Anonymous wrote:This is a disgusting thread. Those poor teenage girls who already don't fit, then have to be the subject of middle-aged bullies. OP: you knew what you were starting. It's like the only way any of you can feel cool is by whining about cool young women on an anonymous message board. Pathetic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some other examples from music (I actually like/d a lot of pick me music back in the day haha)

Misery Business
She's got a body like an hourglass, it's ticking like a clock
It's a matter of time before we all run out
When I thought he was mine, she caught him by the mouth
I waited eight long months, she finally set him free
I told him I couldn't lie, he was the only one for me
Two weeks and we had caught on fire
She's got it out for me, but I wear the biggest smile
Whoa, I never meant to brag
But I got him where I want him now
Whoa, it was never my intention to brag
To steal it all away from you now

She "stole" the guy from the hourglass hottie and is bragging about it.

Taylor Swift You Belong With Me is a pick me, Pussycat dolls "doncha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me", Avril Lavigne Sk8er boi and I dont like your girlfriend, Alanis Morisette You Otta Know.

If you read the lyrics you can get a sense of the comparison/putting down that makes someone a pick me.

The first of these might be 'pick me' but not the others - not even You Belong With Me and especially not You Oughta No. Longing for someone or anger that you were dumped does not make one a 'pick me' girl.

You Belong with Me is a pick-me anthem. The whole song is about how Taylor is perfect for this guy because she’s not like other girls, but she really gets him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some other examples from music (I actually like/d a lot of pick me music back in the day haha)

Misery Business
She's got a body like an hourglass, it's ticking like a clock
It's a matter of time before we all run out
When I thought he was mine, she caught him by the mouth
I waited eight long months, she finally set him free
I told him I couldn't lie, he was the only one for me
Two weeks and we had caught on fire
She's got it out for me, but I wear the biggest smile
Whoa, I never meant to brag
But I got him where I want him now
Whoa, it was never my intention to brag
To steal it all away from you now

She "stole" the guy from the hourglass hottie and is bragging about it.

Taylor Swift You Belong With Me is a pick me, Pussycat dolls "doncha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me", Avril Lavigne Sk8er boi and I dont like your girlfriend, Alanis Morisette You Otta Know.

If you read the lyrics you can get a sense of the comparison/putting down that makes someone a pick me.

The first of these might be 'pick me' but not the others - not even You Belong With Me and especially not You Oughta No. Longing for someone or anger that you were dumped does not make one a 'pick me' girl.

Anonymous wrote:It’s the “Uncle Tom” of women

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not to be meta, but, if we are criticizing how other girls and women behave, are we any better than them?

Don't get caught in circular logic. Pick me behavior is negative because it pits women in competition with one another for the attention and approval of men. It is a specific behavior some women engage in that perpetuates misogyny and harms other women. It's okay to criticize that, especially in a conversation among women. The goal is ultimately to encourage women to support each other and NOT compete for men in this way. It's ultimately a pro-woman conversation because it's assuming that women have value beyond simply being chosen by men.

This is substantively different than what a pick me woman does, which is subtly put down other women when she is around men, in order to make herself look good. Pick me behavior places the desires of men above everything else. They are the audience and recipient, and pick me women turn all women into auditioners.

But that's exactly what most of these posts are doing. Women who like stereotypically male pastimes are bad because it *must* be performative and only designed to compete with other women, and these women are not as "good" as a woman who is stereotypically feminine. There's no intention involved -- a woman behaves in any other way than the socially approved way around men, she is "subtly put[ting] down other women" and must be scorned.

Also, don't miss the not so subtle anti-male tone here. A woman who appeals to men is BAD because men are oppressors and if it's something they like, it can't be natural or good.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not to be meta, but, if we are criticizing how other girls and women behave, are we any better than them?

Don't get caught in circular logic. Pick me behavior is negative because it pits women in competition with one another for the attention and approval of men. It is a specific behavior some women engage in that perpetuates misogyny and harms other women. It's okay to criticize that, especially in a conversation among women. The goal is ultimately to encourage women to support each other and NOT compete for men in this way. It's ultimately a pro-woman conversation because it's assuming that women have value beyond simply being chosen by men.

This is substantively different than what a pick me woman does, which is subtly put down other women when she is around men, in order to make herself look good. Pick me behavior places the desires of men above everything else. They are the audience and recipient, and pick me women turn all women into auditioners.

But that's exactly what most of these posts are doing. Women who like stereotypically male pastimes are bad because it *must* be performative and only designed to compete with other women, and these women are not as "good" as a woman who is stereotypically feminine. There's no intention involved -- a woman behaves in any other way than the socially approved way around men, she is "subtly put[ting] down other women" and must be scorned.

Anonymous wrote:They are the girls you skanks are jealous of and your husbands think about all the time.

Anonymous wrote:Are there also pick-me boys?

Anonymous wrote:Not to be meta, but, if we are criticizing how other girls and women behave, are we any better than them?

Anonymous wrote:It’s a girl who makes a big deal how she’s not like other girls. She’s a guys girl and too cool for girl drama.