Career nanny here.

1) babywearing. Lots of parents will tell me their kid doesn’t like babywearing but every baby I have ever had I have been able to get them used to it. Sometimes they only can hang for short stretches at first, but over time they get used to it.

2) Sleep training. Most second borns get used to carrier or stroller naps quickly but those that really need to nap in the crib due to their personality will need to get on a schedule early and then meals and outings will be planned around that schedule.

At one point I had twin 2yos and a newborn. I would get everyone dressed and diapered and downstairs for breakfast and then I would have the toddlers sit at the table and do an art project (stickers, playdough, coloring—I varied to keep it interesting). While they did that, I made breakfast and packed snacks, lunches and bottles for our outing, all with the baby in a carrier.

Then the toddlers would eat while baby had a bottle and burped. After breakfast, baby would go in the carseat (if we were driving for our outing), or in the stroller (if we were walking somewhere). They would do a short early morning nap about 45 min while walking/driving and then sitting in the stroller while siblings played a bit. Because baby was sleeping, I didn’t have to be holding the stroller, I would just keep it close and have hands free to help the twins. Once the baby woke, we would all sit down for a snack/bottle and then the baby would go in the carrier while the twins continued. I use woven wraps so babies as young as 8 weeks can go up on my back so pretty hands free. After a bit more play we would head home and do baby’s bottle and lunch for toddlers. Then toddlers would cuddle on the floor in baby’s room while I rocked the baby, then I would read books and do toddlers’ nap routine. In the afternoon I would set up a special project to do together and the baby would be nearby in a swing/playmat/bouncer or in my lap while I helped the twins, then they’d play in the playroom for the last hour and a half of the day before dinner and baby would have a bottle and a power nap before dinner in the carrier or in a bassinet in the playroom. After dinner I would do baths for all 3 and mom would nurse the baby and get her dressed while I did pjs and bedtime stories with the twins, then I would rock the baby and mom would do bedtime for the toddlers.

Really, how does anyone do twins?

I didn't worry about those details. Honestly, this is their job. They figure it out.

It works out, the same it would if you had a parent at home caring for both kids.
I have kids 2 years apart and will say that having the older one in half day morning preschool made it easier to handle both kids solo in the afternoon. The two year old could have a more mellow afternoon having had a busy active morning out of the home. Getting them on the same afternoon nap (and later dinner) schedule at the earliest also helps.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how do YOU take care of them both?

You do...right?

Haha! Hysterical. Just what I was thinking. How have mothers for centuries taken care of more than one child??

Yes most parents do this.. You park the stroller next to the jungle gym at the park and watch both. You settle the two year old down for a short video or crayons while you get the baby settled for a nap. It works out. Occasionally things are not perfect but the kids survive,

I’ve been a nanny for decades. First child is treated like a prince/princess. Second and third kids come along, and everyone learns some patience and resiliency. Younger siblings nap on the go, learn to fall asleep with noise, and nap times shift to accommodate the older child. Your nanny will know how to handle this.

This is a very brief window. Your 4 month old’s schedule will be in constant flux for the next 6 months. It will be easier when everyone has a settled nap routine later this year, but it’s perfectly workable now.

I did work for one family who was frequently angry with me for making one child wait while another child did what they were doing (napping, eating, getting dropped at school bus). There was a 4 year age difference. I can’t sit and have a full breakfast with both kids while taking one to the bus stop 25 min after my day starts. I couldn’t take a sleeping child to the pool. They have a lot of strange and arbitrary rules for pretty much everything. Don’t be those people. You nanny should know how to handle.

This may be your first rodeo with 2 kids but it’s not your nanny’s. I read your post and I’m like, what’s the big deal here? And a nanny will feel the same way. It will be ok! Truly.

OP you sound very anxious and paranoid. Your baby can sleep other places other than the crib if need be. When mine was in infant I made sure one nap a day was in crib ( plus overnight) but other naps could be in stroller, swing, car seat.
With your specific examples she can push the troller around so it’s in eyesight while she is close to 2yo on equipment. It doesn’t need to be in arms reach. As long as she can see it and it’s close by.
She will plan your older kids lunch to coordinate with 4mo being either awake after a nap, or napping already. She can change diaper in view of older child then it takes 30 secs to put a baby in a crib. Stop the rocking to sleep nonsense. Start doing drowsy but awake. Life will be easier for everyone.

Anonymous wrote:I think nanny will do a better job than a parents since it is exactly her job, she does it day to day for living, assumingly for many ears, so she usually figures out what works best for this particular set of children.

.

100% this. When we had a nanny with 2 she was way better at entertaining them. It was her job. I could and did watch them (3 eventually) all alone all the time but she was better at entertaining wise.

Anonymous wrote:I think nanny will do a better job than a parents since it is exactly her job, she does it day to day for living, assumingly for many ears, so she usually figures out what works best for this particular set of children.

Exactly, a nanny should be able to handle more than one child at once, that is their job.

..sorry for typos, "better job than a parent", "for many years"

I think nanny will do a better job than a parents since it is exactly her job, she does it day to day for living, assumingly for many ears, so she usually figures out what works best for this particular set of children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The same way a parent can handle 2 (or more!) children by themselves.

When my second was a baby, I would have my toddler in the sandbox when I was nursing on a park bench. I would strap the baby into the stroller securely while I played on climbing things and swings with the 2 yr old.
Baby likely takes 2 naps and toddler takes one. Baby will likely need to take one nap in the stroller so they aren’t stuck home all day.

The stark reality of babies who aren’t the oldest is that they don’t get rocked to sleep and put down in their crib on a set schedule and sometimes you miss the sleepy window and they are fussy. Or sometimes your underweight toddler consumes more fairlife high protein milk and nutragrain bars than you’d prefer - real life example from my house.

Nannies can care for 2 kids the same as a parent can. That means it is less than perfect but good enough. As long as you recognize your nanny is a real human, not Mary Poppins, and don’t have higher standards for her than you do for yourself, you’ll be ok.

Perfect response!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how do YOU take care of them both?

You do...right?

Haha! Hysterical. Just what I was thinking. How have mothers for centuries taken care of more than one child??

We have friends with two kids who are never alone with both their children at once. It's always mom + dad, or parent + nanny, or parent + grandparent. Apparently some people really can't manage more than one child at a time.

Omg this explains so much. I am a teacher and am sometimes stunned at how much kids expect adults to do for them. Some of them have always had their own adult at all times!

It is part of why a classroom full of first borns and onlies is a nightmare.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how do YOU take care of them both?

You do...right?

Haha! Hysterical. Just what I was thinking. How have mothers for centuries taken care of more than one child??

We have friends with two kids who are never alone with both their children at once. It's always mom + dad, or parent + nanny, or parent + grandparent. Apparently some people really can't manage more than one child at a time.

I am 100% this person. In fact, I wonder if you are taking about me 😂

It’s not that I can’t. It’s just, why would I when I have the option of support?

Because it is healthy for kids to be a part of the offense against a man-down zone defense.