miserable I was in those days - yes, the work was rewarding, but the stress was ridiculous and my health was devastated by it.

I am happy with my job @ biglaw but have over the years focused my practice on clients who are people who appreciate what my team does for them and don't manipulate us because they can and also worked hard to invest in my team so my co workers are also people I enjoy working with. If you are just in it for the money or prestige you will be unhappy but that is kind of on you - you have to enjoy what you do if you are going to spend 50-60 hours a work working on it. I like the substantive transactional area I am in and it has enough variety to make me feel like I am always learning something new. I also enjoy training younger attorneys. That said I pushed through many years as an associate and young partner working for some very toxic people who also tend to have toxic clients but viewed it that the more experience I was able to get the more autonomy I'd have later which turned out to be true

I’m a happy lawyer. I practiced at a firm for 8 years and have been in-house for 7.

I was miserable toward the end of my time at the firm and the first 4 years in-house were rough too. As I got more seniority in-house, I was better able to control my workflow and schedule. I’m now involved with higher level strategy and even more complex legal issues and this has been the sweet spot for me.

I also did a lot of work to understand my own unhappiness and work stress and learned to set boundaries that worked for me.

I think a lot of this comes down to personality though. I inherently like legal work and problem solving in intense situations and was bored out of my mind in slower jobs. If I’m being honest, I’m also really motivated by money (took me a long time to admit that to myself! But then I realized that I could let myself be happy about that part of my job too.

I’m in my mid40s and strongly believe that everyone has to find their own path, so if law isn’t working for your spouse, sounds like it’s time to try something new.

Anonymous wrote:After practicing law for 10+ years, I did a top 10 MBA. I noticed that, while all my law colleagues complained about their careers, all my MBA colleagues bragged about theirs. But wait, the MBA folks made less money, worked just as many hours, and had equally prickly colleagues and bosses. I came to conclude that law attracts overthinking pessimists (right?), while business schools attract loudmouth braggards/salesmen. Law is not worse than finance/consulting/tech, it's just that lawyers tend to be Debbie Downers.

This exactly. I posted above that my friends with graduate degrees and real jobs all work just as many hours. There’s just some kind of acceptance that lawyers like to complain about their jobs. Even though we make way more money than everyone else.

The IP attorneys I work with seem to be pretty happy with their jobs. But they’re a different breed than most attorneys.

After practicing law for 10+ years, I did a top 10 MBA. I noticed that, while all my law colleagues complained about their careers, all my MBA colleagues bragged about theirs. But wait, the MBA folks made less money, worked just as many hours, and had equally prickly colleagues and bosses. I came to conclude that law attracts overthinking pessimists (right?), while business schools attract loudmouth braggards/salesmen. Law is not worse than finance/consulting/tech, it's just that lawyers tend to be Debbie Downers.

I've been a lawyer for over 20 years and have loved almost every second. I just don't understand lawyers who whine about billable hours, client expectations, student loans, "work/life balance," you name it.

The field really is a beautiful profession. If you are a bleeding heart saint, you can work sue school districts into providing adequate services for disabled children, if you are money hungry, you can sue Elon Musk in Chancery Court, if you just want to go home to your family, you can do real estate closings all day.

I currently work as a solo commercial plaintiff's lawyer and i can estimate how many cases I need to take to hit my target income (which I set). I accept those cases, work them, and watch movies the rest of the time. What's not to love?

I’m a relatively happy fed lawyer. The key is that my colleagues are great people (smart, interesting, nice) the work is pretty interesting and in the public interest and the work life balance is good.

But nothing is perfect and if someone wanted to find negatives they could so hard to know if it’s your DH or law in general.

It’s the jumping from job to job. The grass is always greener, but it takes a few years to really feel comfortable and good at your job. If they could settle down and stick it out, they would probably be more content eventually.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love to practice law, I love the subject matter, I love making big money. I hate the personalities at a law firm. Hate, hate, hate. I hate the politics, the fifedoms, the conniving, etc. But I stay for the money.

And a PP mentioned that lawyers are there to handle difficult things. That is the essence of private practice, at least in a large NY firm. No one calls us with anything good or positive, or east, it is all last minuted bet the company emergencies, or mega deals, or the most complex new financial product, etc etc etc. Everything is of a massive consequence and the lawyers are the only ones looking at the details. We're the last line of defense, so if it goes wrong the client has someone to blame. I equate it to the lawyers being the nerds in high school doing the homework for the quarterback and the head cheerleader on a friday night. But, that's what the money is for.

OP here and I think the personalities are a big part of it. Spouse tried multiple firms and liked a couple people that they worked with most closely but there seems to be a lot of backstabbing and hierarchy. And no perspective at all. I work in a field where if I mess up someone could get really hurt. So it just seems odd how agitated they get over what is honestly just money.

I struggled with this and was internally rolling my eyes in biglaw. Some people like to feel super important and thrive on everything being a "fire drill" or "emergency" that they are essential for. I always felt like, who cares.

There are places where people have a little more perspective/ stress level is more commensurate with the type of work (it's important but not like lives are on the line)...

Anonymous wrote:I love to practice law, I love the subject matter, I love making big money. I hate the personalities at a law firm. Hate, hate, hate. I hate the politics, the fifedoms, the conniving, etc. But I stay for the money.

And a PP mentioned that lawyers are there to handle difficult things. That is the essence of private practice, at least in a large NY firm. No one calls us with anything good or positive, or east, it is all last minuted bet the company emergencies, or mega deals, or the most complex new financial product, etc etc etc. Everything is of a massive consequence and the lawyers are the only ones looking at the details. We're the last line of defense, so if it goes wrong the client has someone to blame. I equate it to the lawyers being the nerds in high school doing the homework for the quarterback and the head cheerleader on a friday night. But, that's what the money is for.

OP here and I think the personalities are a big part of it. Spouse tried multiple firms and liked a couple people that they worked with most closely but there seems to be a lot of backstabbing and hierarchy. And no perspective at all. I work in a field where if I mess up someone could get really hurt. So it just seems odd how agitated they get over what is honestly just money.