Anonymous
Post 03/03/2024 18:43     Subject: Help me declutter
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have ADHD and have serious clutter problem. But I just had to deal with my Parent's junk and don't want to do that to my DS. So I read some online articles about Swedish Death Cleaning. Which is about making things easier for your family once you are gone. Doesn't mean you have to throw everything away. Keep sentimental things, but put a note with it that says it can be tossed once you are gone.

I realized I kept a lot of stuff for the person I used to be (hello old clothes) or the person I want to be, but aren't (hello unfinished craft projects). So I had to be really clear about who I am today. And what works for my life today.

Then I went in with the mentality that I was throwing everything away. Then only kept the things that I actively use now or within the next year (like xmas decorations). But this change really helped me because I have a hard time letting go of things. So by forcing myself to throw everything away, I could focus on what to keep.

I also gave myself permission to not donate anything. That's my other sticking point. I had category of things to definitely throw away and maybe throw away/donate. DH went through that box and decided what could be donated. But I suspect 90% was thrown away. But I didn't have to make that decision. (decision fatigue is real)

Then, the stuff I kept had to have a home. Figure out where it goes, so when it's time to clean up, you know where it goes.

The most useful thing I used is FocusMate. It's a way to have someone virtually keep you accountable.


This is huge. So many people have storage full of stuff they don't use, so the stuff they do use is sitting around, cluttering up the house. I take the approach that anything that is in a closet or drawer is suspect and subject to being tossed if I haven't touched it within X months. Once you get rid of the stuff that's filling up storage, then you can find a home for the stuff you actually do use. The biggest help is the place for a thing be close to where it is used and, very importantly, easy and convenient to put away. If you have something you use all the time, and you have to walk upstairs or move something to put it away, chances are that's not going to happen.

Make a storage space if you need to. My DH always has a bunch of little things (business cards, nuts and bolts, etc) that he is "using" and wants to leave on the kitchen island. So a bought an attractive glass bowl with a lid that sits on the island and that's where all his stuff can go.

Also, inheriting too much stuff from several people (including a hoarder house), has given me a huge impetus to get rid of clutter. I do keep some sentimental things, but I got rid of a lot of stuff when I realized that I have no obligation to keep what was sentimental to my parents, and my kids would have no interest in a lot of the things that are sentimental to me after I'm gone. Agree that you shouldn't give a second thought to trashing (vs. donating) things that you've bought, but I do think taking some time to think about sentimental things helps. There were things that I couldn't bring myself to throw away, but I thought about who would like to have these things and made an effort to find them a new home. I had a nice collection of old photographs of people (not family) I didn't know from my Mom's home town. It turned out that the local historical society was thrilled to get them. Box in the mail. Done. I inherited an art collection that was nice, but not hugely valuable. I kept the pieces that I liked and could display, and donated the rest to a museum that has an exhibit of this type of art. I told them they could auction or donate elsewhere if they didn't want to display them. I had extended family members that wanted some heirlooms that I didn't have room for. I thought I might be sad getting rid of these things, but it was actually very liberating.

I did see a video about decluttering clothing that had the same thought about not keeping clothes that you bought for "another version of you" that only exists in your mind and that you don't really wear, and I really like that.


You make a good point about storage. I find that I get complacent if things are in drawers or closets - I have room so why not keep all the things?? But then I realize that the pajama drawer will barely close because there are too many pajamas or the linen closet is stuffed to bursting mostly with things I never use. Like this poster said, I need to get rid of all the things I don't use and use the drawers and closets for things I do use.

Also the last comment about clothes is on point. I listened to a podcast today and the host said to keep clothes you DO wear. I have a lot of stuff I could wear but don't, so again I hesitate to declutter those things if they are in the closet tucked away, seemingly doing no harm. But the harm is that the closet is less useable than it could be - it would be much easier to get clothes in and out if there are less clothes! Think of the closets shown in magazines or in closet company ads. Mine could look like that if it had about 80% less stuff in it.
Anonymous
Post 03/03/2024 17:24     Subject: Re:Help me declutter

I had done Marie Kondo once and just handled the clothes category with her method. I did not find the time to do her other categories. It was truly liberating. It was around 7 years ago, and I am ready to cull clothes once again. But a lot of her system and organization for clothes is still in place.

I am planning to do Marie Kondo method on smaller categories like shoes, makeup, outerwear, sports equipment, tools, flower pots, spices, kitchen gadgets, sauces/dressing in the fridge, garden tools and indoor plants. And now I know I can make a dent.

