Anonymous wrote:I’m a female attorney working a full time and fairly demanding in-house job (I.e. not just 9-5). DH has a demanding full time job too. We have 2 kids and family around to help as needed. It’s hard but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love having 2 kids and I know that they will grow up and things will get easier and to me the hard work is worth it.

If you are questioning whether 2 kids is worth it, it may not be. You have to really want it.

Everyone has a demanding job.

I’m a female attorney working a full time and fairly demanding in-house job (I.e. not just 9-5). DH has a demanding full time job too. We have 2 kids and family around to help as needed. It’s hard but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love having 2 kids and I know that they will grow up and things will get easier and to me the hard work is worth it.

If you are questioning whether 2 kids is worth it, it may not be. You have to really want it.

I have 3 but to make it all work, I went to an easy, low paying job at legal aid. I'm not one to relish the younger years, so balancing a higher powered job + the stresses of babies/toddlers would have been too much for me personally. Among my friends who have 3 kids plus demanding jobs, they are usually the types who are happy to cosleep few years and cook separate meals every night and put the kids to bed at 9pm, etc. I am type B and that would all too exhausting for me. Other friends who have made it work in demanding jobs with 3 kids tend to have daycare + FT nanny. I imagine we would have needed to do the same if I had stayed in a law firm with high billable requirements.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an attorney with two kids. I would say it depends on the job and the type of law. Can you compartmentalize and stop thinking about work the minute you are off? I think that would be hard to do as a litigator but it is doable in some government legal jobs. Do you want to enjoy your kids' childhood? Attorneys with enough income can hire help and outsource a ton and can make it work, but these moms are ok not being involved in the details of childhood. If you are ok with that and have the income, go for it. If not and you want to actually spend time with each child and be involved, then you have to decide kids vs career. Women cannot have it all.

+1 women are Not men. You choose.

Men cannot have it all either.

I think it's much easier for men to have it all. High earning men are more willing to marry stay at home moms than the other than around. And generally men are either incapable or don't care about the everyday details that create the mental load that weigh women down, so they can do their work, come home and spend time with the kids, and just don't care about the details and not stress (and either let their wives worry about it or just bumble through).

This is a fake post

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an attorney with two kids. I would say it depends on the job and the type of law. Can you compartmentalize and stop thinking about work the minute you are off? I think that would be hard to do as a litigator but it is doable in some government legal jobs. Do you want to enjoy your kids' childhood? Attorneys with enough income can hire help and outsource a ton and can make it work, but these moms are ok not being involved in the details of childhood. If you are ok with that and have the income, go for it. If not and you want to actually spend time with each child and be involved, then you have to decide kids vs career. Women cannot have it all.

You can have all that you want. It's just about timing.

I think it's possible to have it all in due course but not a guarantee. OP already has a good career and assuming no fertility issues, can have kids and be involvded if she wants, so guaranteed to achieve one of those things. Pick which is your priority and be ok that you might not (but hooray if you can) achieve the other.

Totally depends on your job and your ability/willingness to outsource. I'm a female government attorney and most other females have 2 kids and some have 1. I only know one female attorney with 3 and their life seems out of control. I don't know any female attorneys at firms with more than 2 and they outsource a lot - au pairs, nannies, house keeper etc. The thing with female attorneys is that they most likely have patterners who are also professionals and have their own careers. Male attorneys (especially at big firms) are more likely to have wives who stay at home or have part time/low commitment jobs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an attorney with two kids. I would say it depends on the job and the type of law. Can you compartmentalize and stop thinking about work the minute you are off? I think that would be hard to do as a litigator but it is doable in some government legal jobs. Do you want to enjoy your kids' childhood? Attorneys with enough income can hire help and outsource a ton and can make it work, but these moms are ok not being involved in the details of childhood. If you are ok with that and have the income, go for it. If not and you want to actually spend time with each child and be involved, then you have to decide kids vs career. Women cannot have it all.

+1 women are Not men. You choose.

Men cannot have it all either.

But nobody expects them to and a whole lot of them don’t feel guilty about it — or won’t talk about it if they do.

Anonymous wrote:A female Supreme Court justice has 7, so you should be good to go up to that at a minimum.

Please.

She also had her aunt to be a SAHM to her kids. If you have a huge network of unpaid family members who will do the emotional and caregiving work for your children, yes, you can have as many as you want. Then you can put down other people who can’t “do it all”

Anonymous wrote:I'm an attorney with two kids. I would say it depends on the job and the type of law. Can you compartmentalize and stop thinking about work the minute you are off? I think that would be hard to do as a litigator but it is doable in some government legal jobs. Do you want to enjoy your kids' childhood? Attorneys with enough income can hire help and outsource a ton and can make it work, but these moms are ok not being involved in the details of childhood. If you are ok with that and have the income, go for it. If not and you want to actually spend time with each child and be involved, then you have to decide kids vs career. Women cannot have it all.

You can have all that you want. It's just about timing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an attorney with two kids. I would say it depends on the job and the type of law. Can you compartmentalize and stop thinking about work the minute you are off? I think that would be hard to do as a litigator but it is doable in some government legal jobs. Do you want to enjoy your kids' childhood? Attorneys with enough income can hire help and outsource a ton and can make it work, but these moms are ok not being involved in the details of childhood. If you are ok with that and have the income, go for it. If not and you want to actually spend time with each child and be involved, then you have to decide kids vs career. Women cannot have it all.

+1 women are Not men. You choose.

Men cannot have it all either.

Everyone in house has 2-3. But our hours are very reasonable.

Anonymous wrote:I'm an attorney with two kids. I would say it depends on the job and the type of law. Can you compartmentalize and stop thinking about work the minute you are off? I think that would be hard to do as a litigator but it is doable in some government legal jobs. Do you want to enjoy your kids' childhood? Attorneys with enough income can hire help and outsource a ton and can make it work, but these moms are ok not being involved in the details of childhood. If you are ok with that and have the income, go for it. If not and you want to actually spend time with each child and be involved, then you have to decide kids vs career. Women cannot have it all.

+1 women are Not men. You choose.

What’s up with the fake troll threads?

I knew when I had two that we couldn't manage any more given our dual atty family (not Biglaw so can't afford a lot of outsourcing help).