Over the years, I have also emptied out rooms and brought back only the stuff that I need. It has uncluttered most of my house but there are two rooms in the basement that have reached hoarder levels. So, I need to sort that out too.

Anonymous
Post 03/03/2024 16:16     Subject: Help me declutter
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In your office, go drawer by drawer and, if applicable, shelf by shelf.

You don’t need 100 clips. Throw most away. Throw old books and pamphlets away. This will be blasphemous to some, but don’t get in the trap about wondering what to donate and what to throw away. Just throw it all away. It will set you free.


Please donate old books in good condition. Or alert your Buy Nothing Group that you are having a free yard sale in your front yard from 9-11 on Saturday. There are some very low-income people who would love your kids’ books. SMH at how self-absorbed some of you are.


This advice was directed to the OP, who wants to clean out her office first. No kid wants an instructional manual from 2012 or a book summarizing agriculture legislation in 2015. Save your little bleeding heart and accusations for someone else. If OP dithers, it’s not going to get done.

Throw it away.
Anonymous
Post 03/03/2024 15:37     Subject: Help me declutter
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Re: kids school work. How much of it do we save? My DC is 12 and I have artwork and school work starting from Pre-K in 3 cardboard boxes now. Do you let them pick a few and toss the rest?


PP and I just moved an entire box of my schoolwork, art projects, awards, notes. For context: I’m 54 and began school in 1975! I am now the mom of 3DC-all college age+ and also have boxes of THEIR memorabilia. I’m drowning.


My mom kept a ton (I'm 60). Looking through her HS stuff, I realized that almost none of her or my stuff would mean anything to my kid after I'm gone. So I went through and tossed almost all of it. I kept just a handful of very cute or specific things (wedding announcements, etc) and put it and the few pieces of memorabilia I kept in labeled file folders. I have one small archive box (like the National Archive uses) of records and memorabilia and one small archive box of family letters.

Over the years, I had put my kid's art in binders, but I still have too much and need to thin it out. Many people now suggest taking pictures and tossing them, but I may be too old school to do that with everything. I do have a nice leather bound scrap book where I keep things like the most special notes that DC wrote to me, along with graduation announcements, etc. It's a relatively small amount of stuff -- DC is grown, and there's just one book. TBH, I could probably toss the rest of the binders and I might soon. These days I make a photo book for each year, and if I had a small child still, I'd probably take pictures of some of the art from each year and include it in the book.

I also inherited boxes and boxes of my Grandfather's files (he died in the early 70's). I could see why they hadn't been tossed because they had letters to and from many famous figures (RFK, LBJ, Sam Rayburn, etc), invitations to JFK & LBJ's inaugurals, etc all filed alphabetically with things like receipts for oil changes. I went through those and kept all the interesting things and put them in a binder. I actually enjoy looking at it from time to time.

TL/DR: If you keep too much, it's a waste because it will just stay hidden away in boxes and no one will ever look at it until you die and your kids throw it away. Pull out the most special things and put them into a scrap book or binder (or maybe take a picture and make a book) and toss the rest.


NP. Just wanted to say this is really helpful.
Anonymous
Post 03/03/2024 10:09     Subject: Help me declutter
Anonymous wrote:In your office, go drawer by drawer and, if applicable, shelf by shelf.

You don’t need 100 clips. Throw most away. Throw old books and pamphlets away. This will be blasphemous to some, but don’t get in the trap about wondering what to donate and what to throw away. Just throw it all away. It will set you free.


Please donate old books in good condition. Or alert your Buy Nothing Group that you are having a free yard sale in your front yard from 9-11 on Saturday. There are some very low-income people who would love your kids’ books. SMH at how self-absorbed some of you are.
Anonymous
Post 03/03/2024 01:20     Subject: Help me declutter
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Re: kids school work. How much of it do we save? My DC is 12 and I have artwork and school work starting from Pre-K in 3 cardboard boxes now. Do you let them pick a few and toss the rest?


PP and I just moved an entire box of my schoolwork, art projects, awards, notes. For context: I’m 54 and began school in 1975! I am now the mom of 3DC-all college age+ and also have boxes of THEIR memorabilia. I’m drowning.


My mom kept a ton (I'm 60). Looking through her HS stuff, I realized that almost none of her or my stuff would mean anything to my kid after I'm gone. So I went through and tossed almost all of it. I kept just a handful of very cute or specific things (wedding announcements, etc) and put it and the few pieces of memorabilia I kept in labeled file folders. I have one small archive box (like the National Archive uses) of records and memorabilia and one small archive box of family letters.

Over the years, I had put my kid's art in binders, but I still have too much and need to thin it out. Many people now suggest taking pictures and tossing them, but I may be too old school to do that with everything. I do have a nice leather bound scrap book where I keep things like the most special notes that DC wrote to me, along with graduation announcements, etc. It's a relatively small amount of stuff -- DC is grown, and there's just one book. TBH, I could probably toss the rest of the binders and I might soon. These days I make a photo book for each year, and if I had a small child still, I'd probably take pictures of some of the art from each year and include it in the book.

I also inherited boxes and boxes of my Grandfather's files (he died in the early 70's). I could see why they hadn't been tossed because they had letters to and from many famous figures (RFK, LBJ, Sam Rayburn, etc), invitations to JFK & LBJ's inaugurals, etc all filed alphabetically with things like receipts for oil changes. I went through those and kept all the interesting things and put them in a binder. I actually enjoy looking at it from time to time.

TL/DR: If you keep too much, it's a waste because it will just stay hidden away in boxes and no one will ever look at it until you die and your kids throw it away. Pull out the most special things and put them into a scrap book or binder (or maybe take a picture and make a book) and toss the rest.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2024 22:27     Subject: Help me declutter
Re: donating, check out Greendrop if they're in your area (gogreendrop.com). They pick up from my front porch and they're in my neighborhood weekly. I generally schedule pickups every 3-4 weeks; sometimes I have 1 box of stuff to put out and sometimes it's a bigger pile. I just keep my donation box(es) going, and when they're coming I tape them up and put them out.

Saves me the problem of driving around with Goodwill stuff in my car for months at a time, or having to deal with posting it on Buy Nothing. (I love the spirit and the enthusiasm of my Buy Nothing group, but posting and gifting stuff can be too many steps for my addled brain to manage.)
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2024 21:58     Subject: Help me declutter
Anonymous wrote:Re: kids school work. How much of it do we save? My DC is 12 and I have artwork and school work starting from Pre-K in 3 cardboard boxes now. Do you let them pick a few and toss the rest?

A friend gave me a great advice on kid’s school work: only save the work that shows their personality. It was really helpful.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2024 17:40     Subject: Help me declutter
There's an enormous psychological component to this. One of the things that has to happen is you have to convince yourself that there's a cost to keeping stuff. It's easy to tell yourself, "well, I bought that once because I thought I needed it, I might need it again so I may as well keep it."

Anything that can be bought on Amazon you should think long and hard about keeping. Ask yourself, if you were at a garage sale and it was offered, would you buy it? If not, you shouldn't keep it.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2024 17:37     Subject: Help me declutter
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Re: kids school work. How much of it do we save? My DC is 12 and I have artwork and school work starting from Pre-K in 3 cardboard boxes now. Do you let them pick a few and toss the rest?


They won't want more than one small box when they are adults (and they may not even want that.) Pick one or two things from each year. Don't save anything large. Also, just remember that these decisions are not critical - it doesn't really matter which pieces you save.


Yeah, when my parents cleaned out the family house they had kept all sorts of stuff like elementary school report cards and school work, which I'm sure would have been invaluable to my biographer. But I've reached the point in my life where I know nobody's going to be writing my biography, so I looked it over and tossed it all.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2024 12:32     Subject: Help me declutter
Anonymous wrote:Re: kids school work. How much of it do we save? My DC is 12 and I have artwork and school work starting from Pre-K in 3 cardboard boxes now. Do you let them pick a few and toss the rest?


They won't want more than one small box when they are adults (and they may not even want that.) Pick one or two things from each year. Don't save anything large. Also, just remember that these decisions are not critical - it doesn't really matter which pieces you save.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2024 12:20     Subject: Help me declutter
Take 2 bags in. Make 3 piles. Keep, donate, trash. Sort into piles by going around the room. Start with a bookshelf or your desk.
You do need to pull everything out, literally everything for this to work.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2024 12:01     Subject: Help me declutter
Anonymous wrote:Re: kids school work. How much of it do we save? My DC is 12 and I have artwork and school work starting from Pre-K in 3 cardboard boxes now. Do you let them pick a few and toss the rest?


PP and I just moved an entire box of my schoolwork, art projects, awards, notes. For context: I’m 54 and began school in 1975! I am now the mom of 3DC-all college age+ and also have boxes of THEIR memorabilia. I’m drowning.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2024 11:12     Subject: Help me declutter
Pp again - some of my drawers have junk papers. I'm not even sure now what to use it for anymore.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2024 11:11     Subject: Help me declutter
Re: kids school work. How much of it do we save? My DC is 12 and I have artwork and school work starting from Pre-K in 3 cardboard boxes now. Do you let them pick a few and toss the rest?